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101 reviews for:
The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them
Elaine N. Aron
3.76 AVERAGE
101 reviews for:
The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them
Elaine N. Aron
3.76 AVERAGE
I'm not sure why I picked this up. I can say about this the same thing I said about The Highly Sensitive Person; the concept is interesting, but a short article would have sufficed. The suggestions for parenting a highly sensitive child seemed like common sense to me.
This book really resonated with me from the first page. I could check off practically the entire list when thinking of my daughter. It's good to finally point a finger to a potential reason for her sensitivity.
What kind of irked me about the book was how to cope with having a highly sensitive child. It says to explain to the principal of your child's school about your child's temperament and ask for special accommodations. I agree that explaining it to the child's teacher would be helpful, but the way the author talks about it is almost like it's a disability.
There are hints and tips for various child age ranges, but a lot of the tips seem extremely common sense. If you notice your child gets overwhelmed easily, then it makes intuitive sense to not overschedule your kid. We were tipped off that our kid fell below the normal range on adjustment to new situations by the time she was a few months old, and we have always focused on one extracurricular activity at a time. So to read advice that was along this vein was a bit like "duh."
All in all, the author explained oversensitivity well.
What kind of irked me about the book was how to cope with having a highly sensitive child. It says to explain to the principal of your child's school about your child's temperament and ask for special accommodations. I agree that explaining it to the child's teacher would be helpful, but the way the author talks about it is almost like it's a disability.
There are hints and tips for various child age ranges, but a lot of the tips seem extremely common sense. If you notice your child gets overwhelmed easily, then it makes intuitive sense to not overschedule your kid. We were tipped off that our kid fell below the normal range on adjustment to new situations by the time she was a few months old, and we have always focused on one extracurricular activity at a time. So to read advice that was along this vein was a bit like "duh."
All in all, the author explained oversensitivity well.
There were definitely things that irked me throughout this book, specifically:
1. The insistence on the binary categories of “highly sensitive” and “non-sensitive”, rather than a continuum, seemed both unnecessary and inaccurate. I did the test and my results were solidly borderline, and as friend said - can’t kids just be “sensitive”?!
2. Following from 1, the assumption that HSCs should be treated differently from other kids, rather than recognising that all kids deserve attuned parenting.
3. The framing of special “HSCs” who have nothing to do with those disasterous children with ADHD or ASD or other conditions. It was a bit offensive I thought, though maybe the phrasing is just an American style for an American audience. Which brings me to...
4. The assumption that all readers were white middle-class Americans who have the privilege to be choosy about teachers and reject social expectations without risk of serious trouble. The only time I remember anyone other than white people being mentioned was a cringe-worthy example about telling a white kid that he knows more about Native Americans than other kids. I hope that bit is edited out in future print-runs!
BUT despite all that I’m still giving four stars because the concept of a HSC was so helpful for understanding my daughter, and why things that work for other kids don’t work for her (and vice versa). The section on babies was particularly helpful because it filled a gap in terms of understanding and attuning to kids aged under 2 - I hadn’t seen/heard about that elsewhere.
Recommended if you’ve got an “HSC” otherwise I’d go for Adele/Joanna Faber or Dan Siegel for how-to guides for attuned parenting.
1. The insistence on the binary categories of “highly sensitive” and “non-sensitive”, rather than a continuum, seemed both unnecessary and inaccurate. I did the test and my results were solidly borderline, and as friend said - can’t kids just be “sensitive”?!
2. Following from 1, the assumption that HSCs should be treated differently from other kids, rather than recognising that all kids deserve attuned parenting.
3. The framing of special “HSCs” who have nothing to do with those disasterous children with ADHD or ASD or other conditions. It was a bit offensive I thought, though maybe the phrasing is just an American style for an American audience. Which brings me to...
4. The assumption that all readers were white middle-class Americans who have the privilege to be choosy about teachers and reject social expectations without risk of serious trouble. The only time I remember anyone other than white people being mentioned was a cringe-worthy example about telling a white kid that he knows more about Native Americans than other kids. I hope that bit is edited out in future print-runs!
BUT despite all that I’m still giving four stars because the concept of a HSC was so helpful for understanding my daughter, and why things that work for other kids don’t work for her (and vice versa). The section on babies was particularly helpful because it filled a gap in terms of understanding and attuning to kids aged under 2 - I hadn’t seen/heard about that elsewhere.
Recommended if you’ve got an “HSC” otherwise I’d go for Adele/Joanna Faber or Dan Siegel for how-to guides for attuned parenting.
A lot of the information about sensitivity really resonated with me, both in my experience with my son and my own childhood experiences. It made me more aware of how much we're both affected by our environment and about the ways in which our sensitivity can be leveraged as an advantage.
That being said, I didn't agree with all the advice presented. I'm pretty firmly in the selfish parenting camp - not bending over backward to accommodate my children and doing what I can to protect my own mental health. A lot of the suggestions for taking care of a sensitive child seemed unreasonable - only possible for someone with a great deal of extra resources to expend...
That being said, I didn't agree with all the advice presented. I'm pretty firmly in the selfish parenting camp - not bending over backward to accommodate my children and doing what I can to protect my own mental health. A lot of the suggestions for taking care of a sensitive child seemed unreasonable - only possible for someone with a great deal of extra resources to expend...
informative
slow-paced
There’s some good stuff here, although most of it wasn’t new information. Know your kid, advocate for them, listen and believe them, set them up for success, keep discipline appropriate and limit shame - allow them to take risks and focus on building self esteem. Develop strategies to deal with negative emotions. ✔️
informative
medium-paced
It was such an eye-opener to read this book and see my daughter in most of what Elaine Aron wrote. It certainly helps me a lot to know better how to help and support my daughter and understand her better. The only thing I was hoping to find in the book that I didn't is how to help my daughter deal with pressure at school and an insensitive teacher.
Lots of good things to think through as a parent and teacher.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced