You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Scan barcode
maryy_r0se's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
"Memories: some can be sucker punching, others carry you forward; some stay with you forever, others you forget on your own. You can't really know which ones you'll survive if you don't stay on the battlefield, bad times shooting at you like bullets. But if you're lucky, you'll have plenty of good times to shield you."
**note: I read this as part of an ongoing project to read and critique young adult books that include themes of mental illness**
High schooler Aaron Soto is on the path to recovering from his father's suicide and his own suicide attempt. With Gen, his free-spirited and loving girlfriend at his side, he is ready to move forward, even when the pain feels overwhelming. His progress gets derailed when he befriends Thomas, a quirky kid with a love of movies and no real direction in life. Aaron feels connected to Thomas in a confusing way that seems to transcend friendship. Add to that his community's mounting tension over the Leteo Institute, a controversial medical practice that claims to suppress distressing memories, and Aaron begins to find himself in a freefall that may very well be his undoing.
There is a lot to like about this book. I don't regularly read young adult novels, so it took me a while to adjust to the writing style. However, Silvera achieves at writing a main character who is deeply flawed and yet the reader can still root for. The pacing was inconsistent at parts, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it in the first half, but the second half really picked up for me.I found myself genuinely shocked at the plot twist.
The comparisons to Eternal Sunshine are certainly warranted, and at times I did wonder if it felt close enough to the movie to dull my enjoyment of the book; it is not a rip off by any means, but didn't fully grip my attention because of the occasional inkling of "haven't I heard this before?" I kept waiting for Thomas, the book's resident movie buff, to bring up the Eternal Sunshine connection. That said, I have very little experience with sci fi content, and perhaps if I did I would simply see this as a common enough trope that it wouldn't stand out.
I read the version with the altered ending, and while I think I personally would have appreciated the original ending a tad more, considering it is a teen book I think adding the extra chapter was the right move. I was left with a major question at the end:was the Jordan that Aaron met in group therapy somehow supposed to be the same Jordan that shot and killed Kenneth? It could have just been a different character with the same name, but it seemed a bit odd that Silvera would have two characters with the same name and no explanation. Group Therapy Jordan also mentioned his sister at least twice, which seemed relevant because Other Jordan killed Kenneth because of his sister. And while Group Therapy Jordan's backstory didn't align with Other Jordan's, both Group Therapy Jordan and Aaron had been given the Leteo procedure so maybe their memories were still corrupt in some way? But in that case, wouldn't someone like Eric or Gen have recognized Jordan when he came to the birthday party? I kept waiting for another twist or at least some sort of explanation, but it never came. This was especially confusing to me because the author went out of his way when explaining the two Daves and the two Aarons.
I read this book to screen it for a library booklist I am making regarding teen mental health books, and I have decided to approve it for the list. Despite some flaws, I think it shows a nuanced perspective on familial suicide and mental health, while also providing representation to often unrepresented groups.
**note: I read this as part of an ongoing project to read and critique young adult books that include themes of mental illness**
High schooler Aaron Soto is on the path to recovering from his father's suicide and his own suicide attempt. With Gen, his free-spirited and loving girlfriend at his side, he is ready to move forward, even when the pain feels overwhelming. His progress gets derailed when he befriends Thomas, a quirky kid with a love of movies and no real direction in life. Aaron feels connected to Thomas in a confusing way that seems to transcend friendship. Add to that his community's mounting tension over the Leteo Institute, a controversial medical practice that claims to suppress distressing memories, and Aaron begins to find himself in a freefall that may very well be his undoing.
There is a lot to like about this book. I don't regularly read young adult novels, so it took me a while to adjust to the writing style. However, Silvera achieves at writing a main character who is deeply flawed and yet the reader can still root for. The pacing was inconsistent at parts, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it in the first half, but the second half really picked up for me.
The comparisons to Eternal Sunshine are certainly warranted, and at times I did wonder if it felt close enough to the movie to dull my enjoyment of the book; it is not a rip off by any means, but didn't fully grip my attention because of the occasional inkling of "haven't I heard this before?" I kept waiting for Thomas, the book's resident movie buff, to bring up the Eternal Sunshine connection. That said, I have very little experience with sci fi content, and perhaps if I did I would simply see this as a common enough trope that it wouldn't stand out.
I read the version with the altered ending, and while I think I personally would have appreciated the original ending a tad more, considering it is a teen book I think adding the extra chapter was the right move. I was left with a major question at the end:
I read this book to screen it for a library booklist I am making regarding teen mental health books, and I have decided to approve it for the list. Despite some flaws, I think it shows a nuanced perspective on familial suicide and mental health, while also providing representation to often unrepresented groups.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Medical content, and Death of parent
Moderate: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Self harm, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Gun violence and Pregnancy
mschills's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Death of parent
dhruthick's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Violence, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Death of parent
Moderate: Child death, Cursing, and Drug use
Minor: Rape
emm_furlong's review against another edition
emotional
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Bullying, Cursing, Homophobia, Violence, and Death of parent
Minor: Drug use, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Toxic friendship
19becky97's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail
half_bloodreader's review against another edition
dark
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
Written in 1st person, present tense. Divided into 5 parts
Toxic masculinity is real in this one.
This is not only a sad book, it's also really hard to go through. I advise against reading this when you are going through a depressive episode.
It's not a feel good story, and most of the characters are pretty hateful. Thomas -who's pretty flawed himself- keeps calling these guys he knows from childhood his "friends", when they're nothing but! He also looks for his happiness in others which is an awful message and he's super entitled.
The book is pretty short, but Part 1 is boring. The pacing's inconsistent.
The premise is interesting, but it didn't feel explored to its potential.
I appreciate the diversity. Not only in race and sexuality, but in social class. Poverty isn't addressed enough, unless it's for the same plot we all know. But poverty has many faces.
I don't appreciate Aaron's transphobic wording about the character Nate (especially when he wants to be accepted). Or how he hurts the people who truly care about him again and again. And how he decides who someone is and labels them. You don't get to tell someone hoe they identify or attribute a label! You can give them resources, support, discuss such subjects, and let them figure it out!!
I don't like how there's a message that a boy liking girl characters, girl action figures and girl pop singers equals being gay. The mc himself says these traits were hints of his sexuality! That is such patriarchal heteronormative bs, and it's actually part of a bigger issue: men must want women, but they can't respect them, while respecting and looking for the approval of other men, but keeping a distance.
If I took a shot every time "no homo" was said, I'd have liver failure! Just. Stop.
Just what even was the point of this book? If it was: embrace past hardships & traumas, so you can overcome and move on, then I personally don't think it was handled right.
I loved They Both Die at the End, but this one wasn't it.
Toxic masculinity is real in this one.
This is not only a sad book, it's also really hard to go through. I advise against reading this when you are going through a depressive episode.
It's not a feel good story, and most of the characters are pretty hateful. Thomas -who's pretty flawed himself- keeps calling these guys he knows from childhood his "friends", when they're nothing but! He also looks for his happiness in others which is an awful message and he's super entitled.
The book is pretty short, but Part 1 is boring. The pacing's inconsistent.
The premise is interesting, but it didn't feel explored to its potential.
I appreciate the diversity. Not only in race and sexuality, but in social class. Poverty isn't addressed enough, unless it's for the same plot we all know. But poverty has many faces.
I don't appreciate Aaron's transphobic wording about the character Nate (especially when he wants to be accepted). Or how he hurts the people who truly care about him again and again. And how he decides who someone is and labels them. You don't get to tell someone hoe they identify or attribute a label! You can give them resources, support, discuss such subjects, and let them figure it out!!
I don't like how there's a message that a boy liking girl characters, girl action figures and girl pop singers equals being gay. The mc himself says these traits were hints of his sexuality! That is such patriarchal heteronormative bs, and it's actually part of a bigger issue: men must want women, but they can't respect them, while respecting and looking for the approval of other men, but keeping a distance.
If I took a shot every time "no homo" was said, I'd have liver failure! Just. Stop.
Just what even was the point of this book? If it was: embrace past hardships & traumas, so you can overcome and move on, then I personally don't think it was handled right.
I loved They Both Die at the End, but this one wasn't it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Homophobia, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Transphobia and Suicide attempt
emilyellen07's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Drug use, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Outing, and Toxic friendship
hyac1nthgirl's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
this book WRECKED me. like WRECKED. when the twist happened, i literally had to set the book down to process what that meant. processing pain & trying to heal is what this book is all about, & as someone who has had their fair share of guilt & grief, this touched me in a way i didn't expect. im not sure exactly what is holding me back from giving a full 5 stars, maybe I'll find it later. but i loved everything about this book, including the tiniest of details like the smiley/sad faces that separated sections & how they always matched the content & how aaron was feeling at that point. a beautiful debut from an author that i NEED to read more from.
EDIT: upping this to 5 stars bc i literally can't stop thinking about this book MONTHS later.
EDIT: upping this to 5 stars bc i literally can't stop thinking about this book MONTHS later.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Homophobia, Self harm, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
abbiesb_read's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Correct me if I’m wrong but, I got the vibe that Aaron is bi and Adam Silvera had no idea how to conceptualize that idea fully.
This book read like a draft that needed more editing.
The narrator, Aaron, was insufferable at times. For most of the book I honestly couldn’t stand him and considered DNF the book because he acted like he was entitled to have his feelings returned. We can not control how others feel about us which i thought was going to be part of the message of this book—which would have been a very powerful message—instead we have a character whose entire happiness relies on others. —which is a terrible message.
There were so many moments where I felt like Aaron was in denial that a guy could have physical attraction towards him and also still be figuring out his sexuality— or that a guy could have been experimenting and came to the conclusion he isn’t gay. Considering that Aaron himself was questioning his own sexually he never once acted like it was ok for his male love interests to also question their own sexuality. If his feelings towards them weren’t returned and they showed any sort of straightness—“he’s gay and he’s in denial if he thinks he isn’t”. This book acts like being Straight or Gay are the only options.
Also, the friend characters were written very stereotypical and lacked any sort of interesting substance. I often found myself getting them confused because they all had the same personality.
Why was “no homo” used SO MANY TIMES?? I don’t have a problem with it being used. I’m in my 30s and I do remember kids my age in middle school saying it but why was that saying used so EXCESSIVELY?!
In terms of the plot: Sometimes the pacing was fast, other times it slogged. I felt like this book tried to cram in as much trauma as it possibly could so it could make you “feel something” but it came off as emotionally manipulative. The “twist” ending and then eventual conclusion made me wander what was the damn point of this book.
I read We Both Die at the End first and this didn’t even come close to the same impact that book had on me. However, I acknowledge that this is Adam’s first novel so I’m glad his writing has improved!
This book read like a draft that needed more editing.
The narrator, Aaron, was insufferable at times. For most of the book I honestly couldn’t stand him and considered DNF the book because he acted like he was entitled to have his feelings returned. We can not control how others feel about us which i thought was going to be part of the message of this book—which would have been a very powerful message—instead we have a character whose entire happiness relies on others. —which is a terrible message.
There were so many moments where I felt like Aaron was in denial that a guy could have physical attraction towards him and also still be figuring out his sexuality— or that a guy could have been experimenting and came to the conclusion he isn’t gay. Considering that Aaron himself was questioning his own sexually he never once acted like it was ok for his male love interests to also question their own sexuality. If his feelings towards them weren’t returned and they showed any sort of straightness—“he’s gay and he’s in denial if he thinks he isn’t”. This book acts like being Straight or Gay are the only options.
Also, the friend characters were written very stereotypical and lacked any sort of interesting substance. I often found myself getting them confused because they all had the same personality.
Why was “no homo” used SO MANY TIMES?? I don’t have a problem with it being used. I’m in my 30s and I do remember kids my age in middle school saying it but why was that saying used so EXCESSIVELY?!
In terms of the plot: Sometimes the pacing was fast, other times it slogged. I felt like this book tried to cram in as much trauma as it possibly could so it could make you “feel something” but it came off as emotionally manipulative. The “twist” ending and then eventual conclusion made me wander what was the damn point of this book.
I read We Both Die at the End first and this didn’t even come close to the same impact that book had on me. However, I acknowledge that this is Adam’s first novel so I’m glad his writing has improved!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, and Death of parent
Moderate: Biphobia, Bullying, and Toxic friendship
sandy_21's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, and Death of parent