Reviews with content warning for Domestic abuse - Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir

I feel like I would listen to Ashley Ford tell me any story from her life; there is something so approachable and personable about her writing. Ford tackles all the tough stuff but never makes you feel like she’s waxing poetic; she speaks to the grittiness of these moments while also writing beautiful prose. An incredibly rough read at times, because she does such a phenomenal job of making you feel like you are right next to here through her whole childhood, through her assault and as she recovers her sense of self in young adulthood.

The most riveting theme here is how Ford lays out the sexualization young women, particularly young Black women face before they are even allowed to fully understand their own bodies. It just makes me think there are so many horrifying and unique ways to have a marginalized body; it feels like so many people can never really escape the oppression their culture heaps on them from just their presentation.

An undercurrent in this discussion about abuse against Black girls is how her family, especially the women in her family, talk about “believing” their children and how much can get in the way of that when reality strikes. The cycles of violence in her family are obvious and explain, but don’t excuse, some of the angering reactions of her mother. But it also feels like these cycles exist in the community at large, in her father’s crime, in how incarceration becomes a scar on a whole family, in spousal and child abuse, in a lack of economic resource and the failure of educational support. All of this is very heavy and Ford has written a piece about the structures that should have held her back and continue to hold others back. Even if her intent was just to write her life, as it happened, obviously, this memoir is saying more about larger systemic injustice and stereotyping.

I do think at times, the heavy subject matter feels inescapable and a little …doom and gloom. But I’m not sure if it’s a memoir’s job to suggest solutions for our wider system. Clearly Ashley has come into herself and understands more about her place in her family’s universe. And I think it is enough to hear a new voice, giving a single example of how to navigate a lot of pain. It likely won’t be how every person would do it, but I am glad to see a story like this shared. I highly recommend this one, I feel like the whole way through, it was a knockout.

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dr_aimz's review

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challenging emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

3.0

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merryfaith's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective medium-paced

4.5

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madelinedalton's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective sad medium-paced

3.5

Unfortunately, I had a really hard time focusing when reading this book. I felt like I was missing out on an objectively great memoir, and I wanted so badly to like it. I'm not sure where this personal disconnect came from.

I also felt as though the central theme of the memoir, hinted by the title, was really lacking in exploration. When Ashley first found out about why her father was imprisoned, she was enraged. And then, a few chapters later, she was all grown up and had a positive experience visiting him in prison for the first time in many years. What happened in between those two emotional states? How did she get there? It just felt a bit jarring to me. I was expecting the memoir to cover her relationship with her father most, but instead, it primarily focused on her relationships with her mother and grandmother. That's all great--there was some interesting stuff in there--but it surprised me given the way she initially set up the book.

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hannahkosel's review against another edition

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challenging reflective sad slow-paced

3.0

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