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chloehauenstein's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia and Sexual assault
lolasherwin's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Rape, and Sexual assault
bookshelvish's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
mysterious
reflective
sad
slow-paced
3.25
This one was HEAVY. This is probably the first nonfiction book I’ve read that reads like fiction. It follows three women’s respective stories about women’s desire: Sloane, Lina, and Maggie. Sloane and her husband are swingers, Lina is stuck in a sexless marriage and carrying on an affair with her high school sweetheart, and Maggie is in the midst of a trial centering around the sexual relationship she had with her teacher when she was 17.
This book has received all sorts of attention, and I really wanted to like it. At times, I did. It made me think a LOT about the types of women I empathize with and those I don’t, and it was convicting at points for that exact reason. I found Lina annoying and whiny, Sloane sympathetic but timid, and Maggie frustrating and pitiable. I don’t think any of the women were particularly likable, and I wouldn’t want to be friends with any of them. Is that a good gauge of the characters? Probably not, but that’s also because they’re real people.
I don’t like giving star ratings to nonfiction, as it largely feels like I’m rating someone’s experience. Maggie, particularly, walked through something that is absolutely unimaginable. So, my star rating reflects how much I enjoyed reading rather than the actual content or writing of this book. Lisa Taddeo did an excellent job of shedding light on these women’s stories, and I am grateful to her for devoting so many years to make sure that their voices were listened to.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault
kelshef's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
3.0
This was a complicated reading experience. I listened to the audiobook, and received a lot of feedback about the book from people I know who have read it. I think I would have enjoyed the book more had I read it - the explicit and harrowing descriptions of violent and sexual experiences were extremely difficult to listen to at times. However, it was a well-produced audiobook, and I appreciated each of the women having their own narrator and voice.
The question I thought of most while listening was “Why?” I started listening because I was interested in reviews that were published when the book came out, so I had some understanding of the author’s process, but I still feel like there are unsatisfying gaps in my understanding of why this book was written, and why it was written in the way it was.
While fairly engrossing, the character’s stories are told from a distance. This distance, which i’d anticipate would be almost impossible to avoid, given that the author is not the women themselves, is dissonant with the extremely personal descriptions of sex, shame, body image, and relationships. Denied their own interiority by the author’s decisions about organization and narrative consistency, the characters came across as flat and devoid of consistent motivation.
I would anticipate that the author’s motivation in writing this is to give women the stories and understanding
that they’re frequently denied in literature and media written by men, to show that every woman has complexity and nuance to her experiences with sex and desire. However, I came away feeling that each woman’s story was sensationalized and denied nuance, by being forced into a disconnected narrative. Each story is heartbreaking, interesting, and mundane, but together, the reader is left again questioning what the purpose is to put them together in this way.
Many have noted the lack of racial and sexuality diversity in these stories. I can understand why the author, a white woman, would have had an easier time persuading other white women to give her as much of their stories and interior lives as these women did, and I appreciate the importance of diverse people having the ability to tell their own stories. However, I found the throwaway reference to a Black woman the author tried to work with for the book to be trite, with little consideration for why the woman would have decided not to let the author into her life.
I personally found this book alternately compelling and excruciating. There were several points where the writing felt like pointless explicit exploitation, and I almost gave up. But, by the end, I needed to know what happened. I have read a fair amount of creative non-fiction, so felt prepared for the narrative style, but ended up finding the writing to be unable to stand up to the gravity of the women’s stories. The decision to write these non-fiction stories like a novel fails to account for the fact that the characters are real people, whose stories won’t fit into a neat narrative box. When these narrative gaps or moments of dissonance happened, I believe that the book would have benefitted from some authorial intervention to explain more of the information-gathering and writing process.
The question I thought of most while listening was “Why?” I started listening because I was interested in reviews that were published when the book came out, so I had some understanding of the author’s process, but I still feel like there are unsatisfying gaps in my understanding of why this book was written, and why it was written in the way it was.
While fairly engrossing, the character’s stories are told from a distance. This distance, which i’d anticipate would be almost impossible to avoid, given that the author is not the women themselves, is dissonant with the extremely personal descriptions of sex, shame, body image, and relationships. Denied their own interiority by the author’s decisions about organization and narrative consistency, the characters came across as flat and devoid of consistent motivation.
I would anticipate that the author’s motivation in writing this is to give women the stories and understanding
that they’re frequently denied in literature and media written by men, to show that every woman has complexity and nuance to her experiences with sex and desire. However, I came away feeling that each woman’s story was sensationalized and denied nuance, by being forced into a disconnected narrative. Each story is heartbreaking, interesting, and mundane, but together, the reader is left again questioning what the purpose is to put them together in this way.
Many have noted the lack of racial and sexuality diversity in these stories. I can understand why the author, a white woman, would have had an easier time persuading other white women to give her as much of their stories and interior lives as these women did, and I appreciate the importance of diverse people having the ability to tell their own stories. However, I found the throwaway reference to a Black woman the author tried to work with for the book to be trite, with little consideration for why the woman would have decided not to let the author into her life.
I personally found this book alternately compelling and excruciating. There were several points where the writing felt like pointless explicit exploitation, and I almost gave up. But, by the end, I needed to know what happened. I have read a fair amount of creative non-fiction, so felt prepared for the narrative style, but ended up finding the writing to be unable to stand up to the gravity of the women’s stories. The decision to write these non-fiction stories like a novel fails to account for the fact that the characters are real people, whose stories won’t fit into a neat narrative box. When these narrative gaps or moments of dissonance happened, I believe that the book would have benefitted from some authorial intervention to explain more of the information-gathering and writing process.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Sexual violence
fatkidatheartreads's review against another edition
dark
emotional
4.0
This was a difficult book to read. I wish it was fictional accounts of what happened to these women. I'm a woman so I know it's factual. I'm saddened by the world we live in and the circumstances we face.
"Women shouldn't judge each others lives, if we haven't been through one another's fires."
My heart breaks for these women. I wish they would have gotten justice for what they went through. They were brave to have shared this.
This is heavy on trigger warnings so please check those out.
And teachers who should be safe spaces for their students but are instead pedophilic maniacs deserve a fate worse than death!
I am humbled by these women's bravery and disgusted by the men performing these kind of atrocities!
"Women shouldn't judge each others lives, if we haven't been through one another's fires."
My heart breaks for these women. I wish they would have gotten justice for what they went through. They were brave to have shared this.
This is heavy on trigger warnings so please check those out.
And teachers who should be safe spaces for their students but are instead pedophilic maniacs deserve a fate worse than death!
I am humbled by these women's bravery and disgusted by the men performing these kind of atrocities!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Rape, and Sexual assault
kassy182's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
all i have to say is that men are awful and time and again they prove how awful they can be and often innately are. women that support awful men with the knowledge of the extent of their awfulness are just as bad if not worse.
women deserve more. women have never been given what they deserve and they deserve so much more than a man can even conceive.
women deserve more. women have never been given what they deserve and they deserve so much more than a man can even conceive.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Car accident, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment
sprigofdill's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Taddeo‘s writing is approachable and intensely readable. The stories she shared with us are compelling and at times humourous, uncomfortable, erotic and heartbreaking.
However much I liked the work and admire he intensity of its process of creation, I did develop a discomfort in its aim. Taddeo outlines in the prologue that she hopes to illustrate the relatability of female desire through three specific women’s experiences. However, I do question the universality of the three white women (two catholic women) as benchmarks for the universality of female sexuality and desire. On the same note, I also acknowledge that perhaps the author isn’t the person for the job of describing the sexuality of All intersectional women, however.
Ultimately, this book was so worth the read if you are to set aside the claimed of “relatability”.
However much I liked the work and admire he intensity of its process of creation, I did develop a discomfort in its aim. Taddeo outlines in the prologue that she hopes to illustrate the relatability of female desire through three specific women’s experiences. However, I do question the universality of the three white women (two catholic women) as benchmarks for the universality of female sexuality and desire. On the same note, I also acknowledge that perhaps the author isn’t the person for the job of describing the sexuality of All intersectional women, however.
Ultimately, this book was so worth the read if you are to set aside the claimed of “relatability”.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Sexual assault, and Sexual content
quills4days's review against another edition
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Death of parent
rswindle1990's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Easily jumped into my top ten favorite books of all time. Maybe top 5. Incredible writing. Artful narrative techniques that are subtle and exquisite, and most importantly that allow the truth of each woman to pour through and stand on its own without distraction. Just stunning I cannot recommend this book enough and can’t wait to read more from Lisa Taddeo.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, and Suicide
emilyhansen's review against another edition
emotional
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Eating disorder, and Sexual assault