Reviews tagging 'Fatphobia'

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

171 reviews

giocoree's review against another edition

emotional inspiring tense fast-paced

5.0

“a reminder to remember: just because the sharpness of the sadness has faded does not mean that it was not, once, terrible. it means only that time and space, creatures of infinite girth and tenderness, have stepped between the two of you, and they are keeping you safe as they were once unable to.”

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse and Fatphobia

edgaranjapoe's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Lesbophobia, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Alcohol, Body shaming, Fatphobia, Physical abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Cursing, Dysphoria, Sexual assault, Confinement, Grief, Homophobia, Violence, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and Rape

Minor: Sexual harassment, Misogyny, Animal death, Car accident, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Drug abuse, Dementia, Injury/Injury detail, Suicidal thoughts, Drug use, Fire/Fire injury, Infidelity, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Eating disorder, Vomit, Murder, and Medical content

abyissmal's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

 

Carmen Maria Machado’s “In The Dream House” is a piece of work that unravels you—wood by wood, brick by brick, wound by wound. Her exploration of the complexities of abuse in queer relationships is layered with issues of societal expectations, stitched together with folktales and media alike that paints exactly why it is complicated.

Once you've unraveled a layer, you realize you've barely scratched the surface. You realize that the house is a maze.

“I broke the stories down because I was breaking down, and I didn't know what else to do.” (181)

The memoir poignantly illustrates out a specific that comes by merely existing as queer. There's an unspoken double standard enforced onto queer people. The need to uphold us to an impossibly high moral standards that strips away our humanity. 

Because the second one of us makes a mistake (or in many cases, being human), it is the entire group that takes the blunder. Taking away that we, too, are people.

“The irony, of course, is that queer folks need that good PR; to fight rights we don’t have, to retain the ones we do. But haven’t we been trying to say, this whole time, that we’re just like you?” (268)

I had to really let this book stay in the back of my mind. 

My heart was aching. Every page, every annotations, every breakdowns. 

Machado’s writing is vivid. It is present. You can feel the wound itself still pulsing from her prose and you’re left to accompany her in the isolation, in the hurt. 

This memoir has completely engraved itself in my mind, my heart, and my soul. It left me gutted. I was left trying to untangle the knots of my thoughts and feelings yet ultimately, it was all for naught. 

I'll let this memoir haunt me a little longer. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Body shaming, Fatphobia, and Homophobia

floatinthevoid's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

5.0

I wish I could give it more than 5 stars. I still have a lump in my throat as I write this review, because on god, this book took me to a rollercoaster of emotions. Brilliant and poignant writing, thorough research, and the kind of book that really brings out your empathy. You can tell that Carmen Maria Machado has a lot of compassion while writing this, she wants to reveal the ugly truth of queer abusive relationship, but she also wants to tell others who might find themselves in similar situations that there's hope, that someone will believe you. This so hard-hitting for me who has been in a toxic relationship, i think i will cry again while reading some of the quotes that hit too close to home. This book is an important read for everyone. The writing style is easy to digest, although caution is very much needed.

"A reminder to remember: just because the sharpness of the sadness has faded does not mean that it was not, once, terrible. It means only that time and space, creatures of infinite girth and tenderness, have stepped between the two of you, and they are keeping you safe as they were once unable to."

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Cursing, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting

Minor: Fatphobia and Lesbophobia

dizzyindecision's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.0

This was honestly pretty triggering for me so I definitely skipped past several parts but it was really beautifully written! 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual content, and Fatphobia

emily_lloyd's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective slow-paced

4.0

Beautiful and thought provoking memoir that discusses emotional abuse in WLW relationships. The concept of using the dream house as a vessel for Machado’s narrative is interesting without compromising the message. Despite it being an unusual format, I was sucked in and couldn’t stop reading 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Fatphobia, Vomit, Stalking, Violence, and Infidelity

lisbethleftwich's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship

Minor: Body shaming, Fatphobia, and Suicidal thoughts

faefires's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Domestic abuse, and Toxic relationship

Minor: Fatphobia

xfallenxnightx's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective tense medium-paced

5.0

Beautifully written memoir about domestic violence in a queer relationship. The writer surely has a way with words, this had me crying, laughing, and feeling confusion and anger alongside the author. Can’t wait to read more of her work.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship and Domestic abuse

Moderate: Lesbophobia, Violence, Infidelity, and Homophobia

Minor: Fatphobia

elwirax's review against another edition

emotional reflective fast-paced

3.0

I speak into the silence. I toss the stone of my story into a vast crevice; measure the emptiness by its small sound.

 

As this is a memoir my rating is not based on Machado's experience but rather the way it was structured and written as a whole. Please do not take this as direct criticism of how the author has chosen to cope and portray her trauma (despite how contradictory that sounds).

I don't really have any profound criticism of In the Dream House just minor personal dislikes. Something I couldn't really click with was the writing style particularly when it switched between first person and second person. I understand that this was used as a way to put the reader in the author's shoes and while I appreciate that, I also didn't feel connected due to the lack of internal monologues and in depth look into emotions. Another thing were the constant footnotes and references to media. There were clear parallels in say, Stranger by the Lake and Gaslight but I couldn't always connect them with the context of the author's experiences (although, maybe that was just me not looking deep enough into their significance). It's definitely an interesting addition to a memoir but sometimes the book didn't know whether it wanted to me a memoir or a critical analysis/ dissertation on how same sex relationships and violence have been portrayed in media. This resulted in choppy writing that ranged from really formal to rather simple and took away from the flow of the text. I think that while the references added a bit of nuance to the text and supported the author's experience, they also took away from it through the pages and pages of description that sometimes felt like filler. As a side note,  what was that mouse stomping scene about and the narcissism after finding out friend's roommate died in a fire?! A bit weird to me. 

Nevertheless, writing about her experience with an abusive, queer relationship must not have been easy. Hats of to Machado for writing about a topic that deserves more recognition than it recieves in the media. I also really liked the choose your own adventure part, though that is obviously not as important as the subject matter.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Sexual content, Gaslighting, and Domestic abuse

Moderate: Fatphobia, Mental illness, and Biphobia

Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual harassment, Suicidal thoughts, and Abandonment