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refractedtruth's review against another edition
5.0
Maia expertly defines the importance of empathy and relationships in this book. I learned much from this, and I recommend it to everyone.
rebeccaweger's review against another edition
4.0
This book was insightful to me, on both a personal and a societal level. It helped me understand better the challenges I've faced as someone who didn't get quite enough empathy growing up, and why I've struggled with the effects as an adult. The greater perspective on US social and cultural problems was intense. If you're not so sure that gun control is a stand-alone answer to some of our great tragedies, this book would give you a lot to consider.
erinrlreader1994's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, and Murder
ladykatka's review against another edition
5.0
Thus is by far and away one of the best books about empathy I have ever read. anyone who works with or has children should read this book. I cannot recommend it highly enough. I teach special ed and I recommend this book to all teachers regardless of grade or subject area. this book touches your heart and stays with you long after you are finished.
sondosia's review against another edition
3.0
This book approached the issue of empathy from all sorts of angles: developmental psychology, sociology, history, etc. I thought the case studies the authors used to show how empathy develops (or doesn't) in children were particularly useful, and they also connected lack of empathy to economic inequality in a way that I rarely see other authors do. It's not surprising that deficits in empathy have such major implications in society.
However, I think the authors were a little too careless with their biological explanations; while genetics and evolution certainly have a huge role to play in the development and usefulness of therapy, I'm pretty skeptical about the claim that, for instance, teenage girls are so concerned with fitting in because of their biological instinct to find a supportive community in which to raise children, or that people like music with certain rhythms because it reminds them of being in the womb. Like, if you're going to make a claim like that, you have GOT to cite some evidence. And the authors do cite lots of studies, which is great, but they don't necessarily cite studies to back up the outlandish claims I've just mentioned, and others like them.
The authors also did that annoying thing so many writers do where they insert random references to ~screen time~ and ~Facebook~ without ever making any clear claims about how these things supposedly make everything awful. They did have one anecdote about a boy who was literally raised by the TV because his mom had severe postpartum depression and basically ignored him, and while the authors were careful to note that the problem here was not primarily television but the lack of maternal care, they then imply that this has some sort of implications for a society in which children watch a lot of TV. I'm not seeing it.
Finally, while I realize I'm nitpicking one sentence, I was highly disturbed by this: "Of course, sometimes it is necessary to end harmful relationships--but this should be a last resort, not a first suggestion." Did they miss the word "harmful" in that sentence? This suggestion is outright dangerous in a society in which battered women are still frequently told that it's their responsibility to get their partners to stop beating them.
Overall, I recommend this, with the aforementioned reservations. Take the biological claims with a grain of salt and look for actual research evidence where none is being cited.
However, I think the authors were a little too careless with their biological explanations; while genetics and evolution certainly have a huge role to play in the development and usefulness of therapy, I'm pretty skeptical about the claim that, for instance, teenage girls are so concerned with fitting in because of their biological instinct to find a supportive community in which to raise children, or that people like music with certain rhythms because it reminds them of being in the womb. Like, if you're going to make a claim like that, you have GOT to cite some evidence. And the authors do cite lots of studies, which is great, but they don't necessarily cite studies to back up the outlandish claims I've just mentioned, and others like them.
The authors also did that annoying thing so many writers do where they insert random references to ~screen time~ and ~Facebook~ without ever making any clear claims about how these things supposedly make everything awful. They did have one anecdote about a boy who was literally raised by the TV because his mom had severe postpartum depression and basically ignored him, and while the authors were careful to note that the problem here was not primarily television but the lack of maternal care, they then imply that this has some sort of implications for a society in which children watch a lot of TV. I'm not seeing it.
Finally, while I realize I'm nitpicking one sentence, I was highly disturbed by this: "Of course, sometimes it is necessary to end harmful relationships--but this should be a last resort, not a first suggestion." Did they miss the word "harmful" in that sentence? This suggestion is outright dangerous in a society in which battered women are still frequently told that it's their responsibility to get their partners to stop beating them.
Overall, I recommend this, with the aforementioned reservations. Take the biological claims with a grain of salt and look for actual research evidence where none is being cited.
melodyriggs's review against another edition
4.0
Really powerful read as both a parent and an educator. This gave me a lot to chew on. I like that the authors provided realistic solutions to lack of empathy- it’s just funding those solutions that could be an issue, which is so frustrating when data shows something is working. There were some times when things got a little wordy, but overall I think many would benefit from giving this a read.