Reviews tagging 'Bullying'

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

54 reviews

zoiejanelle's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective fast-paced

4.5

with the context that i am a huge maintenance phase fan, i must rate this 4.5 stars instead of 5 simply because i felt that 80% of the book was a retelling of past maintenance phase episodes. i have learned so much from Aubrey Gordon and i am still so glad to have read this book. i really appreciate the personal anecdotes that served as the through line for the entire book, and i found a handful of chapters to be extremely informative and new. 

good elements: 
the sections on feminist theory, race, and government intervention were the redeeming qualities for me. i felt like i had really clear takeaways from these sections that i could reflect on and use to better myself/work on my internal struggles with anti-fatness and racism. the final chapter was extremely reflective and hopeful, though, despite the insurmountable and overwhelming evidence of anti-fatness in our culture that is explained throughout the book. i felt that this work was an actionable, interesting, affirming, and informative read overall. 

not so good elements: 
i believe she harped on the Body Positivity movement a LITTLE too much, but i understood why the angle was important. i also felt that her perspective skewed very left-leaning, which is not a bad thing in and of itself, but if this book was supposed to be accessible and introductory to all readers, it would definitely lose the more conservative (specifically anti-regulation) crowd simply from implicit bias. i wanted to dive a little deeper into why government intervention and regulation are important considerations and what that looks like EXACTLY, but i realize that those subjects may be better explored in another book. 

i would still recommend this book to anyone just starting out in their fat liberation journey! 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Fatphobia, Bullying, and Body shaming

Moderate: Sexual harassment, Chronic illness, Medical content, Medical trauma, Sexism, Mental illness, Gaslighting, Cancer, Sexual violence, and Toxic friendship

lipstickitotheman's review against another edition

emotional hopeful informative

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, Body shaming, Medical content, Medical trauma, Sexual harassment, and Fatphobia

dragon_s_hoard's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative reflective sad slow-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Sexual harassment, Racism, Self harm, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Toxic friendship, Sexism, Sexual assault, Body shaming, Child abuse, Fatphobia, Sexual violence, Ableism, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Bullying, Eating disorder, Medical content, Misogyny, and Pandemic/Epidemic

Moderate: Chronic illness, Lesbophobia, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Police brutality, Classism, Transphobia, and Biphobia

cassie7e's review against another edition

dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad slow-paced

4.0

A thorough introduction to anti-fat bias and it's effects for those just starting to learn about it, and a great refresher or expansion for those more familiar with the topic. Gordon interweaves anecdotes (see CW below), statistics, and criticisms with a personal and intersectional lens that acknowledges the nuances of experiences and situations. **CW for abuse, discrimination, sexual harrasment, etc.

She ends by envisioning a world that lets bodies be bodies, and all the things we must accept and advocate for for true bodily autonomy of all kinds, for all people. A lot of people complain she doesn't tell us how to get there, or complain she over-recommends banning things. We shouldn't be relying on one person to give us the solutions to overhaul a whole system so I find both complaints irrelevant. The vision is inspiring, not prescriptive.

I especially appreciated the discussion of the body positivity movement's failure of inclusion, and the way thinner people frame it as a matter of insecurity and self perception, whereas fat people's problem isn't internal at all, it's the daily systemic and personal oppression they face in a world made for smaller bodies. This focus on self love serves the individualism encouraged by capitalism to avoid systemic change and accountability, and refuses to require a change in how people treat others, only themselves.

There are a few times when information is repeated, but as most people probably don't sit down and read a nonfiction book in one sitting, it's probably fine. Just caught my ear listening straight through the audiobook.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Fatphobia, Medical trauma, Body shaming, and Bullying

Moderate: Sexual harassment and Eating disorder

Minor: Sexual assault and Sexual violence

genesismt's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative

5.0

"We will need to retrain ourselves to understand a new, compassionate set of principles that can guide our actions: ...That fatness is not failure and, subsequently, that thinness is not an accomplishment. The size of our bodies is largely beyond our control, and even in the few occasions when it isn't, thinness cannot be a prerequisite for basic respect, dignity, provision of services, or meeting basic needs like getting a job or finding food."

This was so informative and so important!! I feel like this should be required reading...Gordon is a white person, so it is also crucial to include Black and Latinx fat voices in these conversations, but from her perspective she addresses the ways in which fat bias is deeply entrenched in our society and the consequences of weight discrimination on fat individuals. The fact that medications are not as effective for people who are overweight and obese makes me so mad!! Diets literally fail 98% of the time but it is something that is constantly encouraged for people as well, even children, which is heartbreaking. Gordon also addresses the racist origins of the BMI, the exclusion of fat bodies in the body positivity movement and so much more. As the average person's size continues to increase, it is adamant that we address anti-fat violence, and move a step forward from body neutrality and acceptance. I learned so much and related to some of the points discussed, even though I am not a plus sized person, especially when it comes to conversations coming from places of "concern" for my health. As I try to unlearn my own fat bias and have these conversations with my family, it can be difficult but it is important. Highly recommend!!

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Violence, Bullying, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Medical content, Sexual violence, Mental illness, Medical trauma, Body shaming, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment

ashwaar's review against another edition

challenging informative medium-paced

3.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Eating disorder, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Fatphobia, Misogyny, and Bullying

Moderate: Sexual harassment and Sexual assault

Minor: Homophobia and Toxic friendship

entiresunset's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

A must read for everyone. Cannot recommend this enough. I learned so much by reading this book and am now able to tackle my own internalised anti-fat bias and weight stigma and to start my own healing process.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Fatphobia and Bullying

Moderate: Eating disorder, Sexual harassment, Medical trauma, and Transphobia

Minor: Sexual assault and Rape

tiernanhunter's review

challenging informative inspiring fast-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Eating disorder, Medical trauma, Body shaming, Bullying, Fatphobia, Grief, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Toxic friendship and Medical content

hwills5's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Bullying, Fatphobia, Body shaming, Sexual harassment, and Eating disorder

Minor: Domestic abuse, Body shaming, Ableism, and Medical trauma

stevia333k's review

informative inspiring tense

4.5

This is a good book when I'm trying to get a different angle on conversion torture because this book is geared for the intersection of fat activism & feminism. i recommend this book. basically, screw the myth of willpower. i would say the book is scary with its descriptions of street harassment & assault, but there's a sort of horror of oppression that's alluded to but not explicitly gotten to, even though there is a lot of connections talked about throughout the book. that being said i'm adding these next 2 paragraphs in order to help synthesize what i got from this book with other information i've seen, especially since i haven't read like academic journals about fat rights, fat liberation, fat studies, etc. while i have marked it with spoiler formatting, please note that i have added information that are from other sources.

That being said, I feel like the book has a lot of emphasis on hatred against fat people, when i noticed that a lot of the bullying i faced in school was connected to people trying to assimilate & suck up to the teachers. it's the trying to get closer to enclosured power as opposed to breaking that privatization & getting it distributed equitably.

like there's 2 things i think of at least: the military wanting a one-size-fits-all outfit to make gear standardized (they ended up having to make 3 sizes), and how fatness is used to play into desireability politics to cover up how white patriarchs raped black perceived-females. like, i sense those were meant to be simmering in the background, (we literally started out with how fatphobia is connected to militarism, and how fatphobia is compared to an "epidemic" like how bourgeois depictions of famine refugees as zombies & "great replacement" canard works with settler colonizers. but again, these are left lower-key.)

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Chronic illness, Hate crime, Sexual harassment, Transphobia, Forced institutionalization, Sexual assault, War, Ableism, Body shaming, Fatphobia, Grief, Stalking, Violence, Bullying, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Rape, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Gaslighting, Sexual violence, Medical content, Racism, and Sexism