Reviews with content warning for Gaslighting - Felix Ever After

Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

47 reviews

jessidk's review against another edition

3.0

emotional reflective tense fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Content Warnings

miraclesantana's review against another edition

5.0

hopeful medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Content Warnings

amy_reading_23's review against another edition

5.0

emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Kacen Callender is just an amazing author!!! I really love their writing style, it's so beautiful, and also so affirming. I've wanted to read "Felix Ever After" for years and I'm glad I got around to it!

One of the things I like about Kacen's writing is that their characters are always complex and two-dimensional - like human beings, they make mistakes. And yes Felix does make some pretty big mistakes in this, but he also learns from it and takes accountability and grows. I love so many of the messages at the end, and I think that's what tipped it over to five stars for me, the messages of self love and acceptance and not chasing people's love who only hurt you.

I will say that this book is also sadder than I thought it would be! Felix goes through some really tough things, including horrible transphobia and bullying. I found that a bit hard sometimes, but I promise the end is worth it.

I also liked that Felix is questioning his identity throughout the book, as this is not something that is frequently talked about, but is something I've experienced and I know many others have to. A lot of this book as really relatable. The guilt, the confusion, the trying his best. It's just really well done.

I also loved Ezra and Felix's dynamic. Ezra was just such a good ally to felix and always so ready to defend him and celebrate his trans identity. I loved this!

I also thought the sub-plot with his mom was interesting. As someone who has some family in my life that I no longer talk to/no longer talk to me, I know how hard it is, and how much of a hole it rips into your being. I thought this was handled sensitively.

The discussions on privilege were also interesting, particular in relation to Ezra who is super- rich but has neglectful parents.

Overall it's just a great read and I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys YA/romance and wants to learn more about trans issues 🏳️‍⚧️❤️

Also, about who the transphobe is:

I am putting this here as I am the kind of neurodivergent where sometimes I need to know a spoiler to help me get through something, which was the case here; after I was about halfway through I skipped ahead to find out who it was as it was killing me, so if you're like me and would like to know, then the answer is: Austin

Content Warnings

jillaay_h's review against another edition

2.0

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: No

Content Warnings

readandfindout's review against another edition

3.75

emotional medium-paced

Style/writing: 3 stars
Themes: 4.5 stars
Characters: 3.5 stars
Plot: 4 stars

Content Warnings

caramelie's review against another edition

4.75

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Merci Felix de m’encourager, dans les mots d’Alok Vaid Menon, à avoir le courage de me briser le cœur moi-même.

J’ai retiré 0,25 pour les quelques répétitions qui n’ont en rien changé le fait que ce livre va rester avec moi très longtemps.

Ce livre m’a fait ressentir des émotions similaires à, voire plus intenses que, I Wish All the Best. Je recommande donc aux personnes qui ont aimé I Wish You All the Best de lire Felix Ever After et aux personnes qui ont aimé Felix Ever After de lire I Wish You All The Best.

Content Warnings

arielwip's review against another edition

3.5

challenging emotional informative reflective tense medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: No

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

Overall, I enjoyed parts of the book and, while the characters annoyed me, I did still appreciate the craft and the journey and the occasional emotional connection.

Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Outing, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment

Moderate: Cursing, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Alcohol, Dysphoria

Minor: Drug use, Classism

I found Felix a bit

repetitive and contradictory towards the beginning of the book. If I wasn’t on a buddy-read I might’ve given up at some point in the first third of the book. But since the book is written in the present tense exclusively from Felix’s perspective in the first person, I wasn’t sure if it was bad writing or just a terribly good representation of a 17-year-old’s trauma brain, so I gave it the benefit of the doubt. As the character developed, the repetition subsided and he became aware of his contradictions. There were different phases of the book in which the writing kinda changed because of Felix’s growing self-understanding.

The groups of teens chatting

were obviously used as a vehicle to address many tropes and present the generally accepted opinions and ongoing discussion in the community at the moment. It was obvious, but the topics being discussed fitted into the different parts of story, which now makes me realise that a lot of effort must have gone into crafting that aspect of the book. While I recognised all of these themes and the details, a 17-year-old reading this might not be aware of it all, and so I feel this is all quite valuable. There are other aspects of the book that aim to make the book seem real and relatable, and that’s obviously especially true of intersectional folk. All-in-all that makes the book a great resource for younger intersectional folk, and younger folk in general. I’m not sure what a younger hetero-cis person would make of this… maybe it could shape how they see trans and queer folks, and maybe their own place in relation to us.

Felix thought that

all older trans folk have it all figured out. It may not be important to the target audience, I don’t know, but the author missed a trick in Bex’s gender discussion group where all the older folks really did have it all figured out. This is such a shame, as it’s really not like this in real life. If one of the older folks in the group had been there with some of Felix’s questions, then I might’ve seen myself represented in this book. I was also frustrated that Felix had so many more questions than the one they asked, and not all of these were answered by rest of the group’s discussions.

But then Felix was in general

a frustrating character in so many ways. For somebody who started the book with way more self-awareness and self-assurance than I had at even twice his age, he was just so annoyingly dense! That fact that in early chapters he was literally spooning with his best friend, and Ezra was almost like an overprotective parent or husband, and he was excited by the train experience… I mean, c’mon Felix ffs!

The whole journey with

Declan was very nicely crafted, and I really felt the excitement, awkwardness, and dismay as this storyline progressed. That Declan’s grandad with the dude on the train was a nice touch. And that Declan couldn’t talk to Felix afterward was one of many, many decisions by the author that made the book so real. And that we only see that from Felix’s perspective made me ache.

The only other parts that I felt

truly emotionally connected to were his Pride march experience and his entering the zone when painting (though for me it's music) There was also maybe a hint of being okay with the attention of the gallery, but also that not being the point and not really wanting to stick around for the fuss, which I feel.

There were was some very

black-and-white thinking in the book, typifying teen thinking (also bringing up the argument of who is b/w… NDs or NTs?) though Felix clearly wasn’t guilty of this (ND? was hinted at!) Felix started the book with thing going around and around in his head, and also basically gaslighting himself. Later in the book he let’s go a little and learns that experience is what it is, but you can’t learn and grow without it. Other lessons the book offers are: it’s okay to cut people off if they cross a line; you should take other people’s advice; art is a great medium for self-expression, especially if you’re struggling to find yourself; honesty is the best policy; and more… and I think that all of these are delivered with that black-and-white thinking – and I disagree with that now, but when I was 17 I could have done with reading that.

Throughout much of the book,

Brown is the goal. At some point, the gallery and internship becomes a possibility, and I even thought that if Felix does that, then Declan could get the scholarship and they could remain friends. In the end, Felix gets the gallery, but we don’t go beyond. The success is in love and self-discovery and recognising he was already brave enough to take chances and tell his story and have those conversations. Felix was literally lying to himself earlier in the book! I cried so much in the last few chapters, and I wish I had had this experience at 17. In the end, we don’t learn what Felix does next, because that’s not the point… and maybe the target audience benefits from living with that uncertainty, while I just appreciate that it was a good place to stop.

Ultimately,

while I kinda dislike all the characters or aspects of them, I think it was an honest showcase of a broad-spectrum of LGBTQIA+ issues, attitudes, and how different personalities interact within that environment and beyond. I felt it would be a very relatable, affirming and informative read for a young trans person who was out to their folks already. Since everything was told from the perspective of the teen, even the parental grief, that was troubling Felix so much throughout the book, is told from a perspective of gradual understanding and acceptance. I feel this part is like a microcosm for the whole narrative, in which Felix does a 180 from the start to the end of the book and comes to relate to a person in a whole new way, even though his fundamental/practical relationship with them hasn’t really changed in reality. With the obvious exception of Leah, who was the net gain in friends from beginning to end… again, a pretty realistic representation of college life.

In the end, Felix was

trans, queer, from a poor background, confused, and potentially ND but definitely traumatized. In these ways I related to him. I just wish I was as smart and self-aware as him at that age, and had grown up in a time with any trans/queer representation. I definitely related to the gender group chat about how easy the young’uns have it these days… even though it’s demonstrably still very hard. Another thing that was familiar to me was the (very normalized) drinking and drugs and partying and not wanting the loud parties.

Issues I noticed and still remember now: • Transphobia in general • Transphobia from within queer community • Transphobia at home • Broken families and childhood guilt • Socio-economic privilege • Homophobia • Misogyny and feminism wrt trans • Cis-heteronormativity + white privilege • Intersectionality • Self-image vs image • Gender expression and its relation to identity • Self-esteem and self-worth, and (our choice in?) their origins of derivation • Bodily autonomy and its compromise • Choice generally, and its freedom or not • Bullying and gaslighting • Personal safety • Coallescence of queer peers • Emotoinal independence and codependence • Cyber bullying/hacking • Trust and layers/Venn diagrams thereof • Pride, self-love and community-love • Personal vulnerability and risk assessment • Allyship • Parental grief • Obsessive coping/pathology • Overwhelming experiences, good, bad and otherwise • Gender being behind a paywall They were mostly obvious, which suits an audience that isn't already aware, or maybe benefits from modelling the ideas. A couple I think the audience would already be familiar with and were probably added to make the book more relatable, but also to make it a book about issues and to make the reader feel that it wasn't all new.

xarson's review against another edition

5.0

adventurous challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring relaxing sad tense fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

Content Warnings

yvo_about_books's review against another edition

4.0

Finished reading: October 3rd 2023

"It's easier to accept hurt and pain, sometimes, than love and acceptance."

I've been meaning to read Felix Ever After for quite some time now... When I needed a banned book for the POPSUGAR challenge, I decided to give in and finally read it. I know that I don't read a lot of YA anymore, but I would recommend this book for both teenagers and adults alike. The topic is such an important one, and it's an own voices story at that; there is no doubt that Felix Ever After has a big impact, and it really is an eye-opener. That said, I do have to say that there were certain aspects about the main character Felix that I didn't like as much. I get his struggles and they are both portrayed realistically and basically heartbreaking. BUT. He is also pretty selfish and vindictive, and the fact that others are hurting him is no excuse to do the same. I can't say that I was a fan of the whole love triangle vibe either, which kind of put a damper on things for me... In fact, I wasn't really a fan of the romance nor how it was developed and incorporated in general. I'm still giving this story four stars though just for its impact and how it can help people discover their identity and tribe.

Content Warnings

bookswithlauren's review against another edition

4.0

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Content Warnings

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