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Reviews
The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook by Ellen McCarthy
carlaah1984's review against another edition
3.0
While some advice is good, parts are funny or heartfelt it didnt wow me. While it was nice to hear of her marriage has an example it got a bit annoying how often it came up or how prefect it is.
zelma's review against another edition
2.0
Not quite what I expected. Rather than detailed stories of married couples from the Washington Post, it felt more like a breezy collections of columns and snippets of self-help cliches from your best girlfriend. It was a fluffy, light version of Carrie Bradshaw, minus the cosmos and sex. The stories and couples I expected only showed up randomly and as small mentions. There were a few gems in there, but overall it felt very safe, surface-level navel-gazing, and ultimately offered nothing new.
violets_mom's review against another edition
3.0
In short, "meh." This book reminded me a lot of The Defining Decade by Meg Jay. Ultimately I prefer that book much more. Jay does a better job of relating to young-ish adults and offering advice that doesn't seem didactic.
christine_queenofbooks's review
4.0
This was lovely. But it wasn't quite what I was looking for.
McCarthy's bio says "she's interviewed hundreds of couples and for four years spent almost all of her Saturday nights lurking in the shadows of other people's weddings." Awesome! That's what I want to hear about: Fun anecdotes from couple's relationships, things that went terribly wrong or beautifully right at weddings, and so on. And this book does have that...
But it also works in social scientific findings and poll results. The research findings were well-presented for a general audience, and she references several of the heavy-hitters in psychology. I hated to see those findings given the same treatment as polls conducted among non-probability samples who opted in to the surveys. (We might expect people who happened to see the survey invitation, and chose to take it, to have different opinions & experiences than those who did not... but I digress.)
To me, the book was at its best when McCarthy was talking about dating, breakups and weddings - perhaps because she's had the most personal experience with those. The material on commitment and making it last just didn't interest me as much (though those are the topics from which we could all learn the most). I enjoyed McCarthy's voice and would read another book by her (in fact, what I'm really saying is that I wish this book had MORE of her personal experiences as a wedding reporter and less everything else...). This book has enough gems weaved through that, despite not wholeheartedly loving it in its entirety (as I did in the beginning), I really liked it.
McCarthy's bio says "she's interviewed hundreds of couples and for four years spent almost all of her Saturday nights lurking in the shadows of other people's weddings." Awesome! That's what I want to hear about: Fun anecdotes from couple's relationships, things that went terribly wrong or beautifully right at weddings, and so on. And this book does have that...
But it also works in social scientific findings and poll results. The research findings were well-presented for a general audience, and she references several of the heavy-hitters in psychology. I hated to see those findings given the same treatment as polls conducted among non-probability samples who opted in to the surveys. (We might expect people who happened to see the survey invitation, and chose to take it, to have different opinions & experiences than those who did not... but I digress.)
To me, the book was at its best when McCarthy was talking about dating, breakups and weddings - perhaps because she's had the most personal experience with those. The material on commitment and making it last just didn't interest me as much (though those are the topics from which we could all learn the most). I enjoyed McCarthy's voice and would read another book by her (in fact, what I'm really saying is that I wish this book had MORE of her personal experiences as a wedding reporter and less everything else...). This book has enough gems weaved through that, despite not wholeheartedly loving it in its entirety (as I did in the beginning), I really liked it.
brothena's review
2.0
Heard this book mentioned as a recommendation for a bride-to-be on the "What Should I Read Next Podcast". I figured it would be a nice, light read as my last several had been on the heavier side. Consumed on my kindle.
Overall, this book is a series of unrelated short stories, most of which highlight a couple the author had interviewed, highlighting a piece of pearl of advice. Perhaps because I am married, I did find most of the chapters, "dating", "commitment", "breakups" & "weddings" super speedread-easy and found "marriage" to be the most engaging and thought provoking by A LOT.
The earlier chapters read very much like distilled down Sex and the City episodes. In one story, for example, I was so reminded of a scene where they talk about how some men just have a switch that turns on like a cab's light when they're ready for commitment and the next woman they're with will be their wife. It's all very airy and quick and you never get into any particular couple's story too in-depth.
I enjoyed reading this while in proximity to my husband so I could remark on some of the weirder things in this book. Like suggesting that he try to hold my hand the next time we are arguing and see how that goes (I anticipate not well) as suggested. Or when I was stunned by the statistic that apparently ~15% of people have cheated on their partner, thinking this was high. (He was also surprised, thinking it was LOW?? )
I found myself thinking a lot (maybe because I'm coming off of I am not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter) of my parents' marriage and how much of this did not apply to them. It initially made me sad to think about their lack of conventional Western romance, but may say more about this book aggrandizing only a certain type of union. There's not a lot of cultural diversity here, definitely worth noting.
Overall, this was a light, fast, pleasant read that's a mix between Chicken Soup for the Soul and 100 white women each telling you a 30-second story they think will help you succeed in romance, even if they contradict one another. Would recommend to anyone that appeals to. This book is like a forgettable sweet acquaintance you would describe by saying is "nice" because that's really the most apt and only descriptor. I can almost guarantee I will retain very little of this.
Overall, this book is a series of unrelated short stories, most of which highlight a couple the author had interviewed, highlighting a piece of pearl of advice. Perhaps because I am married, I did find most of the chapters, "dating", "commitment", "breakups" & "weddings" super speedread-easy and found "marriage" to be the most engaging and thought provoking by A LOT.
The earlier chapters read very much like distilled down Sex and the City episodes. In one story, for example, I was so reminded of a scene where they talk about how some men just have a switch that turns on like a cab's light when they're ready for commitment and the next woman they're with will be their wife. It's all very airy and quick and you never get into any particular couple's story too in-depth.
I enjoyed reading this while in proximity to my husband so I could remark on some of the weirder things in this book. Like suggesting that he try to hold my hand the next time we are arguing and see how that goes (I anticipate not well) as suggested. Or when I was stunned by the statistic that apparently ~15% of people have cheated on their partner, thinking this was high. (He was also surprised, thinking it was LOW?? )
I found myself thinking a lot (maybe because I'm coming off of I am not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter) of my parents' marriage and how much of this did not apply to them. It initially made me sad to think about their lack of conventional Western romance, but may say more about this book aggrandizing only a certain type of union. There's not a lot of cultural diversity here, definitely worth noting.
Overall, this was a light, fast, pleasant read that's a mix between Chicken Soup for the Soul and 100 white women each telling you a 30-second story they think will help you succeed in romance, even if they contradict one another. Would recommend to anyone that appeals to. This book is like a forgettable sweet acquaintance you would describe by saying is "nice" because that's really the most apt and only descriptor. I can almost guarantee I will retain very little of this.
everydayreading's review
3.0
This was a quick fun non-fiction read all about relationships, dating, weddings, and marriage. Also made me so glad not to be planning a wedding.