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tellingetienne's review
I was wary of the premise of this book and I should have listened to myself and not picked it up.
I got 1/3 of the way in and there was a conversation the was basically misgendering and then correction, and then a lack of understanding followed up by a kiss? And it just made my skin crawl.
I got 1/3 of the way in and there was a conversation the was basically misgendering and then correction, and then a lack of understanding followed up by a kiss? And it just made my skin crawl.
iam's review
2.0
I actually disliked this less than expected given all the other reviews and stuff I've read about this.
I do think that Hopeless Romantic has a great setup and handles many important topics that are not common in the genre, but the way some things were handled and the combination of it all wasn't great.
My main issue with this book was Nick, the protagonist. He's impossible. I can't even 100% describe what about him bothered me so much, but the way he behaved, what he said and his thoughts frequently made me speechless and extremely uncomfortable - all of that things that occured way before he learns that Katie, the love interest, is trans, and the subsequent mess.
Hopeless Romantic has several main topics:
One is that Nick falls in love with Katie, who is trans, which Nick knows very little about. He makes a lot of mistakes, saying and thinking things that hurt and misgender her. He also talks a lot with her and she corrects and calls him out a lot. Does Nick learn a lot? Yes, definitely. Does he always learn gracefuly? ... not really? He accepts what she says immediately and doesn't repeat mistakes directly, but somehow his "oh yeah sorry, I know" reactions felt a bit like he was brushing her off. I cannot tell if it was meant that way deliberately, but that was how it felt to me.
I do think that books about characters who are still learning about what it means to be trans and be with a trans person have their place, and can be very important - but in this specific case it felt like a wrong decision for the book.
Another big topic is that Nick realizes he's bisexual, when he identified as gay his entire life. The discovering bisexuality plotline isn't exactly new, but I have never read it from the perspective of someone who previously IDed as homosexual instead of hetero.
On it's own, that storyline I think is handled rather well. There are important conversations about bisexuality itself, and the whole "gay man falls for a woman" is handled very sensitively.
But.
Big but.
I find that storyline combined with how Nick treats Katie after she tells him she's trans.... not good.
Let me elaborate: The two of them meet by chance and after a while end up spending a long day together where they have a lots of fun. The entire day, Nick is very attracted to Katie, and very confused about why he is attracted to her given that she is a woman and he's a gay man. Later, as they talk, Katie brings up her being a trans woman - having assumed that Nick knew she was trans, which Nick hadn't. At no point previous to that does he even question her being cis (though I guess there are "hints" dropped for the reader - her voice cracks, she is pointed out to be tall, her hands are big but soft... which is a bit questionable in itself, but made worse by how awkward and unnatural the writing is at parts, especially when it comes to describing the characters). So when she tells him she's a trans woman.... Nick's first feeling is relief. Because "that explains why he, as a gay man, is attracted to her". Katie immediately calls him out on how wrong that kind of thinking is - that he is implying she is not really a woman - but.... god. It's just so uncomfortable. And combined with Nick having previously established himself as a huge asshole I really wasn't feeling it.
While talking about Nick being an asshole: Nick has a roommate, Tucker, who is a-spec (another minor thread is about Nick and Tucker's friendship). At some point Nick talks to his friends about Tucker, mentioning he might be asexual, to which his friends reply with "Ew". Nick replies with "Not ew, just different" and.... that's it. No further comments or thoughts are spared to this interaction that left me entirely speechless.
Nick's friends in general made me really uncomfortable, not just because one of them is a bigot and horrible in so many ways, but also how that makes Nick behave.
While Nick learns a lot over the course over the book, the first 20 % are really hard, and the improvements only really take place after the 50% mark. I understand why so many people DNF'ed this, and to be honest, the only reason I didn't DNF was because I was bored at work.
Even as the book improves, some things still made me side-eye it.
I greatly appreciated that at no point Katie is put in danger for being trans - there are no direct confrontations where she is involved. But there are direct confrontations between Nick and other people about her. Which felt weird: Nick defending her, telling people Katie's genitals or how he has sex with her are non of their business, and what he says in those scenes in itself is good, but it was weird that there were so many conversations explicitly ABOUT Katie with third parties, yet she wasn't there for any of them.
So.... there's some of my thoughts about this mess. I'm sure I forgot to mention many things, and there's many reviews out there by more relevant voices abotu this than mine.
Ultimately I didn't dislike this book as much as I thought I would, I like the topics that it handles, but I'm not convinced by the execution, and Nick is just plain the wrong character for a story like this in my optinion.
I do think that Hopeless Romantic has a great setup and handles many important topics that are not common in the genre, but the way some things were handled and the combination of it all wasn't great.
My main issue with this book was Nick, the protagonist. He's impossible. I can't even 100% describe what about him bothered me so much, but the way he behaved, what he said and his thoughts frequently made me speechless and extremely uncomfortable - all of that things that occured way before he learns that Katie, the love interest, is trans, and the subsequent mess.
Hopeless Romantic has several main topics:
One is that Nick falls in love with Katie, who is trans, which Nick knows very little about. He makes a lot of mistakes, saying and thinking things that hurt and misgender her. He also talks a lot with her and she corrects and calls him out a lot. Does Nick learn a lot? Yes, definitely. Does he always learn gracefuly? ... not really? He accepts what she says immediately and doesn't repeat mistakes directly, but somehow his "oh yeah sorry, I know" reactions felt a bit like he was brushing her off. I cannot tell if it was meant that way deliberately, but that was how it felt to me.
I do think that books about characters who are still learning about what it means to be trans and be with a trans person have their place, and can be very important - but in this specific case it felt like a wrong decision for the book.
Another big topic is that Nick realizes he's bisexual, when he identified as gay his entire life. The discovering bisexuality plotline isn't exactly new, but I have never read it from the perspective of someone who previously IDed as homosexual instead of hetero.
On it's own, that storyline I think is handled rather well. There are important conversations about bisexuality itself, and the whole "gay man falls for a woman" is handled very sensitively.
But.
Big but.
I find that storyline combined with how Nick treats Katie after she tells him she's trans.... not good.
Let me elaborate: The two of them meet by chance and after a while end up spending a long day together where they have a lots of fun. The entire day, Nick is very attracted to Katie, and very confused about why he is attracted to her given that she is a woman and he's a gay man. Later, as they talk, Katie brings up her being a trans woman - having assumed that Nick knew she was trans, which Nick hadn't. At no point previous to that does he even question her being cis (though I guess there are "hints" dropped for the reader - her voice cracks, she is pointed out to be tall, her hands are big but soft... which is a bit questionable in itself, but made worse by how awkward and unnatural the writing is at parts, especially when it comes to describing the characters). So when she tells him she's a trans woman.... Nick's first feeling is relief. Because "that explains why he, as a gay man, is attracted to her". Katie immediately calls him out on how wrong that kind of thinking is - that he is implying she is not really a woman - but.... god. It's just so uncomfortable. And combined with Nick having previously established himself as a huge asshole I really wasn't feeling it.
While talking about Nick being an asshole: Nick has a roommate, Tucker, who is a-spec (another minor thread is about Nick and Tucker's friendship). At some point Nick talks to his friends about Tucker, mentioning he might be asexual, to which his friends reply with "Ew". Nick replies with "Not ew, just different" and.... that's it. No further comments or thoughts are spared to this interaction that left me entirely speechless.
Nick's friends in general made me really uncomfortable, not just because one of them is a bigot and horrible in so many ways, but also how that makes Nick behave.
While Nick learns a lot over the course over the book, the first 20 % are really hard, and the improvements only really take place after the 50% mark. I understand why so many people DNF'ed this, and to be honest, the only reason I didn't DNF was because I was bored at work.
Even as the book improves, some things still made me side-eye it.
I greatly appreciated that at no point Katie is put in danger for being trans - there are no direct confrontations where she is involved. But there are direct confrontations between Nick and other people about her. Which felt weird: Nick defending her, telling people Katie's genitals or how he has sex with her are non of their business, and what he says in those scenes in itself is good, but it was weird that there were so many conversations explicitly ABOUT Katie with third parties, yet she wasn't there for any of them.
So.... there's some of my thoughts about this mess. I'm sure I forgot to mention many things, and there's many reviews out there by more relevant voices abotu this than mine.
Ultimately I didn't dislike this book as much as I thought I would, I like the topics that it handles, but I'm not convinced by the execution, and Nick is just plain the wrong character for a story like this in my optinion.
rainbow_grace's review
2.0
This is an odd book. Other reviewers have talked about how the author is clearly not trans and some have called the book transphobic. I am not trans and don't feel qualified to speak on that, but I will say that it made me very uncomfortable when the waiter at the restaurant calls them "gentlemen," and Katie brushes it off, saying that she gets called "sir" all the time. This also makes no sense, as it has been established earlier in the book that she doesn't look male. Nick sees her as a woman from the moment he meets her, and he has no reason to do so if she doesn't look female. So, either he is really stupid and/or blind, or everyone else is.
The writing is awkward and weird too. It's very tell-y. During make-out and sex scenes, we are told that Nick and Katie exchange "passionate kisses," but there is little passion or heat in the text. I felt nothing. Then, oops, they're in love. I was left wanting so much more.
The writing is awkward and weird too. It's very tell-y. During make-out and sex scenes, we are told that Nick and Katie exchange "passionate kisses," but there is little passion or heat in the text. I felt nothing. Then, oops, they're in love. I was left wanting so much more.
brittapoo's review
hopeful
lighthearted
relaxing
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.75
leahkarge's review
1.0
DNF @ ~45%
For a book written by a nonbinary author, this is one of the most transphobic novels I have ever had the misfortune of reading.
Read the full review on my blog.
For a book written by a nonbinary author, this is one of the most transphobic novels I have ever had the misfortune of reading.
Read the full review on my blog.
maustin18's review
4.0
Well done. Wonderful story. Not much of a pinnacle moment, but still a well rounded novel. Definitely would recommend!
the_novel_approach's review
4.0
After running into each other, literally, and then running into each other again in the more figurative sense, Nick Fraser and Katie Miller discover their common love of music and 80s and 90s rom-coms, and it sparks some of the conversations that make this novel such a sweet and charming read. I’m a huge fan of an author who knows how to use dialogue to not only advance the story but help readers get to know the characters, and these two charmed my socks off with their debates and banter and the more serious conversations as well. There was never a moment where I thought, “Guh, why don’t they just talk to each other already?” which, as a non-fan of the Big Misunderstanding because characters avoid the tough conversations, this made me kinda giddy.
As a growing awareness of the attraction Nick feels towards Katie develops, and the resulting confusion it inspires in Nick—who’s never in his life identified as bisexual—the revelation that Katie is transgender begins to make sense to Nick in the wrongest of wrong ways, so very wrong. But, after opening his mouth and inserting both feet more than once, it gives Katie the opportunity to school Nick on why he’s insulted her, even if it’s unintentional. The greatest thing about Katie is that she's in control, she allows Nick the mistake of his ignorance so that she can teach him why he's wrong, which is sometimes part of the learning process—everyone makes mistakes; growing is learning not to keep repeating them. I felt Katie's patience with Nick not only revealed that she’d been through this so many times before, all the things cisgender people take for granted, but it also gives readers the chance to know Katie as a strong, confident, independent and intelligent woman, despite the things that still cause her anxiety. There was never a point where Katie needed saving or played the damsel in distress to Nick’s knight in shining armor, and I loved that the author avoided that tired romantic trope. Between the two, Nick did all the growing as a character, all thanks to Katie, and watching him fall for her was really the defining romantic moment in the story.
Some things in Francis Gideon’s Hopeless Romantic will either feel retro to you or make you feel nostalgic (which is the kinder, gentler way of saying old). I loved the nostalgia parts of this story, with all the movie and music references, which endeared Nick and Katie to me all the more because it’s those two things that drew them together—some of the ways they started to bond even reminded me a little of Rachel Cohn and David Levithan’s Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, complete with the meet-cute. In fact, this book reads as if it could have been scripted from the template of some of those great rom-coms of the 80s and 90s, even including the “James Spader friend” who makes you wonder why he’s a friend—until, in Levi’s case, he does something really human and listens to Nick and proves he knows how not to be an arsehole all the time. And I loved that Nick’s love and loyalty was to Katie, always, and that he’s even given the great monologue scene where he gets to say out loud all the things that make her special to him.
One of my favorite quotes has always been, “love is friendship set to music.” I love it in the metaphorical sense, and I love that in the case of Hopeless Romantic, it works in the most literal sense too, but most important, in the end, is that this book lives up to its title. Nick and Katie’s love story really is hopelessly romantic.
Reviewed by Lisa for The Novel Approach
As a growing awareness of the attraction Nick feels towards Katie develops, and the resulting confusion it inspires in Nick—who’s never in his life identified as bisexual—the revelation that Katie is transgender begins to make sense to Nick in the wrongest of wrong ways, so very wrong. But, after opening his mouth and inserting both feet more than once, it gives Katie the opportunity to school Nick on why he’s insulted her, even if it’s unintentional. The greatest thing about Katie is that she's in control, she allows Nick the mistake of his ignorance so that she can teach him why he's wrong, which is sometimes part of the learning process—everyone makes mistakes; growing is learning not to keep repeating them. I felt Katie's patience with Nick not only revealed that she’d been through this so many times before, all the things cisgender people take for granted, but it also gives readers the chance to know Katie as a strong, confident, independent and intelligent woman, despite the things that still cause her anxiety. There was never a point where Katie needed saving or played the damsel in distress to Nick’s knight in shining armor, and I loved that the author avoided that tired romantic trope. Between the two, Nick did all the growing as a character, all thanks to Katie, and watching him fall for her was really the defining romantic moment in the story.
Some things in Francis Gideon’s Hopeless Romantic will either feel retro to you or make you feel nostalgic (which is the kinder, gentler way of saying old). I loved the nostalgia parts of this story, with all the movie and music references, which endeared Nick and Katie to me all the more because it’s those two things that drew them together—some of the ways they started to bond even reminded me a little of Rachel Cohn and David Levithan’s Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, complete with the meet-cute. In fact, this book reads as if it could have been scripted from the template of some of those great rom-coms of the 80s and 90s, even including the “James Spader friend” who makes you wonder why he’s a friend—until, in Levi’s case, he does something really human and listens to Nick and proves he knows how not to be an arsehole all the time. And I loved that Nick’s love and loyalty was to Katie, always, and that he’s even given the great monologue scene where he gets to say out loud all the things that make her special to him.
One of my favorite quotes has always been, “love is friendship set to music.” I love it in the metaphorical sense, and I love that in the case of Hopeless Romantic, it works in the most literal sense too, but most important, in the end, is that this book lives up to its title. Nick and Katie’s love story really is hopelessly romantic.
Reviewed by Lisa for The Novel Approach
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