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nini23's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
3.75
I really thought I would rate this higher like 4.5 through the first third of the novel when the boys were in the choir. Although it's in the blurb, what are the chances he would run into the choir director's son, who confusingly resembles Peter?
But let's talk about the writing, because it's beguiling. Some have described it as a lullaby. To me, it captures well that surreal cotton wool quality where something terrible has happened, fracturing into a 'before' and 'after' yet normal life still continues despite one feeling like dying inside. Accordingly, there is a dissociative quality to the writing, as well as used as a coping mechanism.
Sexual abuse of minors is an abhorrent crime and we see the effects of the damage effervesce in each of the boys as they grow up.
I see why there have been comparisons to A Little Life and it boils down to plausibility. Have choir boys been sexually abused? For sure. In fact, while Chee was going into detail about the Kyries (medieval profession of praise and love to God) the choir was singing, underlay there was the bitter ironical knowledge of the numerous cases of boys sexually abused by Catholic priests.
The section where Fee is in college doing drugs is when I started disengaging. The writing is still splinteringly beautiful but it's normal sophomore experiences.I am in disbelief that adult Fee as a swimming coach and teacher does have sex with a student who turns out to be Big Eric's (his abuser's) son Warden who he last saw toddling learning to walk. He himself was abused by an authority figure and yet .... Also, it gets into major makjang territory when the son falls in love with Fee, fainting spells, stalking etc and kills his father by burning him and photos of the adolescent Fee as revenge on his behalf. Fee at that point had a seemingly stable respectable life and he just self-conflagrated. Warden I have no clue what's happening with him. If this is all to show the damage is permanent in these abused individuals, then it's really twisted and hopeless. Human psychology is complex and atrocious things happen everyday, like my review for A Little Life stated, many shitty occurences can believably happen to a single person. It's not so much about resilience as cause and effect. Big Eric planted the seed of a time bomb in these boys and they detonated in their own way in time. There was a painful innocence in them that was destroyed forever.
If we continue with this analogy, this reader was left rather shell-shocked after finishing. I was in the same activities in secondary school and college (choir, swim team), Chee writes with inside knowledge. I liked the red hairs of Korean folklore and admire this particular strain of technical writing. My first Alexander Chee book and I am open to reading more.
But let's talk about the writing, because it's beguiling. Some have described it as a lullaby. To me, it captures well that surreal cotton wool quality where something terrible has happened, fracturing into a 'before' and 'after' yet normal life still continues despite one feeling like dying inside. Accordingly, there is a dissociative quality to the writing, as well as used as a coping mechanism.
Sexual abuse of minors is an abhorrent crime and we see the effects of the damage effervesce in each of the boys as they grow up.
I see why there have been comparisons to A Little Life and it boils down to plausibility. Have choir boys been sexually abused? For sure. In fact, while Chee was going into detail about the Kyries (medieval profession of praise and love to God) the choir was singing, underlay there was the bitter ironical knowledge of the numerous cases of boys sexually abused by Catholic priests.
The section where Fee is in college doing drugs is when I started disengaging. The writing is still splinteringly beautiful but it's normal sophomore experiences.
If we continue with this analogy, this reader was left rather shell-shocked after finishing. I was in the same activities in secondary school and college (choir, swim team), Chee writes with inside knowledge. I liked the red hairs of Korean folklore and admire this particular strain of technical writing. My first Alexander Chee book and I am open to reading more.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Adult/minor relationship, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Drug use, Homophobia, Alcohol, Grief, and Mental illness
lisbethleftwich's review
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual assault, Pedophilia, and Child abuse
julalbert56's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This novel has some of the most vivid, beautiful, unique writing I’ve ever experienced. Some scenes felt unnecessary to the story, and the mid-novel POV change was hard to get used to , though I understand its function. Overall an emotional, uncomfortable, moving read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, Self harm, Child abuse, Rape, Suicide, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, and Adult/minor relationship
Moderate: Addiction and Racism
sakisreads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
My friend recommended this to me, and although I was aware of the content warnings (which I’ll put below), I was unaware of the extent that this would affect me 🥲
It is clear that the aftermath of abuse is horrific and hard to read about. I would not recommend this to anyone going on their own healing journey with abuse.
However, this book was written so beautifully. Even as Aphias (Fee) struggled through his life and the trials and tribulations of it, you could tell he had a certain vibrancy that kept him going.
I also loved when Albright (Bridey) came into his life because that felt like it was somehow restoring some of the right into Fee’s world 🥹
I really grappled with this book, because with similar tones to My Dark Vanessa, it’s inconclusive ending felt as though it was cheating Fee out of something.Warden burning down Big Eric’s house was incredible, but is it bad that I kept wanting more bad things to happen to him? 🫠 Maybe it wasn’t a necessary narrative in Fee’s perspective!
I’m giving this book 4 out of 5 stars ✨ Thank you!
It is clear that the aftermath of abuse is horrific and hard to read about. I would not recommend this to anyone going on their own healing journey with abuse.
However, this book was written so beautifully. Even as Aphias (Fee) struggled through his life and the trials and tribulations of it, you could tell he had a certain vibrancy that kept him going.
I really grappled with this book, because with similar tones to My Dark Vanessa, it’s inconclusive ending felt as though it was cheating Fee out of something.
I’m giving this book 4 out of 5 stars ✨ Thank you!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Child abuse, Death, Suicide, Injury/Injury detail, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Adult/minor relationship, Child death, Pedophilia, and Self harm
emzireads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Fire/Fire injury, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual assault, and Child abuse
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship
kmartro's review against another edition
dark
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia
Moderate: Child abuse, Sexual assault, Suicide, Grief, Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, Vomit, and Drug abuse
Minor: Child death, Death, and Self harm
buttermellow's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Suicide, Child abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Child death, and Pedophilia
Moderate: Gun violence, Infidelity, Self harm, Suicide attempt, Grief, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Pregnancy and Racial slurs
ladylaurenexplorer's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
This one was hard for me. First the writing style is a little weird. I almost seems like its 3rd person & 1st person introspective. I will say that its a very heavy topic that is going on though out the story.
I think, I read this for my own feelings. I knew that it was going to be hard a some points, especially when it come to the deaths. But I found a little bit of peace with everything.
It’s so weird, I didn’t go through those situations. But we both survived our traumatic events. Yes we had loads of times that made us question the whys and why nots. The guilt and shame for what happened.
But where we differ, is the healing process. I got help and still have it. I didn’t lock it away and I wish Fee would look for this help.
I can’t recommend this, but I cannot as well. I think if you can stomach the situations them you could read this. I just won’t recommend this for a good majority of people.
This deals with SA, Pedo, Suicide, Ideations, and very heavy emotions.
I think, I read this for my own feelings. I knew that it was going to be hard a some points, especially when it come to the deaths. But I found a little bit of peace with everything.
It’s so weird, I didn’t go through those situations. But we both survived our traumatic events. Yes we had loads of times that made us question the whys and why nots. The guilt and shame for what happened.
But where we differ, is the healing process. I got help and still have it. I didn’t lock it away and I wish Fee would look for this help.
I can’t recommend this, but I cannot as well. I think if you can stomach the situations them you could read this. I just won’t recommend this for a good majority of people.
This deals with SA, Pedo, Suicide, Ideations, and very heavy emotions.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Death, and Pedophilia
tlaynejones's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.5
This book is beautifully written. However the subject matter is harrowing and I would recommend everyone check the CW before reading.
I almost gave this 5 stars, but it felt a little overly complicated at the end, so 4.5. Otherwise, the thoughtful way that Chee brings Fee to life, with all of his trauma, complications and vulnerability is superb. Highly recommended.
I almost gave this 5 stars, but it felt a little overly complicated at the end, so 4.5. Otherwise, the thoughtful way that Chee brings Fee to life, with all of his trauma, complications and vulnerability is superb. Highly recommended.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Gaslighting, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Self harm and Murder
Minor: Child death
cosmicpasta's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Child abuse, Suicide attempt, Sexual assault, and Suicide