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emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Right off the bat, Felix was very relatable. He was at times selfish, thoughtless, and a bit rash. He also wasn't very practical. Like wanting to get into Brown but not putting into the amount of work, he logically should have been putting in. But honestly I'm not gonna judge him too harshly for that because it's obvious that subconsciously he wasn't really set on that goal anyway. Not to mention, he's human and we aren't always logical in the ways that we technically should be.
I did like how Callender allowed Felix to make mistakes without making him too unlikable. Like he was a very genuine person throughout his mistakes and when he realized that Declan wasn't the person who posted the gallery he let it go pretty quickly. Sometimes authors make the characters act in dumb ways despite it very obviously being the wrong thing just for drama so I liked that Felix had enough self-awareness that he went back and forth between doing the wrong thing and owning up when he was wrong.
Not to mention, I too want to fall in love in order to feel something and want to feel deserving of love.
Ezra was a babe throughout the entire thing. Even with his minor flaws, he was pretty chill. Love that for him.
Now one of my issues with the book is the writing. Someone on booktok called it 'diary-like' and I'd have to agree. Like some points did feel more telling than showing to me. Some of the transitions weren't really smooth in terms of emotions. Like I would have loved to get into the ache a bit more. But it wasn't to the point where the book is unbearable.
HATED all the Harry Potter references. As someone who is gen-z and has had a very intense Harry Potter phase, I can guarantee you no one makes that many Harry Potter references. As the likelihood of the majority of a gen-z friend group being huge Potterheads is unrealistic. Even so, it was just doing too much. But I heard that Callenender is taking out the references because JK Rowling is a TERF. So thank the little mercies.
Some of the book felt unrealistic to me. Like it was just done for the convenience of the plot. No fucking way did Felix just happen to see Ezra across the street during the Pride Parade and everything stops just for them to have their moment. Nope, would not happen. And the way that the school worked just felt weird to me. Like kids just smoking blatantly in the parking lot. Around the corner in the park sure but on school property??? Idgaf how rich the school is, shit doesn't make any sense.
Despite those grievances, I'd def reread this book. Not like instantly but if I wanted to have a pick me up or get out of a reading slump, this would be the book to read. What really made me look past the flaws was the overall message. I like the concept of letting go of people who hurt us. It was realistic that some things just go unresolved. I'm looking at you, Felix's deadbeat mom I also liked that Declan didn't forgive Felix. The fact that they actually acknowledged they were bad for each other was so fucking satisfying. Like, let's look at it realistically. They both wanted the Brown spot, and only one of them could get it. How would they handle the fact that one of them lost while their relationship still being relatively new? Answer: Very badly. Not to mention, Ezra did treat Felix like shit for three years for no valid reason. Like I understood why he did it but I wouldn't be able to let it go fully. I'd be just a bit suspicious that he'd slip up and be mean. Lastly, any relationship that starts with catfishing, regardless of the reason why, is just a no. Like, stop. Also, why would you, a transguy, want to date someone who you, just a month ago, thought was the transphobic asshole who outed you??? So yeah, Callender gets props for the wonderful bout of emotional maturity that was the awkward bedroom scene.
Also, the rep was really fucking good. It didn't feel forced. They were just queer kids of color being kids. None of them fell into stereotypes. Like even the worst characters fucking Marisol and Austin had hints of complexity. Which doesn't change my opinion of them but makes me appreciate Callender for displaying people doing bad things while also still being people. Like sometimes the "bad guys" in the story can be exaggerated to the point of being cartoonish which takes away from the actual pain of the main character. I didn't feel that in this story.
There's also the romance aspect. I know some people felt it was a bit rushed which I can see with Declan falling for Felix but at the same time I kind of get it. Like Declan's a really lonely guy, so it's not unbelievable that he'd fall fast and hard for someone who made him feel less lonely. I wanted Ezra to be the one Felix ended up with since chapter one, so I don't think their relationship was too rushed. Like I was picking up the signals since the mf beginning. Do wish we got to see more cute times and that Felix liking him back was hinted at earlier but I'll take what i can get tbh.
Finally, the scene ofFelix kicking Declan's chair out from under him was fucking hilarious.
I did like how Callender allowed Felix to make mistakes without making him too unlikable. Like he was a very genuine person throughout his mistakes and when he realized that
Not to mention, I too want to fall in love in order to feel something and want to feel deserving of love.
Ezra was a babe throughout the entire thing. Even with his minor flaws, he was pretty chill. Love that for him.
Now one of my issues with the book is the writing. Someone on booktok called it 'diary-like' and I'd have to agree. Like some points did feel more telling than showing to me. Some of the transitions weren't really smooth in terms of emotions. Like I would have loved to get into the ache a bit more. But it wasn't to the point where the book is unbearable.
HATED all the Harry Potter references. As someone who is gen-z and has had a very intense Harry Potter phase, I can guarantee you no one makes that many Harry Potter references. As the likelihood of the majority of a gen-z friend group being huge Potterheads is unrealistic. Even so, it was just doing too much. But I heard that Callenender is taking out the references because JK Rowling is a TERF. So thank the little mercies.
Some of the book felt unrealistic to me. Like it was just done for the convenience of the plot.
Despite those grievances, I'd def reread this book. Not like instantly but if I wanted to have a pick me up or get out of a reading slump, this would be the book to read. What really made me look past the flaws was the overall message. I like the concept of letting go of people who hurt us. It was realistic that some things just go unresolved.
Also, the rep was really fucking good. It didn't feel forced. They were just queer kids of color being kids. None of them fell into stereotypes. Like even the worst characters
There's also the romance aspect.
Finally, the scene of
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Outing
Minor: Emotional abuse, Racism
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
This book is was missing just one thing: Poly. Multiple times throughout the story I was like: This better be poly. This is perfect for poly. If this doesn't end in poly I'll be so mad. It felt so heavily hinted at that I was convinced it was going to happen! And then it didn't... very sad about that. We need MORE poly in books, I'm just saying!
Also, the way the romance to came together at the end without any real in depth look or discussion between the characters was another thing I felt was missing.
Also, the fall out of Declan and Felix's relationship - happening literally within a day -, especially with Declan auto assuming sex (but he respectfully stops!) and the link between the old man at the beginning being his grandad < a bit too cheesy for me. I really wish Declan and Felix had properly talked about it and tried to work on it. Because they clearly like each other -- which is why I thought we'd be getting POLY!! -- they just need to properly talk about the catfishing, and working through their history of misunderstandings, and figuring out how to communicate first as friends again. But it pretty much got completely thrown away (even though it's a major part of the book) within a chapter. Such a shame. I am asking once again for poly.
Besides that, pretty much PERFECT!
Good Points:
I cried multiple times!
I enjoyed seeing Felix learn to grow and love himself and check stuff out.
I really really liked how we don't know his deadname. We're never told it which is how it should be. Because that's not Felix. That's not who he is. Felix is Felix.
I love how his friends wouldn't stand for bs such a racism and transphobia.
Sure Felix annoyed me a few times but he's just being a teen right? Jumping to conclusions or getting angry at stuff before properly thinking things through or considering the other person's POV -- especially with his dad. I was annoyed at Felix for being annoyed at his dad -- I understand WHY he was annoyed at his dad but I could also see dad's POV and what he's going through.
An example where Felix annoyed me was when his dad starts opening up and yes he brings up Felix using the pill because yes he can still get pregnant, but Felix flies off the handle with it. He gives his dad such a hard time. And it hurt to see to be honest.
Also, the way the romance to came together at the end without any real in depth look or discussion between the characters was another thing I felt was missing.
Besides that, pretty much PERFECT!
Good Points:
I cried multiple times!
I enjoyed seeing Felix learn to grow and love himself and check stuff out.
I really really liked how we don't know his deadname. We're never told it which is how it should be. Because that's not Felix. That's not who he is. Felix is Felix.
I love how his friends wouldn't stand for bs such a racism and transphobia.
Sure Felix annoyed me a few times but he's just being a teen right? Jumping to conclusions or getting angry at stuff before properly thinking things through or considering the other person's POV -- especially with his dad. I was annoyed at Felix for being annoyed at his dad -- I understand WHY he was annoyed at his dad but I could also see dad's POV and what he's going through.
An example where Felix annoyed me was when his dad starts opening up and yes he brings up Felix using the pill because yes he can still get pregnant, but Felix flies off the handle with it. He gives his dad such a hard time. And it hurt to see to be honest.
But teens... so dramatic at time *hehe*
While I could see teens being teens, I could also see points of the story that felt a little too adult-sounding. Like when they pointed out pretty quickly that Felix projecting and they ask if he's worthy of love. I get it. But at the same time, are 17 year olds really that observant and mature? I certainly wasn't! Maybe teens have changed a lot over the last 10 years since I've been one but I feel like they kids were a little too mature to notice this stuff and point it out. I totally see standing up for your friends and pointing out racism and transphobia as a teen but spotting someone who is projecting was a little too unrealistic for me. But like I said, maybe teens have changed in the last decade.
While I could see teens being teens, I could also see points of the story that felt a little too adult-sounding. Like when they pointed out pretty quickly that Felix projecting and they ask if he's worthy of love. I get it. But at the same time, are 17 year olds really that observant and mature? I certainly wasn't! Maybe teens have changed a lot over the last 10 years since I've been one but I feel like they kids were a little too mature to notice this stuff and point it out. I totally see standing up for your friends and pointing out racism and transphobia as a teen but spotting someone who is projecting was a little too unrealistic for me. But like I said, maybe teens have changed in the last decade.
Note to myself: I figured out who the culprit was about 40% into the book.
More Good Points:
I enjoyed this book so much! Honestly, the complaints I do have are so minute and really don't matter and they don't discredit how much I was into this book. I was so sucked in, it took me an afternoon to read completely. I could not put it down! Amazing! So Good!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Transphobia
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia
Moderate: Deadnaming
Minor: Racism
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
4 5 Stars. I really enjoyed this book. Not only was it from a unique perspective, it was also committed to being honest and frank. One of the greatest things I think this book does I'd contribute to and foster conversation about gender identity and sexual orientation. Filled with wonderful insight and a few new-to-me terms, it was a fun story despite the transphobia, homophobia, and racism. It was amazing to have an intersectional look at a character. Felix is trans, queer, and black. It's a perspective we don't get very often at all.
My drawbacks were the pacing was a little slow at times and I really didn't like how with each new direct message (DM) on Instagram we began at the beginning of the conversation to see the new message. It just took the wind out of the sails for me. But it didn't happen very often, so that's good. Another quibble is how I know Felix is 17 and all, but damn can he come across a little immature and amazingly single minded. From the fixation on every new possible transphobic suspect to how he can hyper focus on how his dad won't use his name, Felix just comes across as though he is immature masquerading as mature. With his dad, he never once considers the changes his dad has gone through and has to go through. Another gripe is how quickly turns happen with explosive emotional moments and then they seem to disappear - like with (no spoilers!) finding out someone you thought you knew is actually a transphobe and yet it just seems like they are still around in the background with other friends of yours.
Overall, however, it was an interesting take on a suspenseful mystery mixed with a little MM romance love triangle sort of thing, mixed with a self exploration of identity. Just plain identity in all its iterations. I really recommend this to anyone who has felt lost, anyone in the LGBTQ community, or anyone who wants to know what it's like being queer in our "enlightened" age.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Homophobia, Transphobia
Moderate: Cursing, Drug use, Racism, Sexism, Abandonment, Alcohol
Minor: Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship
emotional
funny
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Homophobia, Racism, Transphobia, Abandonment
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
after reading so many sad and serious books, i needed to read something happy, and felix ever after is exactly the type of book i was looking for. the amount of love i have for this book, for all of the main characters, is indescribable. i absolutely loved the representation, and i actually feel like crying because i've finished this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Racism, Transphobia
emotional
hopeful
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Racism
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Transphobia, Outing
Minor: Cursing, Drug use, Homophobia, Racism, Religious bigotry, Murder, Lesbophobia, Alcohol, Dysphoria
adventurous
emotional
inspiring
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Homophobia, Racism, Transphobia, Xenophobia, Outing, Classism
Moderate: Biphobia, Toxic relationship, Dysphoria
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
*4.5 stars*
"It's easier to accept hurt and pain, sometimes, than love and acceptance."
Look at me! I'm late for the party! Again! Honestly, because of the hype that this book got when it let's try". Turns out I really liked this book. It has really good character development (especially when it comes to issues of identity). True, sometimes, Felix came across as a little whiny to me (look, I understand that a lot that happened in the book was horrible, and for the most part I was on team "Felix", but there were instances when I was rolling my eyes because I don't have patience for "teen/ schoolyard bullshit"), but I still was rooting for him and I really liked his development as a character because that development felt realistic and measured, not rushed.
Another thing that I really appreciated was the pacing. Things were not rushed and everything fell into place at the right time, giving time to the characters to digest everything good and bad that happened. It also gave time to the readers to get to know the major characters. Also, I couldn't figure out who was the one to outed Felix, and that's a thing that I liked about books that involved mysteries because it gets me engaged in the book.
I think that the only thing a little more negative that I have to say is that I don't agree with the end. Look, this has nothing to do with the book itself because the end actually makes a lot of sense, it just that the trope used its not my kind of trope. It's more of a "me thing" than a "book thing".
Overall, I really recommend this book. It's a solid story about discovering your identity, perfect for every lover of "YA" literature.
"It's easier to accept hurt and pain, sometimes, than love and acceptance."
Look at me! I'm late for the party! Again! Honestly, because of the hype that this book got when it let's try". Turns out I really liked this book. It has really good character development (especially when it comes to issues of identity). True, sometimes, Felix came across as a little whiny to me (look, I understand that a lot that happened in the book was horrible, and for the most part I was on team "Felix", but there were instances when I was rolling my eyes because I don't have patience for "teen/ schoolyard bullshit"), but I still was rooting for him and I really liked his development as a character because that development felt realistic and measured, not rushed.
Another thing that I really appreciated was the pacing. Things were not rushed and everything fell into place at the right time, giving time to the characters to digest everything good and bad that happened. It also gave time to the readers to get to know the major characters. Also, I couldn't figure out who was the one to outed Felix, and that's a thing that I liked about books that involved mysteries because it gets me engaged in the book.
I think that the only thing a little more negative that I have to say is that I don't agree with the end. Look, this has nothing to do with the book itself because the end actually makes a lot of sense
Spoiler
(but, I'm a sucker for the "enemies to lovers" trope and, because of that, I would prefer that Felix ended up with Declan instead of Ezra)Overall, I really recommend this book. It's a solid story about discovering your identity, perfect for every lover of "YA" literature.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Transphobia, Religious bigotry, Outing, Gaslighting, Dysphoria
Moderate: Drug use, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol
Minor: Sexual content