Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

8 reviews

maddramaqueen's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

This book rocks.  Literally everyone should at least try to read it.  I recognize that it can be triggering, and it was for me, but especially for straight-size people who have not experienced anti-fat bias on a societal level this is absolutely necessary.  Even as a fat person myself I learned so much about the violence facing those fatter than me that I was entirely unaware of.

If you can't handle the topics covered, I fully understand.  I'm in eating disorder recovery myself and this topic was triggering for me.  But the final chapter is one of the greatest pieces of activist writing I've ever read and I think everyone should read that chapter *at least*.  

Thank you so much for writing this, Aubrey Gordon.  It will be an oft recommended book in my future.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Medical trauma, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexism, Hate crime, Medical content, Misogyny, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Fatphobia, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Ableism, Chronic illness, Drug use, Death, Child abuse, Dysphoria, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Classism, Eating disorder, Domestic abuse, Rape, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racism, Colonisation, Transphobia, Toxic friendship, Drug abuse, Stalking, and Terminal illness

mads_jpg's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective medium-paced

4.75

I started the audiobook of this and immediately switched to reading a physical copy so I could annotate the hell out of it because it's written so well! 

I went into this book thinking I had a good grip on the general ideas behind body positivity/neutrality and harmful beauty standards but man, the situation is so much worse than I could have ever imagined. Gordon's research combined with her personal experiences are truly eye-opening. I even read the section about planes while on one, and it made me view the situation in an entirely new light. 

Another one to add to the list of "should be mandatory reading for all human beings".

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Classism, Death, Bullying, Medical trauma, Toxic friendship, Ableism, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Sexual harassment, Fatphobia, Medical content, and Eating disorder

Moderate: Rape, Sexual assault, Violence, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Transphobia

tree_branch's review against another edition

challenging informative medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Fatphobia, Body shaming, and Bullying

Minor: Sexual harassment, Emotional abuse, Dysphoria, Violence, Sexual violence, Rape, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, and Eating disorder

zoiejanelle's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective fast-paced

4.5

with the context that i am a huge maintenance phase fan, i must rate this 4.5 stars instead of 5 simply because i felt that 80% of the book was a retelling of past maintenance phase episodes. i have learned so much from Aubrey Gordon and i am still so glad to have read this book. i really appreciate the personal anecdotes that served as the through line for the entire book, and i found a handful of chapters to be extremely informative and new. 

good elements: 
the sections on feminist theory, race, and government intervention were the redeeming qualities for me. i felt like i had really clear takeaways from these sections that i could reflect on and use to better myself/work on my internal struggles with anti-fatness and racism. the final chapter was extremely reflective and hopeful, though, despite the insurmountable and overwhelming evidence of anti-fatness in our culture that is explained throughout the book. i felt that this work was an actionable, interesting, affirming, and informative read overall. 

not so good elements: 
i believe she harped on the Body Positivity movement a LITTLE too much, but i understood why the angle was important. i also felt that her perspective skewed very left-leaning, which is not a bad thing in and of itself, but if this book was supposed to be accessible and introductory to all readers, it would definitely lose the more conservative (specifically anti-regulation) crowd simply from implicit bias. i wanted to dive a little deeper into why government intervention and regulation are important considerations and what that looks like EXACTLY, but i realize that those subjects may be better explored in another book. 

i would still recommend this book to anyone just starting out in their fat liberation journey! 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Fatphobia, Bullying, and Body shaming

Moderate: Sexual harassment, Chronic illness, Medical content, Medical trauma, Sexism, Mental illness, Gaslighting, Cancer, Sexual violence, and Toxic friendship

dragon_s_hoard's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative reflective sad slow-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Sexual harassment, Racism, Self harm, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Toxic friendship, Sexism, Sexual assault, Body shaming, Child abuse, Fatphobia, Sexual violence, Ableism, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Bullying, Eating disorder, Medical content, Misogyny, and Pandemic/Epidemic

Moderate: Chronic illness, Lesbophobia, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Police brutality, Classism, Transphobia, and Biphobia

ashwaar's review against another edition

challenging informative medium-paced

3.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Eating disorder, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Fatphobia, Misogyny, and Bullying

Moderate: Sexual harassment and Sexual assault

Minor: Homophobia and Toxic friendship

tiernanhunter's review

challenging informative inspiring fast-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Eating disorder, Medical trauma, Body shaming, Bullying, Fatphobia, Grief, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Toxic friendship and Medical content

marisa_n's review against another edition

emotional funny informative reflective medium-paced

3.0

I bought this book after listening to every episode of Gordon's podcast, Maintenence Phase. Similar to the podcast, this book is a combination of research and personal anecdotes about anti-fat bias. I appreciated Gordon's vulnerability in sharing her story. I also loved that she brought up research & necessary policy changes. Rather than making it an internal "love yourself" problem, the book dives into the ways larger bodies are objectified, politicized, and discriminated against. Lastly, I appreciated the opportunity to think more deeply about potential personal biases & the changes needed to an unjust system. 

Unfortunately, I don't think this book quite captures the magic of her podcast. Although the content of this book is very similar ( at times so overlapping it felt reptitive), the organization, the tone, and the performance are just okay. I prefer the laughing, exasperated, "methodology queen" in the podcast.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Fatphobia, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Eating disorder, and Body shaming