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leahroyelle's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
After you read the book (but not before), read about the author's journey
kayebee13's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
lynnebetweenthelines's review
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
hgoravec's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Read for a Berklee book club pick. I did suggest we read a queer book for Pride Month! Although I'm not sure if I'll be able to go to the meeting.
Anyway. I have to say, I wasn't super excited about this book, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, it captures a very specific moment of teenage experience: NYC, 9/11, queer and cringe. The book is told in alternating present-tense narration of the high school years, often with our main duo Fay and Nell referred to as one unit. Then, switching to chapters with Fay and Nell as individuals about 15 years later, reflecting on those same events. I would have liked to see more of their present lives, especially with this framing device, there's a bit of a remove that feels very much arrested development.
Fay is a gay trans man, though she doesn't know it yet (and is consistently referred to with she/her pronouns throughout the book). She is sheltered and enigmatic, clearly yearning for ... something but she doesn't know what. She is also cruel, abusive, and so self-sacrificing/destructive that at the end of the book, she disappears, and even though she lives in the same building, no one finds her. She erases herself, and it's a fitting metaphor for erasing her female identity. Her self-reflective/destructive behavior with Theo is disturbing to say the least.
Nell is a lesbian who recognizes the queerness of Fay, but not the specific flavor. Nell is obsessed with Fay, and it's hard to know how much of it is a crush, and how much is obsessive. Nell is also navigating being one of the only openly queer students, at a time when in theory it's okay to be gay, but in reality ... not so much. She reminds me a lot of some people I went to high school with -- we all knew Chris was gay, but you didn't really talk about it.
Because of the narrative framing, you get a peak into how the shared recollections differ, and especially with college applications how differently they react and interpret the same issues. You get the sense that both Fay and Nell had created a version of the other, while it's true that we all do that to some extent, the disconnect is striking.
There is a lot of cringe in the novel. Part of this is because all teenagers are cringey, but especially us millennials who were forever marked by 9/11, but not always in ways we recognized. The LiveJournal and AIM and not recognizing when adults were inappropriate... oof. It's hard to read.
Their Quaker school has some interesting adults. Jimmy Frye the IT guy is disgusting, and again it is hard to read. But also Wanda the drama teacher and her prologue to Othello, even Ms Spider. It was an interesting insight into a different schooling system, and I would have liked to see more of the tension of a Quaker school being experienced by non-Quakers.
The other classmates are interesting side characters that don't get nearly enough attention. In particular Bottom, the Black performer who is constantly code-switching, is beaten as Othello, and almost becomes friends with Nell but not really, is more interesting to me. The other secretly queer students as well, and there's this impression of queer as a sexuality, but also queer as an outsider. Sometimes what makes someone queer is not their sexuality or gender identity, but this intangible otherness. I appreciate the epilogue, especially Nell's chapter, that illuminates all these other aspects of life at Idlewild that she couldn't see because of her friendship/dependance on Fay.
Fay's epilogue on the other hand makes me sad. It reminds me too much of depressed friends who can't see a way out, and are still yearning for something that can never be. The interaction with adult Theo and Christopher is a lot to handle. A nice connection that Fay buys Nell's ticket, but seeing that Christopher is still enabling Theo, oof it's a lot.
Not sure how I feel about this one, so it's getting a 3 star.
Anyway. I have to say, I wasn't super excited about this book, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, it captures a very specific moment of teenage experience: NYC, 9/11, queer and cringe. The book is told in alternating present-tense narration of the high school years, often with our main duo Fay and Nell referred to as one unit. Then, switching to chapters with Fay and Nell as individuals about 15 years later, reflecting on those same events. I would have liked to see more of their present lives, especially with this framing device, there's a bit of a remove that feels very much arrested development.
Fay is a gay trans man, though she doesn't know it yet (and is consistently referred to with she/her pronouns throughout the book). She is sheltered and enigmatic, clearly yearning for ... something but she doesn't know what. She is also cruel, abusive, and so self-sacrificing/destructive that at the end of the book, she disappears, and even though she lives in the same building, no one finds her. She erases herself, and it's a fitting metaphor for erasing her female identity. Her self-reflective/destructive behavior with Theo is disturbing to say the least.
Nell is a lesbian who recognizes the queerness of Fay, but not the specific flavor. Nell is obsessed with Fay, and it's hard to know how much of it is a crush, and how much is obsessive. Nell is also navigating being one of the only openly queer students, at a time when in theory it's okay to be gay, but in reality ... not so much. She reminds me a lot of some people I went to high school with -- we all knew Chris was gay, but you didn't really talk about it.
Because of the narrative framing, you get a peak into how the shared recollections differ, and especially with college applications how differently they react and interpret the same issues. You get the sense that both Fay and Nell had created a version of the other, while it's true that we all do that to some extent, the disconnect is striking.
There is a lot of cringe in the novel. Part of this is because all teenagers are cringey, but especially us millennials who were forever marked by 9/11, but not always in ways we recognized. The LiveJournal and AIM and not recognizing when adults were inappropriate... oof. It's hard to read.
Their Quaker school has some interesting adults. Jimmy Frye the IT guy is disgusting, and again it is hard to read. But also Wanda the drama teacher and her prologue to Othello, even Ms Spider. It was an interesting insight into a different schooling system, and I would have liked to see more of the tension of a Quaker school being experienced by non-Quakers.
The other classmates are interesting side characters that don't get nearly enough attention. In particular Bottom, the Black performer who is constantly code-switching, is beaten as Othello, and almost becomes friends with Nell but not really, is more interesting to me. The other secretly queer students as well, and there's this impression of queer as a sexuality, but also queer as an outsider. Sometimes what makes someone queer is not their sexuality or gender identity, but this intangible otherness. I appreciate the epilogue, especially Nell's chapter, that illuminates all these other aspects of life at Idlewild that she couldn't see because of her friendship/dependance on Fay.
Fay's epilogue on the other hand makes me sad. It reminds me too much of depressed friends who can't see a way out, and are still yearning for something that can never be. The interaction with adult Theo and Christopher is a lot to handle. A nice connection that Fay buys Nell's ticket, but seeing that Christopher is still enabling Theo, oof it's a lot.
Not sure how I feel about this one, so it's getting a 3 star.
i_have_worms's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
mishnah's review against another edition
dark
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
mynameisprerna's review against another edition
4.0
I saw another review that said “Did you ever have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two never talking again or are you normal?” and that is just such a delightful encapsulation!
This book is complicated and messy, which is fitting, because being queer and in high school is complicated and messy. And as complicated and messy as it is today, it was interesting to read about it in the context of my own high school years. (I was in 9th grade on September 11, 2001 - the same grade as Theo and Christopher.)
So much is left unresolved, and I’m not sure if it was purposeful, but it left me itchy. That’s especially the case for two things:
1.What the fuck was actually up with Christopher and Theo? Why did Christopher actually agree to let Theo live with him? What did he mean when he was saying that he knows Theo well enough to head off angry outbursts? Why did they remain so close? Why did Christopher transfer colleges to be with Theo?
2.Fay’s struggles with gender being unresolved felt painful, and almost cruel. I so appreciated her journey of understanding herself and her relationship to homoerotic media and her obsession with Theo. But then… what? She just stagnated? All through the aughts and 20-teens? She encountered students that led her to deeper understanding and she bought a binder, but that’s all? She sort of expressed being too old, but lots of people in the 20s in the 20-teens and in their 30s in the 2020s have transitioned. It felt so raw and upsetting.
It was interesting to me thatwe never really got Chris and Theo’s reactions to the Fawn Fic. Maybe they really didn’t care beyond thinking it was weird and then trying to entrap Nell and Fay. But I wanted Nell and Fay to reckon more sincerely with how their creative project that offered them processing and growing space was ultimately a huge violation for Theo and Christopher.
This book is complicated and messy, which is fitting, because being queer and in high school is complicated and messy. And as complicated and messy as it is today, it was interesting to read about it in the context of my own high school years. (I was in 9th grade on September 11, 2001 - the same grade as Theo and Christopher.)
So much is left unresolved, and I’m not sure if it was purposeful, but it left me itchy. That’s especially the case for two things:
1.
2.
It was interesting to me that
isabelrstev's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
tense
3.25
kevincanada's review
dark
emotional
funny
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
lydiahephzibah's review
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Setting: new York
Rep: fat Jewish lesbian protagonist; queer/trans Jewish protagonist; multiple queer and POC side characters
This has been sitting on my Netgalley shelf for more than a year and I am glad I finally got round to it as it's a great book! A very slow read, heavy on the characters and light on plot, but I did feel invested in their lives and relationships and mishaps.
Rep: fat Jewish lesbian protagonist; queer/trans Jewish protagonist; multiple queer and POC side characters
This has been sitting on my Netgalley shelf for more than a year and I am glad I finally got round to it as it's a great book! A very slow read, heavy on the characters and light on plot, but I did feel invested in their lives and relationships and mishaps.