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3.98 AVERAGE
3.98 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
While this book often felt like it did not apply to me (a trans man who was raised and socialized female) it gave a lot of good perspective onto the ways men have been raised, and ways it impacts all of us. I plan on recommending it to every friend of mine who is a guy. It is such an important message for men to hear and to spread.
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
A great read for men, boys, and especially fathers raising young men.
An excellent exploration into gender identity and how many traditional bastions of masculinity restrict rather than support, and what you can do about it.
An excellent exploration into gender identity and how many traditional bastions of masculinity restrict rather than support, and what you can do about it.
This book is useful to anyone. It examines a prevalent issue within society and offers solutions to challenge and rethink that. For the most part, the book is simply asking for people to examine their impact on others. I feel like the lack of self awareness in the angry one-star reviews just kinda drives that point home (it reminds me of in Good Omens when Crowley (who arrived at the crucifixion) asks what Jesus said to made everyone so angry and Aziraphale answers, "be kind to each other"). My only complaint is that the imbedded footnotes make the audiobook a bit tedious at times. Other than that I enjoyed the audiobook and Tom Max is a solid narrator. Thank you NetGalley and ECW Press Audio for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
informative
medium-paced
Thank you #NetGalley and @ECWAudio for the ALC
I am not the target market for this book as I am not male and I do not identify or present as masculine, however I am a wife, a sister, a daughter, a coworker and a friend so I was very interested. Manley is attempting to take their career as a writer for a website that marketed itself to CIS men combined with research to build a guide book to help challenge the version of masculinity that results in toxic behaviors and limits relationships. It was an interesting read, but I have read many of the arguments in this book before, but with a feminine byline… maybe if it has a male name the target males will finally listen.
This book is structured based on what American society has historically told men not to do or not to be, and then pushes back on each of these ideas. Maybe it is because I did not have these pressures as a CIS straight woman, but sometimes the structure felt a little reductive. Manley also chooses to use a lot of bro-language including slurs. The language at first felt like a way to connect and dismantle problematic ideas, however over the course of the book this becomes more and more cringy. There is a line that an author needs to walk when using these phrases and terms. There is an argument that it is highlighting problematic behavior, but because many of these phrases are centered on misogyny and homophobia the original power starts to wear off, leaving only a series of jokes that seem to punch down from the top of the American identity power structure.
This book also heavily focuses on sexuality and sex, which makes sense when discussing the heart of rape culture in the US and how to address it. Except that at points the focus of the authors on physicality seems a little over the top, again, I am not the target market, so I’m not sure if it is my own discomfort or if it is an actual problem. I will leave that up for discussion.
listen, I’m not the target audience here and I STILL found this deeply compelling, useful, and honestly very funny! Manley combines personal experience and professional experience (aKA working at ASK MEN DOT COM for like a decade) into something that feels like your older brother’s arm slung comfortingly over your shoulder after you lose a soccer game. In some ways this is a call to build your gender into something that serves you, and in some ways it’s a call for tenderness and vulnerability in the service of building and growing relationships, both platonic and romantic, and in some ways it’s like someone very smart and cool has taken you by the chin and gently but firmly said: do you REALLY want to be beholden to these systems of violence and power? Focus up. You can be better than that, so why not try it? The lessons in this book were useful to me in understanding where men are coming from, a lot of the time, and also personally helpful (as a once-teenager who often said she was NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS and also often said PAIN IS TEMPORARY AND CHICKS DIG SCARS, unironically) in ousting, or beginning to oust, the remnants of toxic masculinity that seep into a lot of personal identity-making regardless of gender. Whew! Anyway it’s great. Frankly, I dare all of the men in my life to read it. And you best believe I’ll be keeping an eye on those goodreads reviews to see who actually follows through
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
An important book, and one that I will recommend!
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Loved this approachable, insightful, and generous book. I was surprised by how explicitly it was written for young men, and loved how thoughtful and caring it was in the presentation of its discussions. It did a great job of walking the line between being inviting and validating of men's experiences, and really critical of masculinity and social norms. Most of all, despite being extremely readable I've been thinking about it constantly as I consume media and interact with various men in my life. I learned a lot, both about the men I love and about myself and my relationship to my own masculinity (as a cis woman). It's a very timely, important book that's very much itself.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content
funny
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
inspiring
fast-paced
I love love love love this book. I’d be thrilled if it got into the hands of young men; clear, persuasive, and honest advice to make your life better. It immediately made me reassess my relationship to seeing the doctor and cleaning at parties. As a non-binary Canadian writer (and all around interesting person) Alex Manley has written a book that deserves to shoot Jordan Peterson’s rules for life out of the stratosphere.