Reviews tagging 'Sexual assault'

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

17 reviews

chamomiledaydreams's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

5.0

This book is a fantastic read!  It highlights historical equivalents of asexuality (such as frigidity) and explains how they were often conflated with other non-heterosexual identities such as lesbianism.  It addresses the many ways in which compulsory sexuality harms everyone, asexual and allosexual alike, and reaffirms the inherent queerness of asexuality (and by extension, aromanticism).  

Additionally, it explains the concept of chrononormativity to demonstrate how society expects everyone to reach certain milestones at specific points in their lives.  Queer people challenge this concept for many reasons.  For instance, a closeted lesbian might not be able to date and explore her sexuality until well into her twenties, while her straight peers have likely been at this for over a decade.  Similarly, but even more queerly, asexual people often never hit these milestones at all, especially if they are averse to sex and romance.

Sherronda J. Brown also discusses the conflicting sexual stereotypes that apply to Black aces.  They talk about the history of anti-Black racism and how hypersexuality remains a Black stereotype to this day, which can make it especially difficult for Black aces to be believed or for their asexual identities to be legible to others.  

I have identified as ace for over a decade now, and I am thrilled that ace scholarship such as this book exists.  It validates many of my own experiences at the same time that it opens my mind to concepts and trends that I was not previously aware of.  I would recommend this book to anyone interested in thinking more critically about asexuality and treating it like you would any other identity in queer studies.  I wish I had been assigned texts like this when I was in school! 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Sexism, Colonisation, Racism, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Acephobia/Arophobia, Slavery, and Rape

Minor: Police brutality

peachani's review against another edition

challenging informative slow-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Racism and Slavery

Moderate: Medical trauma and Body shaming

Minor: Rape, Dysphoria, Racial slurs, Sexual harassment, Religious bigotry, Ableism, and Sexual assault

workingdaley's review against another edition

challenging hopeful informative reflective slow-paced

5.0

I feel like this is a deeply important read for every queer person, especially Black asexuals. It's deeply important for us to be able to understand asexuality in general, as it's a very misunderstood orientation, but I feel it's especially important to understand asexuality through a Black lens. This book managed to not only speak to some of the thoughts about my asexuality as a Black person that I was only partially able to articulate before reading this, but also speaks a lot to my disconnect with gender and my disconnect with the "human experience" as someone who is Black, asexual, aromantic, agender, and autistic. It also manages to speak to my frustrations with the realization that I've fallen out of the chrononormative structure that's been set out for me. And while my hesitations around marriage and children were going to cause this for me eventually, having it happen so early in my life forces me to really reflect on why life is structured in the way that it is, and what it means for me and my future that I've decidedly fallen off of my pre-determined path. This book has also given me tools to help better navigate consent and trying to work towards a world where we can break free of the allonormative assumption that we should all be desiring sex, and the racist assumption that as a Black person, I am always consenting to sex by my mere existence. I cannot recommend this book to enough people. I really do think that our understanding of queerness is improved when we can acknowledge and analyze the Black asexual lens.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Rape, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Racism

Moderate: Sexual assault, Sexism, Fatphobia, Medical trauma, Sexual violence, Slavery, Sexual harassment, and Domestic abuse

Minor: Biphobia, Homophobia, Religious bigotry, Violence, Death, Emotional abuse, Lesbophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Ableism, Hate crime, Body shaming, Physical abuse, Colonisation, and Transphobia

maddramaqueen's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative reflective medium-paced

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual violence, Racism, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Sexism, Rape, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Body shaming, Homophobia, Slavery, Outing, Physical abuse, and Colonisation

Minor: Dysphoria, Fatphobia, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, Ableism, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Biphobia, Classism, Bullying, Cultural appropriation, Lesbophobia, Alcohol, Pandemic/Epidemic, Abortion, Panic attacks/disorders, Police brutality, Religious bigotry, and Transphobia

kaynova's review against another edition

informative lighthearted reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Racism

Moderate: Forced institutionalization, Misogyny, and Homophobia

reading_rainbeau's review against another edition

emotional informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.25

Beautiful words to investigate identity and find kinship. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Sexual assault, Racism, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Slavery

lanid's review against another edition

informative reflective

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia

Moderate: Racism, Sexual harassment, and Sexual assault

leweylibrary's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative slow-paced

4.5

I'm really glad I read Ace by Angela Chen before this one just because this one was much drier and more academic. That took me out of it and the experience a bit, especially because the author is writing about such big parts of their identity but not really addressing their own experiences of those identifies much. I'm not at all saying this makes the book worse by any means, just that it would've made me feel more invested in it and see even more connections to myself than I did.

That being said, a lot did still resonate with me, and I saw myself in a lot of parts. But by far the most valuable part of this book is how it connects asexuality and compulsive sexuality in our society and cultures is connected to all of the other massive, systemic issues of our world, including white supremacy, cisgender, patriarchy, heteronormative, colonialism, etc. I had never made this connection, but the more this book spelled it out, he more undeniable it became. This also went a long way in reassuring me that asexuality is a queer identity and that it belongs in the LGBTQIA+ acronym and larger culture and world. I'm not a fake queer for having this identity. It's weirdly comforting to know that this part of my identity, especially when paired with my childfree identity, are so terrifying to the "normal" culture. *Punches fist into air triumphantly* All of this made the dryness well worth it.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia, Gaslighting, and Homophobia

Moderate: Medical trauma, Sexual assault, Misogyny, and Religious bigotry

jackieines's review against another edition

informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

2.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia, Slavery, Racism, and Sexual assault

kylieqrada's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative inspiring sad slow-paced

5.0

I am undoubtedly not grasping all that is offered here, both due to my brain capacity and my whiteness. However, I really loved this book!!!! Sherronda's research and arguments were so well-constructed and resonated so strongly. I will never get tired of learning more about the beautiful multi-faceted experience that is asexuality. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Racism, Slavery, and Acephobia/Arophobia

Moderate: Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence

Minor: Homophobia, Lesbophobia, and Biphobia