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3.15 AVERAGE
3.15 AVERAGE
fast-paced
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
“I can’t promise you all of my firsts, but I can promise you every single one of my lasts.”
title: Meet Me in the Penalty Box
author: Cali Melle
published: 2023
publisher: independently published
genre/subgenre: cishetero hockey romance
setting: “Orchid City”, a fictional city near maybe Palm Springs? Or Florida somewhere? idk…
main themes/subjects: hockey, teammates dynamic, new job/new city/new life, abusive ex, photographer FMC, professional hockey player MMC
representation: disabled, nonverbal character who signed with her brother (the MMC), cishetero m/f romance which… is probably just not for me? but idk… I think this may have just been a subpar book & I need to get a good rec & try one more time…
tropes: workplace romance, FMC with a recently broken heart
CW // domestic abuse, car accident
spice level:🌶️🌶️.5 v vanilla tbh
my thoughts:
First of all, Imma just pat myself on the back for reading out of my comfort zone with a m/f romance where neither of the MCs are queer or BIPOC.
& it went about as well as I expected it to go. 😅
Second of all, the writing was kind of appalling? but to the point of it being so distracting & about 20% in I found myself highlighting examples of words & phrases that were like straight up the purplest of prose I mean like the definition of what not to do (as opposed to quotes I actually liked or found moving like I usually highlight…) before straight up skimming the last ~40% of the book. Clearly an excessive & yet somehow also not enough use of a thesaurus was made? Incessantly repeated words & phrases (all purple), cringe similes, & a complete lack of original or intentional use of language… Big big woof.
Thirdly…
…and I ask this with genuine love & concern: are the cisheteros okay? Because oh. my. god. The “spicy” scenes in this book were some of the worst most cringiest sex I’ve ever had the embarrassing misfortune of reading. I don’t want to go into it but if this is how the cishetero men are doing y’all in the bedroom… I just want y’all to know that there’s another way.
Tbf, Harper (god that name) did just come off a long-term relationship with a guy who was basically the exact same person as Nico so… we could probably have talked about that a bit more than I feel like we did…
premise: 👍🏻
execution: 👎🏻
writing style: poor.
characters: flat.
story/plot: weak.
worldbuilding: some weird parts that felt a bit inconsistent with the reality of the pro hockey world like the names of the teams & you can’t sneak into an NHL rinks to skate at night these days—you just can’t…?
philosophy: just, no. the fetishization of possessive men is always going to be a big no for me tbh. protective is ok but possessive is big big red flag territory, you can’t convince me otherwise. That’s some toxic patriarchy bullshit through and through.
notable elements: so, the MMC’s name: Nicolai “Nico” Cirone… I think he was supposed to be ethnically Italian, which, full marks, but the name Nicolai… is Greek? Cirone is southern Italian so the Italian for Nicolai should have been Nicola… & I can’t help but wonder if that name felt too feminine for Melle & their american readers & if so… this is just one more thing that I side-eyed in this book.
And again, with the security around NHL rinks these days (passcodes, alarms, cameras, more than one security guard…) you’re not sneaking in for a midnight skate I’m sorry. & NO NHL team would be called the “Bruisers” lmao.
i would not recommend this book.
final note: I may give cishetero m/f romance ONE more try but I need an A+ rec from someone I can trust.
further reading:
- read this instead: HEATED RIVALRY by Rachel Reid (2019) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ a queer classic (& there are plenty more recs on the further reading for that review too 😘) & then read ROLE MODEL (book five in that series) because a) it’s the best one & b) it is also a workplace romance bw a hockey player & the social media manager for the team.
- a hockey m/f romance that was actually good (probably bc the FMC was bi though): TEAM PLAYERS by Deanna Gray (2022) ★ ★ ★ ★ .5 —an example of a very hot m/f romance, even if they were college students which was weird? but… 😅
- ALONE WITH YOU IN THE ETHER by Olivie Blake (2020) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ —this was a literary m/f romance that was SUPER good & the (autistic-coded) MMC was also Italian, & I’m pretty sure if I remember correctly that the Asian-American FMC was bi (& disabled) in this one…
- my favorite Indigenous m/f romance novel is: LIZARDS HOLD THE SUN by Dani Trujillo (2023) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ which was soooo so good… I’ve got the sequel, WHEN STARS HAVE TEETH (2024), on tap for this summer.
- A couple YA m/f romance novels I’ve liked are PRIDE by Ibi Zoboi (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ —a Pride & Prejudice retelling set in Bushwick— & HIGHLY SUSPCIIOUS AND UNFAIRLY CUTE by Talia Hibbert (2023) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
- I’ve also read & enjoyed book one of Talia Hibbert’s the Brown Sisters trilogy: GET A LIFE, CHLOE BROWN (2019) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
- & then I do have a few more m/f romances on my shelves:
- DO YOUR WORST by Rosie Danan (2023)
- UNDER LOCH AND KEY by Lana Ferguson (2024)
- THE SPELLSHOP by Sarah Beth Durst (2024)
- Idk rec me your favorite m/f romance books in the comments!
Click on the star ratings beside the titles I’ve read to read my reviews/thoughts about the book.
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Check out my review on StopAndSmellTheBooks.com for more of my favorite quotes, notes, & annotations.
No spoilers:
As a lifelong lover of fantasy books, I officially can say THIS book will go down in history as the book that made me fall in love with hockey romances (and contemporary romance). This book was so much fun but also parts of it were a little tough. She has an ex boyfriend that is awful but the author makes up for it with giving him the ending he deserves.
I love a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. Also I need you to hear me…the way these two meet at the club is S P I C Y. I’m hopeful this gets made into a movie one day.
As a lifelong lover of fantasy books, I officially can say THIS book will go down in history as the book that made me fall in love with hockey romances (and contemporary romance). This book was so much fun but also parts of it were a little tough. She has an ex boyfriend that is awful but the author makes up for it with giving him the ending he deserves.
I love a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. Also I need you to hear me…the way these two meet at the club is S P I C Y. I’m hopeful this gets made into a movie one day.
I’m enjoying reading backlist books from favorite authors, and this one was addicting, I couldn’t put it down. She was the one thing he couldn’t have, but that didn’t stop him from getting what he wanted…It’s a fun, spicy, sports hockey romance novel featuring the forbidden relationship between Nico, a professional hockey player and the team’s photographer, Harper. I fell hard for Nico as he fell hard and first for Harper, such a sweet soul looking for love. I’m looking forward to continuing the Orchard City series!
funny
relaxing
fast-paced
This was such a a nice read! I will definitely be reading more in the series.
Quick hockey romance. Adorably sweet, small town and hockey? Yes please!
The good old forbidden love trope, how I enjoy it. She’s a photographer, recently hired by the Orchid City hockey team. He’s a hockey player. They’re aren’t allowed to fraternize with each other, per the league guidelines.
When they first met in a bar, they had no idea who the other was. It wasn’t until Harper shows up for her first day that she sees Nico on the ice with the team. She knows she has to avoid him to keep her job. He knows he can’t let that happen.
I really do like this trope. I just didn’t like this story as much as I have others that are similar. For starters, I hate the nickname “Love.” He starts calling her that pretty early on and I wasn’t digging it. The other thing was all the s3x. I don’t mind spice. I read a lot of spice. But when they’re going at it in the middle of a fight, or after some pivotal tragic moment, it’s just so far fetched.
I just want to start off by saying thank you to Cali Melle for sending me an ARC!!
WOW! Cali has done it again! This truly deserves all 5 stars. I couldn’t put this down and read it in one sitting. I’ve loved Cali’s writing since I first found her books. This has just become a favorite of mine!!
This was such a cute romance story between a professional hockey player and the team photographer. I absolutely adored Harper and Nico thought the whole story. It was amazing to see Harper’s thoughts as Nico put her above everything. Not only was Nico incredibly sweet but he also has a bit of a spicy side that just added to this whole story!
I loved the shorter chapters of this and the text message conversation between the two of them. Can I just take a minute to add how much i LOVED the bond between Nico and Giana. That sibling bond alone added so much more to the story. I could ramble about this all day long because in my opinion it was just that good. I absolutely can’t wait to read the rest of this series!
WOW! Cali has done it again! This truly deserves all 5 stars. I couldn’t put this down and read it in one sitting. I’ve loved Cali’s writing since I first found her books. This has just become a favorite of mine!!
This was such a cute romance story between a professional hockey player and the team photographer. I absolutely adored Harper and Nico thought the whole story. It was amazing to see Harper’s thoughts as Nico put her above everything. Not only was Nico incredibly sweet but he also has a bit of a spicy side that just added to this whole story!
I loved the shorter chapters of this and the text message conversation between the two of them. Can I just take a minute to add how much i LOVED the bond between Nico and Giana. That sibling bond alone added so much more to the story. I could ramble about this all day long because in my opinion it was just that good. I absolutely can’t wait to read the rest of this series!
lighthearted
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Complicated
DNF 63%
wtf is this book. the writing is below average and the main characters go from friends with benefits to automatic wants to be in a relationship but the girl doesn’t want to lose her job.
Harper doesn’t want to lose her job but yet she’ll make out with Nico in the stadium while she’s waiting to take pics of the rest of the hockey players. Like ??? do you want to get caught
wtf is this book. the writing is below average and the main characters go from friends with benefits to automatic wants to be in a relationship but the girl doesn’t want to lose her job.
Harper doesn’t want to lose her job but yet she’ll make out with Nico in the stadium while she’s waiting to take pics of the rest of the hockey players. Like ??? do you want to get caught