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emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
I am in awe of this book. It is raw, honest, emotional, eye-opening, open-hearted, & absolutely hooking. I quite literally could not put it down (that is until I got close to the end, at which point I kept stalling because I was both scared of what would happen & sad about it being over). @natalienaudus does an incredible job of making Valerie’s anger, frustration, and desperation radiate off the page, which is so powerful in & of itself, but it isn’t just that. There’s also so much warmth & hope as Valerie starts to discover herself, starts to find her safe space in the library & in books, starts to fall in love. There’s a complexity to the characters & world that is at once magnetic & heartbreaking. And those factors combined kept me on the edge of my seat, simultaneously riveted & a little terrified about what was going to happen next.
From someone who grew up in heteronormative religious schools (though it was not a cult & no where near as intense as in this book) & found myself through the queer books I read as an adult, thank you, Natalie Naudus, for sharing such an achingly beautiful story.
From someone who grew up in heteronormative religious schools (though it was not a cult & no where near as intense as in this book) & found myself through the queer books I read as an adult, thank you, Natalie Naudus, for sharing such an achingly beautiful story.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Racism, Sexism, Religious bigotry, Outing, Gaslighting
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
I knew from the moment I heard about this book that it would strongly impact me, and I have been proven correct. I was literally brought to tears within the first couple sentences, because I immediately recognized myself in the main character's shoes; because like Valerie, I grew up in a religious cult, while being bisexual and falling in love with "worldly" books and hobbies. From the modesty rules for women, the separation and isolation from "the world," the "separate, but equal" rhetoric about men and women... and that's not even truly scraping the surface of what these cults had in common, unfortunately. But since this is a book review and not a personal essay, I digress.
My heart ached not just for Val, but for every character effected and indoctrinated by this environment. And it was so so beautiful to watch her find love and acceptance with others outside of the cult. I loved the nods to other beautiful, queer books.
I don't think I'll ever have a full, eloquent review for this book. But I'll say that it's the type of book I wish I had as a teenager, or even at twenty-one, when I finally left. Even though I'm reading this book nearly four years after my deconstruction, it's still become a deeply special book to me, and I hope that it finds the people it needs to. ❤️
My heart ached not just for Val, but for every character effected and indoctrinated by this environment. And it was so so beautiful to watch her find love and acceptance with others outside of the cult. I loved the nods to other beautiful, queer books.
I don't think I'll ever have a full, eloquent review for this book. But I'll say that it's the type of book I wish I had as a teenager, or even at twenty-one, when I finally left. Even though I'm reading this book nearly four years after my deconstruction, it's still become a deeply special book to me, and I hope that it finds the people it needs to. ❤️
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Religious bigotry
Moderate: Biphobia, Racism, Outing
Minor: Vomit, Toxic friendship
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Wow.
This book hits close to home for me. It left me crying quite a bit. My own family didn't come from the Goddard school of Evangelical Christianity but my church was definitely similarly toxic and culty. Obviously my experience was not exactly the same and quite different in some ways. At the same time some of these exact experiences could have been pulled whole from my own life.
This book hurt to read, but in a good way, a healing way. This is a story I think everyone ought to read and I am so sad to know that a lot of those who need it most will be unlikely to see it due to the strictness inherent to the people trapped in those belief systems. I think is this is my Most Impactful read of all 2024.
This book hits close to home for me. It left me crying quite a bit. My own family didn't come from the Goddard school of Evangelical Christianity but my church was definitely similarly toxic and culty. Obviously my experience was not exactly the same and quite different in some ways. At the same time some of these exact experiences could have been pulled whole from my own life.
This book hurt to read, but in a good way, a healing way. This is a story I think everyone ought to read and I am so sad to know that a lot of those who need it most will be unlikely to see it due to the strictness inherent to the people trapped in those belief systems. I think is this is my Most Impactful read of all 2024.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Bullying, Child abuse, Deadnaming, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Grief, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment
Minor: Body shaming, Bullying, Confinement, Cursing, Abortion, Acephobia/Arophobia, Outing, Gaslighting
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
This story is based in part on the author Natalie Naudus experiences. This is a terrifying story of a very powerful world wide organization with very deep pockets who wants control of more than just a church congregation. Valerie is a seventeen year old girl living under the tight fist of an evangelical cult. She’s smart and curious and questioning her sexuality, a big no no in her world. Natalie’s life has been kept small, with little to no exposure to the outside world. Until Riley shows up and turns Valerie’s world upside down.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Confinement, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship
Minor: Child abuse, Vomit, Gaslighting
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
N/A
With a title like “Gay The Pray Away” I knew it was going to be heavy-handed on the religious trauma and boy did it deliver. Lovely little book about first love, found family, discovering yourself, and escaping a cult.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexism, Vomit, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Outing
Moderate: Physical abuse, Racism, Abortion
If you, like me, grew up in or really were ever a part of a Duggarish or Duggar-adjacent religious cult, there are truly no words for what this book means to me as an adult, looking back on my own teenage years. Highly, highly recommend!!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Sexism, Religious bigotry
Moderate: Racism, Xenophobia
Minor: Physical abuse
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
Beautiful, quick read. Highly recommend the audiobook, narrated by the author. I love a sweet, gentle queer teen romance, and this is that but also an exploration of growing up inside religious cults and spiritual deprogramming. I wish the love interest, Riley, had a bit more character development — maybe we can get a sequel or spinoff for her? — but otherwise, I really enjoyed this book!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Homophobia
Moderate: Sexual harassment
Minor: Racism
challenging
emotional
hopeful
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexism, Religious bigotry, Outing
Moderate: Vomit
Minor: Racism
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Let's be honest: the librarian is one of the heroes in this book, and we love to see it. It showcases what libraries are really all about: allowing people access to the information they need, in the ways that they need it. Without that, Valerie might not have ever had that awakening.
It really speaks to the power of books as well. Getting to see pieces of yourself represented, and learning other perspectives from your own. The emotional journey in this book is so well done, as are the characters. Definitely a great debut.
It really speaks to the power of books as well. Getting to see pieces of yourself represented, and learning other perspectives from your own. The emotional journey in this book is so well done, as are the characters. Definitely a great debut.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Religious bigotry
Moderate: Child abuse, Physical abuse, Racism
Minor: Domestic abuse, Vomit
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexism, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Outing
Moderate: Cursing, Racism, Vomit, Classism