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dreiac's review
5.0
An extremely important book on Complex PTSD. Took my sweet ass time with this one, mostly due to processing some key points very close to home. Definitely a book to keep in the bookshelf to revisit.
mxunsmiley's review against another edition
5.0
Amazing book. I had been reading it sporadically for over a week and probably would have continued that way were it not for another recommendation. It can be upsetting at first and in various other places because it naturally hits too close to home, but it may begin to disentangle you from the denial you may feel about your childhood and the way you deal with it now, especially neglect, if you read this and also have CPTSD.
I'd like to further expand upon that--the issue of neglect. I think a lot of people who talk about childhood trauma tend to fixate on abuse, physical and sexual, and while I'm not trying to discount that because they are extremely damaging in a myriad of ways, there is little talk of the insidious ways neglect can manifest itself. While I don't think that he delved too deeply in the ways neglect can appear and even trick us into thinking we weren't neglected (because of this very refusal to discuss and explore it in many circles aside from overt neglect), I felt like he approached it in a way that made you wonder... "Hm. Yeah. Maybe so." But because I'm very early in recognizing that I have CPTSD, it still rings very dubiously to me.
My favorite part of this book is how hopefully he describes the entire process and journey. I know a lot of trauma survivors in general approach life very hopelessly and discount the benefits of seeking help because well, nothing has ever worked, why would it now? Why keep trying? So the way he presents his case for self-help, with his practical toolboxes and strategies, makes me, in particular, feel like getting better is possible--maybe not complete recovery, because he does acknowledge this (which I also appreciate), but a life that you think is worth living.
Something that sparked a train of thought in my mind, though, is how he describes the four Fs, the coping defenses that people with CPTSD have, either mostly one or a combination of them. It's made me wonder about the legitimacy of personality disorders and whether they should really be considered such (because all four Fs remind me of some personality disorder in the DSM), rather than coping mechanisms. Of course, not all personality disorders are results of trauma (they say... but it makes you wonder, when the statistics tell you otherwise, that trauma is extremely common), so maybe that's moot.
One complaint I have, though, is the stigmatizing language he uses toward people with BPD, many of whom are also traumatized and really meet the criteria for CPTSD, honestly. It's unfair because otherwise he treats all other traumatized people with compassion and understanding, including so-called "fight" types who resort to attack and narcissism to cope with their trauma.
Last thing I have to say is that if you have CPTSD, or suspect you have it, read this book. It can be uncomfortable, and you may have to space readings of it because it can be like triggering yourself, but it's worth it. I intend to refer back to it a lot.
I'd like to further expand upon that--the issue of neglect. I think a lot of people who talk about childhood trauma tend to fixate on abuse, physical and sexual, and while I'm not trying to discount that because they are extremely damaging in a myriad of ways, there is little talk of the insidious ways neglect can manifest itself. While I don't think that he delved too deeply in the ways neglect can appear and even trick us into thinking we weren't neglected (because of this very refusal to discuss and explore it in many circles aside from overt neglect), I felt like he approached it in a way that made you wonder... "Hm. Yeah. Maybe so." But because I'm very early in recognizing that I have CPTSD, it still rings very dubiously to me.
My favorite part of this book is how hopefully he describes the entire process and journey. I know a lot of trauma survivors in general approach life very hopelessly and discount the benefits of seeking help because well, nothing has ever worked, why would it now? Why keep trying? So the way he presents his case for self-help, with his practical toolboxes and strategies, makes me, in particular, feel like getting better is possible--maybe not complete recovery, because he does acknowledge this (which I also appreciate), but a life that you think is worth living.
Something that sparked a train of thought in my mind, though, is how he describes the four Fs, the coping defenses that people with CPTSD have, either mostly one or a combination of them. It's made me wonder about the legitimacy of personality disorders and whether they should really be considered such (because all four Fs remind me of some personality disorder in the DSM), rather than coping mechanisms. Of course, not all personality disorders are results of trauma (they say... but it makes you wonder, when the statistics tell you otherwise, that trauma is extremely common), so maybe that's moot.
One complaint I have, though, is the stigmatizing language he uses toward people with BPD, many of whom are also traumatized and really meet the criteria for CPTSD, honestly. It's unfair because otherwise he treats all other traumatized people with compassion and understanding, including so-called "fight" types who resort to attack and narcissism to cope with their trauma.
Last thing I have to say is that if you have CPTSD, or suspect you have it, read this book. It can be uncomfortable, and you may have to space readings of it because it can be like triggering yourself, but it's worth it. I intend to refer back to it a lot.
cricket1208's review
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
5.0
I think everyone should read this book. It opens your eyes to how traumatizing our culture is and how you can address your personal trauma and move forward and be a better person. It's how you can grow and heal.
cecropiansea's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
jaybrad's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
firefelice7's review against another edition
4.0
Written by someone with CPTSD, so that's nice, as there is a good personal understanding of it by the author. Helpful, but also triggering, but that's normal when talking about this topic. Listened to this as an audiobook, it was kind of boring at times, but that's probably because of the narrator.
broiger's review against another edition
5.0
I got this book at the recommendation of my therapist after a few months working through my own complex trauma around physical abuse and emotional neglect as a child. This book is brilliant and captures the nuanced and underdeveloped field of symptomology and treatment related to childhood maltreatment. Walker describes what complex trauma looks like from multiple angles and gives many vignettes of other experiences, and he lays these out in what recovery can look like as well.
If you don’t think you have experienced complex trauma and are unsure of whether to read this book, I would recommend it anyway. The narrative points back to a fundamental developmental need that is missed by many parental caregivers and the ongoing pandemic of childhood maltreatment on a physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual level. Complex trauma is underdeveloped because of its subjective construction (like so many other diagnoses) and the political failure of many academics to recognize its necessity in addressing developmental trauma, no matter how minute.
This book was a journey over months that I poured into. At times, I couldn’t stop reading. Other times, I needed to set it down for weeks at a time. But I always came back to it, and the truth is that I needed to and will continue to come back to it. Its resources, toolboxes and insight are too valuable to put away while I continue a lifelong journey of healing.
If you don’t think you have experienced complex trauma and are unsure of whether to read this book, I would recommend it anyway. The narrative points back to a fundamental developmental need that is missed by many parental caregivers and the ongoing pandemic of childhood maltreatment on a physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual level. Complex trauma is underdeveloped because of its subjective construction (like so many other diagnoses) and the political failure of many academics to recognize its necessity in addressing developmental trauma, no matter how minute.
This book was a journey over months that I poured into. At times, I couldn’t stop reading. Other times, I needed to set it down for weeks at a time. But I always came back to it, and the truth is that I needed to and will continue to come back to it. Its resources, toolboxes and insight are too valuable to put away while I continue a lifelong journey of healing.
kaelaceleste's review against another edition
5.0
I'm reading this book in a non linear way - bouncing back and forth, taking notes, highlighting, etc., so it's hard to track my progress, but I'm going to go ahead and mark it as read since this has taken up a massive amount of my attention span over the past month and a half. Not to get too vulnerable on Goodreads of all places but I will a little bit.
This book was recommended to me by my therapist. I was a bit put off by "PTSD" in the title - that to me has always been associated with people like veterans or just folks who have been through intense, violent trauma. But the "C" at the beginning was the real key here.
I cannot emphasize just how much this book has changed my mindset about my mental health and the experiences I've been through. I almost don't know how to put into words how it felt to read this and see some of my own life experiences on the page. The very first day I started reading the copy I borrowed from my therapist, I had to repeatedly put it down because I was so shocked at how much the content paralleled my own feelings and experiences. After a few days, I actually went and ordered a copy for myself so I could take notes in it and have it to reference back to. I have NEVER felt the urge to write in a book like that before. After a week, I went and ordered another copy for someone else in my life. I really cannot overstate how much of an impact reading this has had on how I process my own trauma and understand how it relates to my life now.
Even in the very first chapter, so many parts stood out to me and have stuck with me in and out of my therapy sessions. I love the exploration of the different trauma response styles, as well as the addition of the "fawn" response, which I felt fit so many of my experiences better than the better-known "fight or flight" responses. I also got a lot out of the explorations of the inner critic and emotional flashbacks and how they can affect every part of my daily life.
It feels hyperbolic to say this book changed my life but I have truly, never felt such a strong response like this before, especially within the lens of therapy tools. Not even every single thing in here applies to me 100%, or even at all - but the stuff that does just hit really, really hard. Not sure I'd recommend this to like....absolutely EVERYONE in the world but anyone dealing with trauma responses or emotional exploration or anything at all therapy-related might get something out of this.
This book was recommended to me by my therapist. I was a bit put off by "PTSD" in the title - that to me has always been associated with people like veterans or just folks who have been through intense, violent trauma. But the "C" at the beginning was the real key here.
I cannot emphasize just how much this book has changed my mindset about my mental health and the experiences I've been through. I almost don't know how to put into words how it felt to read this and see some of my own life experiences on the page. The very first day I started reading the copy I borrowed from my therapist, I had to repeatedly put it down because I was so shocked at how much the content paralleled my own feelings and experiences. After a few days, I actually went and ordered a copy for myself so I could take notes in it and have it to reference back to. I have NEVER felt the urge to write in a book like that before. After a week, I went and ordered another copy for someone else in my life. I really cannot overstate how much of an impact reading this has had on how I process my own trauma and understand how it relates to my life now.
Even in the very first chapter, so many parts stood out to me and have stuck with me in and out of my therapy sessions. I love the exploration of the different trauma response styles, as well as the addition of the "fawn" response, which I felt fit so many of my experiences better than the better-known "fight or flight" responses. I also got a lot out of the explorations of the inner critic and emotional flashbacks and how they can affect every part of my daily life.
It feels hyperbolic to say this book changed my life but I have truly, never felt such a strong response like this before, especially within the lens of therapy tools. Not even every single thing in here applies to me 100%, or even at all - but the stuff that does just hit really, really hard. Not sure I'd recommend this to like....absolutely EVERYONE in the world but anyone dealing with trauma responses or emotional exploration or anything at all therapy-related might get something out of this.