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readwithsuzie's review
5.0
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
My son has struggled off and on with anxiety and OCD behaviors for the past few years, and I finally decided it was time to give this book a try. Although I haven't officially started implementing the steps laid out, I can already tell it's going to prove helpful over time. The beginning chapters discuss types of anxiety and OCD and how parents sometimes can make it harder for their child to overcome these struggles, and I found this part very informative and helpful. I was able to pinpoint things I am doing that seem helpful but really are not. It then lays out a gentle but effective method of supporting your child through the words you say and also by removing accommodations that are making it harder for him/her to overcome anxiety. Instead of forcing your child to behave differently, you are focusing on your behaviors and allowing your child to see that he/she can cope with their fears. I am looking forward to seeing how this helps as we put the steps into action in our household.
My son has struggled off and on with anxiety and OCD behaviors for the past few years, and I finally decided it was time to give this book a try. Although I haven't officially started implementing the steps laid out, I can already tell it's going to prove helpful over time. The beginning chapters discuss types of anxiety and OCD and how parents sometimes can make it harder for their child to overcome these struggles, and I found this part very informative and helpful. I was able to pinpoint things I am doing that seem helpful but really are not. It then lays out a gentle but effective method of supporting your child through the words you say and also by removing accommodations that are making it harder for him/her to overcome anxiety. Instead of forcing your child to behave differently, you are focusing on your behaviors and allowing your child to see that he/she can cope with their fears. I am looking forward to seeing how this helps as we put the steps into action in our household.
luthermanuel's review
4.0
This book captures and conveys great information and interventions for oarents who have children or youth struggling with anxiety.
xandra_lyn's review
informative
slow-paced
3.0
This is good for parents with kids who have general anxiety. It is NOT good for parents who have kids with OCD. I have OCD and would not have found these methods helpful. They might have been effective in curbing specific compulsions, but - as anyone who has OCD knows - a person can just take up a different compulsion. Thus, for parents of OCD children, you're really only making your life better; you're not actually teaching your child to cope with their intrusive thoughts and compulsions.
amb614's review
4.0
This book has great strategies for a customizable approach to changing the parent's behavior as it relates to their child's anxiety. I appreciated the informed, thoughtful approach as well as the worksheets to scaffold each step. Super helpful and would definitely recommend to any parent of an anxious kiddo!
milenabates's review against another edition
1.0
This book starts off with some useful tidbits. Then it shows promise talking about parental regulation, not trying to change your kid's behavior and providing support. But he can call it something good and he can coach you to deliver it in a calm way, this method is disturbing and neglectful, and sometimes downright cruel. It demonizes helping your kid with their struggles, describing accommodations as something that is not letting your kid cope. And if you just give your kid an opportunity to cope on their own, they will see that they can and the anxiety will improve. Yeah except it doesn't work like that. And he says it might not. And if you tell your kid you will not provide the support for their mental health struggles and they get really upset, then you, the parent should get some support for yourself to make yourself feel better about what you are doing to your kid. Actual advice from the book. There are so many obvious ethical issues.
But wait, isn't this method scientifically proven? I looked up the study. The results that are measured are parental stress and family accommodations. That is how he measures child anxiety.
I was sceptical as soon as I picked up the book because of the title which is actually honest if you take it at face value. He has a program to make parents feel less burdened by their child's anxiety. Sure you will see your child coming to you less for support. Because you taught him it doesn't work. That you'll just nicely tell them they can deal with it on their own. And then praise them for enduring the lack of support. So messed up. The only reason I finished it is because it was recommended by a therapist, whose competence I now strongly question.
But wait, isn't this method scientifically proven? I looked up the study. The results that are measured are parental stress and family accommodations. That is how he measures child anxiety.
I was sceptical as soon as I picked up the book because of the title which is actually honest if you take it at face value. He has a program to make parents feel less burdened by their child's anxiety. Sure you will see your child coming to you less for support. Because you taught him it doesn't work. That you'll just nicely tell them they can deal with it on their own. And then praise them for enduring the lack of support. So messed up. The only reason I finished it is because it was recommended by a therapist, whose competence I now strongly question.
macthebrazen's review
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
4.25
It's my personal bias as therapist who practices emotionally focused therapy and accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy, but I wish he'd leaned even further into the acceptance of emotions bit and more explicitly teaching our kids self-compassion, but good content anyway!
goodeyreads's review
fast-paced
5.0
I really enjoyed this and thought it held a lot of good options and knowledge about handling multiple situations. I'm hopeful to try some of these in our life!
sophiahelix's review
4.0
Excellent, practical but kind guide to helping children with anxiety, primarily by focusing on parent/caregiver behavior