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lisamayradb's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, Suicide attempt, and Sexual harassment
cerysvy's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Abandonment, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail
rea_195's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
There is a lot to say about this book, so I'll start with the things that i didn't like and end with the things that I did.
Didn't:
1) First thing that I disliked was how much trauma Jude has gone throught and how it ruined the realism of the book. When Jude escaped the home and we find out everything that has happened to him, it just made me sad, confused and pissed. Hasn't he been through enough, what was the point and why did the author decide to do that, because as much as it hurt me, it took me out od the story those parts just felt too unrealistic. It is impossible that in 16 years of his life he hasn't ran into someone decent enough to help him, someone who is not a pedophile and a rapist.
2) Repetitiveness. I know that is the whole point, but some Judes thoughts felt a little too repetitive in the end. It was okay at first, but coming close to the end of the book it was too much for me. We already know Jude, we know how much his work means to him and the way he feels like a whole person there, so I think that those thoughts were a bit unnecessery and the only reason i put this here was because I feel like it would be better to remove some of those parts and replace them with a story of another character.
3) And here is the last part that I didn't like and it's connected with part 2) which is lack of another charachters stories. When the book started, we were immediately introduced to JB, Malcolm and Willem. And through the book that gets lost, we do get more of Willem though, but what about JB and Malcom!!! I was really invested in JBs addiction story and when that part ended he wasn't mentioned anymore that deeply, also we get a brief moments for Malcom and him not being sure about his sexuality and him deciding if he wants to get married, but that's all.
Liked:
I really liked the characters and how complex they were. From the very beginning it feels like they are real people and that you are indeed reading about someones life, someones thoughts, beliefs, dreams and doubts. Because of that, the book feels so raw and real(if you ignore the happy years, chapter 2). And in the end I was so devastated, because of the way it ended and that it ended, meaning that I won't get to read more about the people, characters I fell in love with and just for that reason I know that I'll hold a lot of them near to my heart. Another thing that stood out to me was the pacing and the unknowns of the time. Time wasn't determined by days, years but with events, seasons and holidays. The writing was immaculate, I loved the way the author explained emotions and explored characters. There were a lot of parts that hit very hard and you feel it deeply, but there are also funny moments that make you laugh and some parts that you can relate to. Considering that the book is so long I never felt bored reading it or not wanting to pick it up, I don't know how that's possible, but somehow it is. For me the title represents all lives, because after sometime no one will remember you and it will be like you have never existed at all, but that is not the point, to be remembered, the point is that you got through the bad times and lived your life to the fullest, it was indeed little, but its yours and you should cherish it. Overall I loved the book and I will never forget it.
Graphic: Body horror, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicide, Violence, Blood, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Addiction, Drug use, Eating disorder, and Kidnapping
mollymccreedy's review against another edition
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
This book should not be recommended lightly and people should absolutely be informed of what they're getting into before reading it.
At the time, I thought this was the best novel I had ever read, and I have a deep love and appreciation for that view, but the more I sit with this book and listen to what others have to say, I understand and appreciate how deeply troubling and harmful this book is. I was sobbing every 20 pages (no lie) and it took me MONTHS to get though this. It broke me in so many ways and it took me a long time to pick up another book after finishing this one.
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail
I would absolutely not recommend this book to just anyone. Heck, I wouldn't recommend it to 99% of the people I know. I read this book not realizing what it was about and what the author has said about talk therapy. The description of this book is horribly misleading and the more I sit with the knowledge of what I read, the more I realize how deeply upsetting and deeply problematic this book is.katieeyu's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Death, Suicidal thoughts, and Blood
mrgrdsnts's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Addiction, Drug abuse, and Grief
e_kamil20's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
selimhannah's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Bullying, Drug use, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Religious bigotry, Stalking, Outing, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, and Alcohol
annmoeba's review against another edition
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicide, Torture, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Abandonment
annkristin's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
Personally, i do not consider this story to be trauma-dumbing for shock value since every traumatic incident is somehow connected to Jude. Jude, a person of colour, queer, disabled and in the system of child service. He is in every way imaginable underpriviliged and we have to acknowledge those in our society, who are also intersectionally marginalised. Those who have been, like Jude, led down over and over again by the system we live in as well as the people in it. People with some kind of similiar experiences exist in real life.
Also, i was positively suprised by the beautiful and touching passages in the book. From everything i heard about this story i expected every single page to be sad. But just as life itself it also contains beautiful, human moments filled with so much hope and love.
In general Yanagiharas writing is absolutley exceptional. She made these characters so incredibly real. It is crazy how much so. Everything she writes makes you as a reader feel so much.
This talent in writing also led to so many intersting explorations on diferent themes. Throughout this book i kept on being intrigued by thought provoking ideas she frequently touched on.
However, i still have huge points of critic. For one, the authors take that therapy is useless. It is only obscured and underlying but at the same time such a giant and problematic opinion to express (even if only subliminal). I strongly diagree and believe it is extremely dangerous. What messages does it send to survivors?! What does this ending tell people who do actually struggle with mental health issues? It only spreads helplessness and devastation.
Also, what the fuck is up with the way she depicts gay men?! According to how Yanagiharas portrayal you would have to assume that every gay men is a pedophile or deeply mentally sick. That is such a horrible way to write about a already stigmatised group of people. Especially since she herself is straight and female.
Furthermore, i have to admit that being in Judes perspective so much is draining to say the least. I started to take over some aspects of thinking: Self-destructive, self-hating and deeply scarred. It actually really impacted my own mental health at times.
Overall, there is not a singluar or right way to think about this very complex book. I personally find my self thinking back and actually rereading so many passages of this book over and over again. Still i would not really recommend this book to anyone knowing what it could/would trigger.
Graphic: Child abuse, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Vomit