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addythebookbat's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
tense
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror, Cancer, Violence, Death, Gore, Grief, Torture, Cannibalism, Murder, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Injury/Injury detail, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship
nithya_natalya's review against another edition
dark
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
I have no idea what I just read, and I loved it! I read this so fast, and was just utterly mesmerized by it. The prose was really beautiful without holding on to any lit fic pretensions. It still felt solidly rooted in genre fic. I really wasn't sure where this was going. I love horror that feel cyclical. It's so creepy and haunting, and this book pulled that off well. The structure of the book was an interesting approach, and a great way to break up the novella within the novel, and leave you with cliffhangers. The only thing I didn't like were the the transcripts of phone recordings. It felt like kind of a wacky, unrealistic way to get the killers' actual voices into the text, and didn't quite make sense to me. Who records themselves having convos, and then records their inner thoughts during the conversation over the original audio after the fact? Can you even do that on a phone? Was he using audio editing software on his laptop??!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Vomit, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Medical trauma, Torture, Violence, Abandonment, Murder, and Body horror
Moderate: Death of parent, Alcohol, Car accident, and Blood
dosxhime's review against another edition
challenging
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Body horror, Death, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Blood, Animal death, Murder, Rape, Sexual assault, Torture, Toxic relationship, and Violence
blackcatkai's review against another edition
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
CW: body horror, violence, murder, mentions of a form of sexual assault (not super graphic), death (adult, child, animal mentioned), blood, mentions of sexual assault, animal cruelty (one scene), suicidal thoughts, toxic relationship, sexual content, gore, torture
I was first introduced to LaRocca as an author via his contribution to the short story collection The Book Of Queer Saints put together by Mae Murray. His was one of my absolute favourite additions to the collection and i was excited to read more, longer, works from him.
this is essentially a character study through a horror story that interweaves another story within it that mirrors the framing device pretty fucking well imo. the ending is pretty open so you can come to your own conclusions about a couple of aspects so if you like a more neatly tied bow in your novel endings, probably skip this one. this was dark, upsetting, and a bit gross. i liked how the two stories were mostly separate until you get to the end and realise what you'd been reading the whole time and what it essentially may mean. i like how the two mirrored each other and that the framing device was more a character study of an individual while the story within that was more plot focused. a little bit of both of these worked well for me but may not for others.
i want to go a bit into what could be considered spoiler territory when it comes to what i overall enjoyed in the story so consider this the end of my main review.
alright, maybe i am wrong in my reading of this one, but this is my interpretation, essentially.
i liked the back & forth with ambrose & martyr, especially the bits where they talk on stories, horror, & a couple movies. these conversations tell you just about exactly whats going on here: that not all horror is meant to scare, simply to upset, that it depends on the reader. that people will prefer dread that is about what you dont see while others will prefer what you DO. they even talk about what is or isnt plagiarism, and then in the end, when you discovery martyr & ambrose truly know nothing about each other because all martyr is is what hes taken from others. that its part of why he kills? fucking genius.
the novella within follows a sister and her brother as she gets a job with a gaming company. this story touches on the idea that violent video games create violent people. they don't in real life (ive been a gamer the majority of my current 35 years and i can show you studies that come out every year that show no correlation between video games and the creation of violence in kids or adults.), but i love how LaRocca plays with the idea of "but what if they did>" what if someone created a game, a simulation, a machine, that takes from the player and replaces them with a replicated machine, itself? sound familiar? martyer is the machine. his victims are the players of the simulation. his killing of them is the victims experiencing the simulation and martyr is replacing them with himself afterwards.
this novella is meant to be a work of fiction BY martyr that he had published but, but the end, you see it never was at all. ambrose discovers him writing these things & realises he stole it from a victim. that he steals all his writing & personality, his entire self, from those he kills. and therein lies the open ending. did ambrose dispose of martyr after this realisation? did ambrose publish the novella in martyr's name after the fact then leave all the recordings and writings for the authorities to find later? we may not ever truly know, but that's how i feel it went down.
i can not wait to read more of LaRocca's work. i'll probably even read this one again and again.
I was first introduced to LaRocca as an author via his contribution to the short story collection The Book Of Queer Saints put together by Mae Murray. His was one of my absolute favourite additions to the collection and i was excited to read more, longer, works from him.
this is essentially a character study through a horror story that interweaves another story within it that mirrors the framing device pretty fucking well imo. the ending is pretty open so you can come to your own conclusions about a couple of aspects so if you like a more neatly tied bow in your novel endings, probably skip this one. this was dark, upsetting, and a bit gross. i liked how the two stories were mostly separate until you get to the end and realise what you'd been reading the whole time and what it essentially may mean. i like how the two mirrored each other and that the framing device was more a character study of an individual while the story within that was more plot focused. a little bit of both of these worked well for me but may not for others.
i want to go a bit into what could be considered spoiler territory when it comes to what i overall enjoyed in the story so consider this the end of my main review.
i liked the back & forth with ambrose & martyr, especially the bits where they talk on stories, horror, & a couple movies. these conversations tell you just about exactly whats going on here: that not all horror is meant to scare, simply to upset, that it depends on the reader. that people will prefer dread that is about what you dont see while others will prefer what you DO. they even talk about what is or isnt plagiarism, and then in the end, when you discovery martyr & ambrose truly know nothing about each other because all martyr is is what hes taken from others. that its part of why he kills? fucking genius.
the novella within follows a sister and her brother as she gets a job with a gaming company. this story touches on the idea that violent video games create violent people. they don't in real life (ive been a gamer the majority of my current 35 years and i can show you studies that come out every year that show no correlation between video games and the creation of violence in kids or adults.), but i love how LaRocca plays with the idea of "but what if they did>" what if someone created a game, a simulation, a machine, that takes from the player and replaces them with a replicated machine, itself? sound familiar? martyer is the machine. his victims are the players of the simulation. his killing of them is the victims experiencing the simulation and martyr is replacing them with himself afterwards.
this novella is meant to be a work of fiction BY martyr that he had published but, but the end, you see it never was at all. ambrose discovers him writing these things & realises he stole it from a victim. that he steals all his writing & personality, his entire self, from those he kills. and therein lies the open ending. did ambrose dispose of martyr after this realisation? did ambrose publish the novella in martyr's name after the fact then leave all the recordings and writings for the authorities to find later? we may not ever truly know, but that's how i feel it went down.
i can not wait to read more of LaRocca's work. i'll probably even read this one again and again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Torture, Toxic relationship, Gore, Violence, Child death, Death, Blood, and Body horror
Moderate: Animal cruelty and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Sexual assault and Sexual content
hocuscrocus's review
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror, Sexual content, Blood, Murder, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Alcohol, Violence, and Cursing
Moderate: Alcoholism and Death of parent
Minor: Cancer and Medical content
chloseencounter's review
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
This was my second novel by Eric LaRocca and I was pleasantly surprised by it. I had read Things Have Gotten Worse Since we Last Spoke previously and didn’t really care for it but I picked this one up regardless just because I love the cover, I was pleased to have really enjoyed it. You’ve Lost a lot of Blood was a collection of poems, transcribed audio recordings, and journal entries written by a serial killer, intertwined with a short storycalled “You’ve Lost a lot of Blood.” The short story was easily my favorite part, I enjoyed that bit so much that the rest was just icing on the cake. This book was weird and different though I can definitely understand why it maybe would not be your cup of tea if you’re looking for something with a more concrete plot. As someone who reads a lot of horror, I always love to pick up something unexpected, so if you’re looking for a story unlike anything you’ve read before with some stunning visuals and gnarly body horror, I think you’d enjoy this. I personally had such a fun time reading!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Blood, Toxic relationship, Violence, Body horror, Death, Gore, and Murder
cutelilcryptid's review
dark
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
First, I want to say that I was SO READY to like this book. I picked it up in a bookstore with no context (I haven't read Larocca's previous work and knew little about it, despite the TikTok hype). I read the Introduction and thought that reading the collected writings of a fictional murderer would be AWESOME. Even though I knew it was fiction, I bought into the concept entirely and I was HYPED to read it.
...and that's where the excitement stopped. I'm not going to whine about content. Shoving toothpicks in people's ears? Daydreaming about how you'd kill your boyfriend? Masturbating on cancer patients? Cyborg cunnilingus? Fine, whatever. I signed up for weird shit when I chose to read a book in this genre. The actual reasons for my discontent are outlined below.
1. Have I mentioned that I love the concept of this book? The concept is that this collection of dialogue, poetry, and novella chapters were written by a serial killer, Martyr Black, and has been published in order to "shed light" on his crimes, victims, and possibly give hints to where he's disappeared to. I was 100% ready to take a highlighter to this book and make a whole ass conspiracy theory pinboard trying to connect the dots and piece together everything he did, where he disappeared to, and why he left. There's this tendency with writing, especially with poetry, to try to conflate the narrative voice with the voice of the writer themselves and view all poetry as autobiographical (*cough*Sylvia Plath*cough*), and I thought this book was going to provide some really interesting commentary on that idea. Which leads to my next point:
2. The ending "plot twist" totally fumbled the entire concept for the book (I use "plot twist" in the loosest sense, this book has no real plot beyond what I already stated). At the end of the book you find out that MARTYR BLACK PLAGIARIZED EVERYTHING FROM HIS VICTIMS. With the exception of the dialogues recorded on his phone, the poems and the ENTIRE NOVELLA were stolen from people he murdered. So any REAL attempts to piece the mystery of Martyr Black together through his writing is an utter fucking waste because HE DIDN'T WRITE IT. While this might provide interesting commentary on the "haha this is why you shouldn't treat people's writing as autobiographical" idea I mentioned earlier, the real reason I hate it is because it effectively shirks all responsibility for the established concept.
Remember how I said I was ready to take a highlighter to this and go crazy connecting dots trying to figure out who Martyr is and why he did what he did? The ending renders that effectively impossible, because it's not actually written by Martyr. As a reader, I felt this was a cheap and lazy ploy. It would be much more difficult, after all, to craft a self-contained anthology that, bit by bit, reveals more and more about the writer and how his dark obsessions lead to hideous acts. Instead we get "hee hoo the whole thing was stolen anyway". It's the equivalent of getting to the end of the book and the main character wakes up in bed and says "Wow, what a strange dream". I was pissed.
ONE MAJOR PROBLEM with this ending: if this is an anthology of "stolen" poetry, there are still way too many thematic and stylistic connections between different works. One of the poems mentions "Holy Eucharist" and there's a later poems is titled "Eucharist". The same poem is also titled "I Search for You Until My Lungs Sprout Metal" and the ENTIRE NOVELLA is about people being infested by machines. These are just a few examples I can think of off hand and I'm sure there's plenty more. There also just seems to be little effort put into differentiating the works from one another stylistically (you know, the way they would be if all written by different people). Like, the book isn't even properly selling the "this was all plagiarism" concept that well. It's infuriating.
3. Purely as prose, the writing itself is quite good. Larocca's use of language is exquisite and masterful--to say anything less because I didn't like the end of the book would be discrediting him. The poetry is think is a little less inspired--it just seems like regular prose from anywhere else in the book with some line breaks tossed in. Good poetry is not just prose with line breaks, and I will die on that hill.
...and that's where the excitement stopped. I'm not going to whine about content. Shoving toothpicks in people's ears? Daydreaming about how you'd kill your boyfriend? Masturbating on cancer patients? Cyborg cunnilingus? Fine, whatever. I signed up for weird shit when I chose to read a book in this genre. The actual reasons for my discontent are outlined below.
1. Have I mentioned that I love the concept of this book? The concept is that this collection of dialogue, poetry, and novella chapters were written by a serial killer, Martyr Black, and has been published in order to "shed light" on his crimes, victims, and possibly give hints to where he's disappeared to. I was 100% ready to take a highlighter to this book and make a whole ass conspiracy theory pinboard trying to connect the dots and piece together everything he did, where he disappeared to, and why he left. There's this tendency with writing, especially with poetry, to try to conflate the narrative voice with the voice of the writer themselves and view all poetry as autobiographical (*cough*Sylvia Plath*cough*), and I thought this book was going to provide some really interesting commentary on that idea. Which leads to my next point:
2. The ending "plot twist" totally fumbled the entire concept for the book (I use "plot twist" in the loosest sense, this book has no real plot beyond what I already stated). At the end of the book you find out that
Remember how I said I was ready to take a highlighter to this and go crazy connecting dots trying to figure out who Martyr is and why he did what he did? The ending renders that effectively impossible, because it's not actually written by Martyr. As a reader, I felt this was a cheap and lazy ploy. It would be much more difficult, after all, to craft a self-contained anthology that, bit by bit, reveals more and more about the writer and how his dark obsessions lead to hideous acts. Instead we get "hee hoo the whole thing was stolen anyway". It's the equivalent of getting to the end of the book and the main character wakes up in bed and says "Wow, what a strange dream". I was pissed.
ONE MAJOR PROBLEM with this ending: if this is an anthology of "stolen" poetry, there are still way too many thematic and stylistic connections between different works. One of the poems mentions "Holy Eucharist" and there's a later poems is titled "Eucharist". The same poem is also titled "I Search for You Until My Lungs Sprout Metal" and the ENTIRE NOVELLA is about people being infested by machines. These are just a few examples I can think of off hand and I'm sure there's plenty more. There also just seems to be little effort put into differentiating the works from one another stylistically (you know, the way they would be if all written by different people). Like, the book isn't even properly selling the "this was all plagiarism" concept that well. It's infuriating.
3. Purely as prose, the writing itself is quite good. Larocca's use of language is exquisite and masterful--to say anything less because I didn't like the end of the book would be discrediting him. The poetry is think is a little less inspired--it just seems like regular prose from anywhere else in the book with some line breaks tossed in. Good poetry is not just prose with line breaks, and I will die on that hill.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Gore, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Sexual content, Torture, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Body horror, Cancer, Death, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, and Violence
I tried adding as many trigger warnings as I could remember, but honestly probably missed some. (Also idk how to tag some, like the whole "consenting to sexual activity until finding out she's a cyborg" deal.) It's basically purposely written to be disturbing and fulfills no other purpose.ambient's review
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
at first i didn’t think this was for me after hearing the summary, i was just thinking of reading the first chapter, but then i enjoyed it n decided why not? it’s short n fits the october mood
and for the most part it isn’t a book usual for me, but i read this book in one sitting while i was in a bit of a reading slump so idk
i actually was more invested in martyr’s story and was meh on the book within the book — at least in the beginning
then i got a little attached to the sibling dynamic, the mystery(?), n the ending of the book within the book, n i rlly liked it!
then there were ambrose and martyr’s back n forth conversations which i got slightly annoyed at, it wasn’t even that what they were discussing was uninteresting, just the discussions felt kinda weak? out of nowhere, n a little pointless too
oh and ambrose was intentionally pretentious, but to me not in an interesting way, more like an edgy preteen way tht i couldn’t believe a full grown murderer (or accomplice) acts
the “real” story’s ending also wasn’t the strongest imo
and for the most part it isn’t a book usual for me, but i read this book in one sitting while i was in a bit of a reading slump so idk
i actually was more invested in martyr’s story and was meh on the book within the book — at least in the beginning
then i got a little attached to the sibling dynamic, the mystery(?), n the ending of the book within the book, n i rlly liked it!
then there were ambrose and martyr’s back n forth conversations which i got slightly annoyed at, it wasn’t even that what they were discussing was uninteresting, just the discussions felt kinda weak? out of nowhere, n a little pointless too
the “real” story’s ending also wasn’t the strongest imo
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror
Moderate: Toxic relationship
Minor: Alcoholism
sunsetcity's review
dark
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror, Child death, Toxic relationship, Torture, Violence, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Gore, Medical content, Kidnapping, Confinement, Death, Murder, Sexual content, Toxic friendship, and Death of parent
jackalopecore's review against another edition
dark
emotional
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Body horror, Toxic relationship, and Murder
Moderate: Abandonment, Pedophilia, and Vomit