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gladysreads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
i understand wanting attention but damn. ms girl needs a lot of psychological evaluations… was kind going crazy when i started reading this books so i can empathize with the MC for some parts but it just keeps getting worse… and worse.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Domestic abuse, Self harm, and Sexual assault
karenteach2626's review
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Misogyny, Rape, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail
aestheticism's review
dark
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Acts of Desperation is the most intimate, immersive experience of a bad relationship I’ve ever encountered - including any other books, including films and shows.
It’s complicated to think critically about the book as a whole. On one hand it was incredible writing, so insightful and such purposeful use of words to convey ideas it feels like no one has explained this well before. Some favourite quotes from around the start of the book were:
“I love myself in love. I find my feelings fascinating and human, and for once I can sympathise with my own actions.”
“Being young and beautiful felt like a lot sometimes, felt like it translated to real-world power, but money shat all over it every time.”
The book can be described as an study on female victimisation: all the different ways a woman - in particular a feminine white woman - can be addicted to it, and all the bad that comes from it. In this sense, it was always so interesting to me, maybe more so as an outsider who can’t really use tears as a weapon. In this case, I do think Boy Parts did a better job of having thorough self awareness (of author, not of protagonist), so I can’t rate this book the same as Boy Parts. There is some reflection and honesty about why she does some things, but I did not feel it was fully acknowledged how much she favours being a victim over anything else (like being safe, being happy)
On the other hand, the heavy topics were plenty, to the point where they couldn’t all be handled with the same amount of care and precision. The aftermath of heavy drinking was always talked about with the voice of an accustomed alcoholic, but you don’t really see the same thing for the self-harm, and definitely not for the eating disorder. Because of that, it felt a little like one of these would get thrown in to illustrate her emotions, but not necessarily be treated with the amount if depth that it should. An example of a book that dealt with such things in a more well-rounded way is Conversations with Friends. Additionally, as someone who is very critical about triggering scenes and classifies most of popular media’s as trauma porn, I can’t say I finished the book completely able to justify the use of each one in relation to the characterisation. The last one in particular did feel like overkill and like it was more there to make a comment on that type of behaviour than to fit well with the protagonist’s progression.
As always with these books, narrators throw around big statements about how people richer than them get X Y and Z, and how they are so underprivileged, but then with no self-awareness go and do something only a very privileged person with parents’ money can do. With Boy Parts, it was at least acknowledged that the protagonist’s parents pay some of her rent. This is why Boy Parts was amazing, it lays everything out on the table and lets you figure out the protagonist’s hypocrisy on your own. With Insatiable, it tried to make money a main theme, while also living an upper class life and having things like parents paying for a wedding. Insatiable is on the low self awareness end of the spectrum of course, and had a way less critical view of the protagonist’s flaws. Now Acts of Desperation does mention upper middle class parents, but the whining about other irresponsible people getting nepotism jobs brought the self awareness back down (wow who would have thought that being irresponsible without having any back up plan would put you in this position? Totally the fault of the guy who has a job and was irresponsible knowing he would have it anyway) then, the protagonist did work full time for a while, making it understandable that she could afford flights and some time off for a foreign country. But then to live in that country for six months without speaking the language? It’s obvious that there is some support from parents but it’s not acknowledged which irked me. Of course, acknowledging it would interfere with the victim narrative, but this was disappointing because by that point it felt as if the character had laid out all her flaws with honesty already. It felt like regressing.
I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand the realistic two sides of a toxic relationship, without getting a clean perfect dichotomy of hero vs villain, BUT is sure they are okay with reading the topics that are possibly triggering.
It’s complicated to think critically about the book as a whole. On one hand it was incredible writing, so insightful and such purposeful use of words to convey ideas it feels like no one has explained this well before. Some favourite quotes from around the start of the book were:
“I love myself in love. I find my feelings fascinating and human, and for once I can sympathise with my own actions.”
“Being young and beautiful felt like a lot sometimes, felt like it translated to real-world power, but money shat all over it every time.”
The book can be described as an study on female victimisation: all the different ways a woman - in particular a feminine white woman - can be addicted to it, and all the bad that comes from it. In this sense, it was always so interesting to me, maybe more so as an outsider who can’t really use tears as a weapon. In this case, I do think Boy Parts did a better job of having thorough self awareness (of author, not of protagonist), so I can’t rate this book the same as Boy Parts. There is some reflection and honesty about why she does some things, but I did not feel it was fully acknowledged how much she favours being a victim over anything else (like being safe, being happy)
On the other hand, the heavy topics were plenty, to the point where they couldn’t all be handled with the same amount of care and precision. The aftermath of heavy drinking was always talked about with the voice of an accustomed alcoholic, but you don’t really see the same thing for the self-harm, and definitely not for the eating disorder. Because of that, it felt a little like one of these would get thrown in to illustrate her emotions, but not necessarily be treated with the amount if depth that it should. An example of a book that dealt with such things in a more well-rounded way is Conversations with Friends. Additionally, as someone who is very critical about triggering scenes and classifies most of popular media’s as trauma porn, I can’t say I finished the book completely able to justify the use of each one in relation to the characterisation. The last one in particular did feel like overkill and like it was more there to make a comment on that type of behaviour than to fit well with the protagonist’s progression.
As always with these books, narrators throw around big statements about how people richer than them get X Y and Z, and how they are so underprivileged, but then with no self-awareness go and do something only a very privileged person with parents’ money can do. With Boy Parts, it was at least acknowledged that the protagonist’s parents pay some of her rent. This is why Boy Parts was amazing, it lays everything out on the table and lets you figure out the protagonist’s hypocrisy on your own. With Insatiable, it tried to make money a main theme, while also living an upper class life and having things like parents paying for a wedding. Insatiable is on the low self awareness end of the spectrum of course, and had a way less critical view of the protagonist’s flaws. Now Acts of Desperation does mention upper middle class parents, but the whining about other irresponsible people getting nepotism jobs brought the self awareness back down (wow who would have thought that being irresponsible without having any back up plan would put you in this position? Totally the fault of the guy who has a job and was irresponsible knowing he would have it anyway) then, the protagonist did work full time for a while, making it understandable that she could afford flights and some time off for a foreign country. But then to live in that country for six months without speaking the language? It’s obvious that there is some support from parents but it’s not acknowledged which irked me. Of course, acknowledging it would interfere with the victim narrative, but this was disappointing because by that point it felt as if the character had laid out all her flaws with honesty already. It felt like regressing.
I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand the realistic two sides of a toxic relationship, without getting a clean perfect dichotomy of hero vs villain, BUT is sure they are okay with reading the topics that are possibly triggering.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Rape, Self harm, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Addiction and Mental illness
woodiefrog's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
Sad-girl core like Sally Rooney’s books, but with even less to say about what’s behind the desperation whole generation(s; always there are some, but particularly in the west after 2nd wave of feminist movement) of white women gravitate towards.
Is it “raw and honest”? We who did not live the lives nor knew what went behind the keyboard tapping or even diary keeping, who are we to judge? Personally I am perpetually fascinated by my drive to understand the seeking of degradation and erotified romance/sexually suffering, the history both personal and social that caused it. At once I am also slightly unmoored by the seemingly rise of popularity (or perhaps, undiminished? There’s Girl, Interrupted long ago after all) of this type of fiction, straddling along the literary and genre in terms of audience, with main characters in their early 20s always white and women and in desperate need of therapy but instead the fiction leads us to see them “transform” through romance, upswing or down to hell.
I think someone on Goodreads mentioned pejoratively Fleabag in starting this “trend.” While I understand the sentiment, I think Fleabag is an examination of this genre, this “aesthetic.” Fleabag does no more seek her suffering than hoping against memories and her past (which is still very much alive in her necessities to be around her family). A lot of central conflicts within the characters arises and revolves around Fleabag’s relationship with women, rather than with men. But as this book demonstrates, “at a glance” is all it matters to a great deal of audience at times. Not all experience warrants any meaningful explanation or links to the larger experience beyond one’s own victimhood.
Is it “raw and honest”? We who did not live the lives nor knew what went behind the keyboard tapping or even diary keeping, who are we to judge? Personally I am perpetually fascinated by my drive to understand the seeking of degradation and erotified romance/sexually suffering, the history both personal and social that caused it. At once I am also slightly unmoored by the seemingly rise of popularity (or perhaps, undiminished? There’s Girl, Interrupted long ago after all) of this type of fiction, straddling along the literary and genre in terms of audience, with main characters in their early 20s always white and women and in desperate need of therapy but instead the fiction leads us to see them “transform” through romance, upswing or down to hell.
I think someone on Goodreads mentioned pejoratively Fleabag in starting this “trend.” While I understand the sentiment, I think Fleabag is an examination of this genre, this “aesthetic.” Fleabag does no more seek her suffering than hoping against memories and her past (which is still very much alive in her necessities to be around her family). A lot of central conflicts within the characters arises and revolves around Fleabag’s relationship with women, rather than with men. But as this book demonstrates, “at a glance” is all it matters to a great deal of audience at times. Not all experience warrants any meaningful explanation or links to the larger experience beyond one’s own victimhood.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Sexual assault, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Body shaming and Eating disorder
gabriellegoldenhour's review
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
I recently found out that a new favorite genre of mine is “delulu females”, I thought this would be another but really it just gave me haunting reflections of my past. Not everything was the same, obviously, but feelings and scenarios of my youth in similar situations mirrored this unnamed narrator. I feel like when I started really liking the book it fell off and just stayed flat for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Grief, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
cecereads__'s review against another edition
4.25
Intense is the first word that comes to mind to describe this book. It’s hauntingly confronting and matter-of-fact almost in its portrayal of a toxic relationship. How obsessive, toxic, desperate and altering an experience the main character goes through.
I think it’s very well done how we get insights on her past and way of reasoning with herself. Especially, there’s a scene near the end of the book that I will be haunted by for a while.
- I found it difficult to rate this tbh, but my rating is based on the story-telling and brutal honesty of it rather than the connection to the characters (not that they have to be likeable), if that makes sense
I think it’s very well done how we get insights on her past and way of reasoning with herself. Especially, there’s a scene near the end of the book that I will be haunted by for a while.
- I found it difficult to rate this tbh, but my rating is based on the story-telling and brutal honesty of it rather than the connection to the characters (not that they have to be likeable), if that makes sense
Content Warnings
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Rape, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, and Abandonment
ninahuynh's review
Desperately tried to find the will to continue on; no longer spark any joy from this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Stalking, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
ola_oreiba's review against another edition
challenging
dark
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.5
I should’ve know from the name but I could never imagine for the life of me that someone could be so desperate. It was so jarring to read and I’ve never been this verbally furious at a protagonist before.
Reading Acts of Desperation felt like someone with ADHD that has to sit though someone telling them a bad story ever so slowly, it triggers all their senses and turns into pure rage.
At times, I really wanted to sympathize with her and there were a couple of paragraphs and moments/thoughts towards the end that I vaguely agreed with but it couldn’t justify the prolonged and continued suffering for nothing.
It annoyed me how the story was chaotic but predictable at the same time although I cannot fault the writing stylistically. It’s just the whole idea of the book is just pushing how desperate someone can be and how deep into desperation they can go and I think in that sense Megan Nolan is a completionist. Nobody can be more desperate.
Reading Acts of Desperation felt like someone with ADHD that has to sit though someone telling them a bad story ever so slowly, it triggers all their senses and turns into pure rage.
At times, I really wanted to sympathize with her and there were a couple of paragraphs and moments/thoughts towards the end that I vaguely agreed with but it couldn’t justify the prolonged and continued suffering for nothing.
It annoyed me how the story was chaotic but predictable at the same time although I cannot fault the writing stylistically. It’s just the whole idea of the book is just pushing how desperate someone can be and how deep into desperation they can go and I think in that sense Megan Nolan is a completionist. Nobody can be more desperate.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
frostedpetals's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Infidelity, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Alcohol
Moderate: Drug use and Eating disorder
Minor: Vomit
estella44's review
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
I found in this book a shared culture of female identity. There were phrases or passages that struck me in a way because I felt that all women in particular could relate. I was reading a story about someone and their lives; someone who I personally had no connection with (I don't live in the same city, share the same habit, or have the same connections). Yet the feelings expressed, the experiences with men at times, and the inner most thoughts, all seemed to resonate with me. I've found myself in situations similar, or I've had feelings similar. I know I didn't love this book, but I know it was something I didn't regret reading. Following this woman on her journey of life, love, self, etc. felt like camaraderie of sorts.
Quotes I loved:
"I was not without value, but the value I held was not the kind I wanted to hold, and I did not know how to exchange it."
"In fact, I wanted to want them, would have loved to live a life like that. Or rather I would have loved to appear to live a life like that. All the things that Lisa did for her own genuine pleasure were things I thought looked good, things I didn’t want for their own sake. I thought a life that looked that way– clean and gentle and high- minded– would get me what I truly wanted, which was to do with having as much of people as possible, their attention, their desire, their curiosity."
Quotes I loved:
"I was not without value, but the value I held was not the kind I wanted to hold, and I did not know how to exchange it."
"In fact, I wanted to want them, would have loved to live a life like that. Or rather I would have loved to appear to live a life like that. All the things that Lisa did for her own genuine pleasure were things I thought looked good, things I didn’t want for their own sake. I thought a life that looked that way– clean and gentle and high- minded– would get me what I truly wanted, which was to do with having as much of people as possible, their attention, their desire, their curiosity."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Emotional abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Body horror, Body shaming, Eating disorder, and Sexual violence