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jamie_rc1977's review
3.0
“Neighborly?” I asked, fuming at this discovery. “You’re my neighbor?”
“Sure am, mate,” he responded with a grin. “Moved in last night.”
“Mate?” I asked a little cheekily. “Do you also drink Fosters and have a pet dingo?”
Since I had nothing to throw at him to potentially knock him out, I began wildly flinging my arms in his direction as though it would somehow prevent him from coming any closer to me.
Miraculously, he stopped in his tracks and scratched his head in confusion. “Um, are you throwing air at me?”
“Are you a murderer?”
“What?”
His words took me completely by surprise and broke me out of the spell I’d been under.
“It smells like a dead body in here,” he elaborated, glancing around the kitchen as he searched for the source of the smell.
Oh, crap. The mac and cheese.
“Bloody hell,” he remarked, peering into the sink before turning back around to look at me. “Remind me to never try your cooking.”
“That Thanh man!” she snapped, swinging her ponytail around like a lethal whip as she turned to me. “He won’t stop hitting on Henley and me.”
“He was hitting on Henley?” Arun dropped my hand and began scouring the room of dancing drunk people. “What was he saying?”
Uh oh. Was Arun about to ruin everything with his Henley suppressed feelings?
“Just ridiculous things, like if it hurt when I fell from Heaven,” Jac scoffed, her upper lip curling in disgust. “Oh, and that he must be hunting treasure because he was digging my chest.”
“Give me the phone!” Arun snapped in the background. “Listen to me carefully, Isla. Do you have your sexy talk down? Once you get in the bedroom, that’s all that matters.”
“I could improvise. I did study drama all through high school.”
“Okay, let’s hear something,” Arun prodded.
“Umm.” I wracked my brain for something that could come across as subtle, yet sexy. “What about this? I want your screwdriver in my nail socket.”
I dropped my voice to what I thought was a sultry tone. “I want your hammer in my wood pouch.”
“Wood pouch?” Jac spluttered in the background. “That’s not a real thing. Did you just make that up?”
“Oh, I put the tap in the sink.” I was relentless.
“No!” Arun gasped in horror. “Absolutely not!”
“I’m gonna hop on that pogo stick.”
“Stop it! Just stop it!” Arun chided on the other end of the line. “Maybe you should just pretend to be mute.”
“Literally,” Thanh translated in a hushed tone. “They’re chasing her out the door.”
This time I spluttered into my hand and tried to pass it off as a fit of coughing.
“What was that?” Arianne snapped, glaring at the both of us.
“Oh, nothing,” Thanh said nonchalantly, moving next to me, “I was just telling Isla that I’m so hungry I could eat a whore.”
“Excuse me?” she demanded, narrowing her eyes.
“Sorry, I meant to say horse,” he corrected smoothly, not missing a beat.
“I don’t know,” Leo said, shooting me a questioning look. “Do you want to join us, Buffy? We’re hanging out by my pool.”
Surprised by his invitation, I shook my head, dreading the idea of spending more time with Arianne and Kelley than was necessary. “I have things to do, like prune my bush.”
“Arun, seriously what the fuck are you wearing?” Henley demanded in disbelief.
“It’s my lounge wear,” he answered, strutting into the kitchen and striking several stomach churning poses. “It allows me to be stylish, yet comfortable. This is how girls do this, right?”
“You look like a Jedi stripper,” I blurted
“There’s my foreign cactus bloom.” Thanh stepped forward, grandly sweeping his hand in Jac’s direction. “Te extrano como una berenjena extrana la Luna.”
“You miss me like an eggplant misses the moon?” Jac asked, raising her perfectly shaped brows at him.
“Uh,” Thanh scratched his head. “Not what I was aiming for. Er, por favor ven y montate en mi chivo para dar una vuelta. Comeremos paja y nos divertiremos.”
“Excuse me?” Jac was growing very red in the face, like an inflatable tomato. “You want me to take a ride on your goat? And eat your what?” She stared around at the rest of us, hands on hips. “Was that supposed to be a racial stereotype joke? Are you saying Mexicans travel on goats
“Sure am, mate,” he responded with a grin. “Moved in last night.”
“Mate?” I asked a little cheekily. “Do you also drink Fosters and have a pet dingo?”
Since I had nothing to throw at him to potentially knock him out, I began wildly flinging my arms in his direction as though it would somehow prevent him from coming any closer to me.
Miraculously, he stopped in his tracks and scratched his head in confusion. “Um, are you throwing air at me?”
“Are you a murderer?”
“What?”
His words took me completely by surprise and broke me out of the spell I’d been under.
“It smells like a dead body in here,” he elaborated, glancing around the kitchen as he searched for the source of the smell.
Oh, crap. The mac and cheese.
“Bloody hell,” he remarked, peering into the sink before turning back around to look at me. “Remind me to never try your cooking.”
“That Thanh man!” she snapped, swinging her ponytail around like a lethal whip as she turned to me. “He won’t stop hitting on Henley and me.”
“He was hitting on Henley?” Arun dropped my hand and began scouring the room of dancing drunk people. “What was he saying?”
Uh oh. Was Arun about to ruin everything with his Henley suppressed feelings?
“Just ridiculous things, like if it hurt when I fell from Heaven,” Jac scoffed, her upper lip curling in disgust. “Oh, and that he must be hunting treasure because he was digging my chest.”
“Give me the phone!” Arun snapped in the background. “Listen to me carefully, Isla. Do you have your sexy talk down? Once you get in the bedroom, that’s all that matters.”
“I could improvise. I did study drama all through high school.”
“Okay, let’s hear something,” Arun prodded.
“Umm.” I wracked my brain for something that could come across as subtle, yet sexy. “What about this? I want your screwdriver in my nail socket.”
I dropped my voice to what I thought was a sultry tone. “I want your hammer in my wood pouch.”
“Wood pouch?” Jac spluttered in the background. “That’s not a real thing. Did you just make that up?”
“Oh, I put the tap in the sink.” I was relentless.
“No!” Arun gasped in horror. “Absolutely not!”
“I’m gonna hop on that pogo stick.”
“Stop it! Just stop it!” Arun chided on the other end of the line. “Maybe you should just pretend to be mute.”
“Literally,” Thanh translated in a hushed tone. “They’re chasing her out the door.”
This time I spluttered into my hand and tried to pass it off as a fit of coughing.
“What was that?” Arianne snapped, glaring at the both of us.
“Oh, nothing,” Thanh said nonchalantly, moving next to me, “I was just telling Isla that I’m so hungry I could eat a whore.”
“Excuse me?” she demanded, narrowing her eyes.
“Sorry, I meant to say horse,” he corrected smoothly, not missing a beat.
“I don’t know,” Leo said, shooting me a questioning look. “Do you want to join us, Buffy? We’re hanging out by my pool.”
Surprised by his invitation, I shook my head, dreading the idea of spending more time with Arianne and Kelley than was necessary. “I have things to do, like prune my bush.”
“Arun, seriously what the fuck are you wearing?” Henley demanded in disbelief.
“It’s my lounge wear,” he answered, strutting into the kitchen and striking several stomach churning poses. “It allows me to be stylish, yet comfortable. This is how girls do this, right?”
“You look like a Jedi stripper,” I blurted
“There’s my foreign cactus bloom.” Thanh stepped forward, grandly sweeping his hand in Jac’s direction. “Te extrano como una berenjena extrana la Luna.”
“You miss me like an eggplant misses the moon?” Jac asked, raising her perfectly shaped brows at him.
“Uh,” Thanh scratched his head. “Not what I was aiming for. Er, por favor ven y montate en mi chivo para dar una vuelta. Comeremos paja y nos divertiremos.”
“Excuse me?” Jac was growing very red in the face, like an inflatable tomato. “You want me to take a ride on your goat? And eat your what?” She stared around at the rest of us, hands on hips. “Was that supposed to be a racial stereotype joke? Are you saying Mexicans travel on goats
inkdrinkerpdx's review against another edition
2.0
I won this book from the author but it makes me really sad how much I don't like it. It's just all over the place. I can't stand any of the character and non of them were relatable. Too much awkwardness from Isla and I felt the author was trying to hard to make her so out there. I didn't feel the connection between Leo and l Isla at all.
I got to 30% of the book and it was just too painful I couldn't force myself to continue reading it.
I got to 30% of the book and it was just too painful I couldn't force myself to continue reading it.
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