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3.81 AVERAGE
3.81 AVERAGE
Wow this was long! But good. It's actually one of the only anxiety books I've ever read that I'm thinking is worth a re-read at some point.
But first, a little light-hearted critique:
* Dale Carnegie is a Buzzfeed writer before there were such things. ("If you have a worry problem, apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier." "Seven Ways to Peace and Happiness", "If You Do This, You Will Never Worry About Ingratitude", "How to Cure Melancholy in Fourteen Days").
* Dale Carnegie is also your mother who knows exactly where you're off base and is talking to you kindly but firmly about how to Straighten Up.
Yeah, it's an interesting tone. It's a bit... folksy? Is that the right word? I think so. You definitely feel as if he knows who he's talking to. And it's you.
BUT. In spite of the fact that I chuckled/cringed at some things...
He makes a lot of solid practical points, and he says them in a way that makes me sit up and take notice. I think since he was writing decades before the market was flooded with formulaic self-help books written in a detached clinical voice, his text stands out as truly unique and memorable. And some of his points have actually popped into my head during anxious moments, days after reading about them. I honestly think I will remember and use some of this stuff.
One of my favorite points came early on. And, you guessed it, it's "the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier." ;) Yeah, I'm not crazy about that label. But the chapter is very thought-provoking. We worrywarts spend a lot of time distressed about terrible but vague outcomes. The advice here is to try and define to yourself what is the worst logical outcome in this situation... face up to it, mentally prepare to accept it if you have to, but then calmly proceed to improve upon the worst.
Related to that is another chapter on cooperating with the inevitable. It's exhausting to think you can control the uncontrollable, you know? I have that problem sometimes. Especially in a COVID world. So this chapter is about stopping that mindset. It doesn't mean giving up when there's a chance to make something better. But, if it's truly something that can't be changed... well, as he says, "No one living has enough emotion and vigour to fight the inevitable and, at the same time, enough left over to create a new life." I'm reviewing the chapter now, and I have to say, it's powerful stuff.
Dale Carnegie includes lots of real-life stories that illustrate what he's talking about. Some of them are very poignant, and some of them seem a little over-hyped. And some of them are just a product of their time. Like the short article, "I Was Acting Like an Hysterical Woman," by Cameron Shipp. Whew. Glad he got some help for that. I guess Hysterical Men hadn't been invented yet.
(Note: There are definitely some instances of gender and racial stereotyping that stand out glaringly to a modern reader.)
But all in all, this was a solid, straightforward read for anxious people, and in my opinion, way more engaging (if also occasionally snort-inducing) than most current books on the subject. So much so that I'm considering getting a hard copy so I can review and highlight some things.
But first, a little light-hearted critique:
* Dale Carnegie is a Buzzfeed writer before there were such things. ("If you have a worry problem, apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier." "Seven Ways to Peace and Happiness", "If You Do This, You Will Never Worry About Ingratitude", "How to Cure Melancholy in Fourteen Days").
* Dale Carnegie is also your mother who knows exactly where you're off base and is talking to you kindly but firmly about how to Straighten Up.
Yeah, it's an interesting tone. It's a bit... folksy? Is that the right word? I think so. You definitely feel as if he knows who he's talking to. And it's you.
BUT. In spite of the fact that I chuckled/cringed at some things...
He makes a lot of solid practical points, and he says them in a way that makes me sit up and take notice. I think since he was writing decades before the market was flooded with formulaic self-help books written in a detached clinical voice, his text stands out as truly unique and memorable. And some of his points have actually popped into my head during anxious moments, days after reading about them. I honestly think I will remember and use some of this stuff.
One of my favorite points came early on. And, you guessed it, it's "the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier." ;) Yeah, I'm not crazy about that label. But the chapter is very thought-provoking. We worrywarts spend a lot of time distressed about terrible but vague outcomes. The advice here is to try and define to yourself what is the worst logical outcome in this situation... face up to it, mentally prepare to accept it if you have to, but then calmly proceed to improve upon the worst.
Related to that is another chapter on cooperating with the inevitable. It's exhausting to think you can control the uncontrollable, you know? I have that problem sometimes. Especially in a COVID world. So this chapter is about stopping that mindset. It doesn't mean giving up when there's a chance to make something better. But, if it's truly something that can't be changed... well, as he says, "No one living has enough emotion and vigour to fight the inevitable and, at the same time, enough left over to create a new life." I'm reviewing the chapter now, and I have to say, it's powerful stuff.
Dale Carnegie includes lots of real-life stories that illustrate what he's talking about. Some of them are very poignant, and some of them seem a little over-hyped. And some of them are just a product of their time. Like the short article, "I Was Acting Like an Hysterical Woman," by Cameron Shipp. Whew. Glad he got some help for that. I guess Hysterical Men hadn't been invented yet.
(Note: There are definitely some instances of gender and racial stereotyping that stand out glaringly to a modern reader.)
But all in all, this was a solid, straightforward read for anxious people, and in my opinion, way more engaging (if also occasionally snort-inducing) than most current books on the subject. So much so that I'm considering getting a hard copy so I can review and highlight some things.
stories were as usual, too vague, and too white for my liking.
Een zeer informatief boek dat in praktische stappen hulp biedt in lastige tijden. Iedereen die zich vast voelt zitten of niet weet hoe ze verder moeten kan ik dit boek zeker aanraden. Het is duidelijk en fijn geschreven met kleine verhalen waarin de boodschap die Dale Carnegie over wilt brengen goed naar voren komt. Daarbij kan het nooit kwaad om te lezen over hoe men ontspannender kan leven en meer rust kan geven. In een hypermoderne tijd zoals deze kan het nooit kwaad om tijd te nemen om alle zorgen uit je hoofd te zetten.
Ageless advice on how to live life more positively and purposefully. This was just what I needed right now.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
challenging
lighthearted
reflective
slow-paced
Smells of mold and classism. Better books on same topics out there.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Xenophobia, Suicide attempt, Colonisation, Classism
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
The case studies are dated (of course) but there is a timeless quality to it. I like Dale Carnegie's writing style as well!
informative
I re-read this book in 2020 after reading it for the first time in 2014, and it is still a 5 star standout! Dale Carnegie has a way of weaving together advice, stories, science, and faith in a compelling and inspiring way. Putting challenges into perspective and realizing the physical, emotional, and relationship benefits of setting aside worry have re-inspired me to take a look at my life and habits. Highly recommend this book.