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4.32 AVERAGE
4.32 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
It was a compelling story and was very well written. However, it was emotionally very challenging to read. For the sake of my own mental health, I had to take breaks from reading it. It was very triggering.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Stalking, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail
This book has lots of very upsetting content. It would be triggering for people with many different kinds of trauma because the characters go through many traumatic events that are often rendered in detail.
dark
emotional
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
🤢
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
The reason this doesn't have the 16 pages of trigger warnings it deserves is because we need to save trees guys, climate change is not a joke
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail
Where does one even begin with a review for this book. Do you start with the plot, storyline, characters, the writing style, the execution, the trauma, how it makes you feel every emotion there is for one to feel?
I want to write about it all and tell you about how my heart squeezed for Willem and my body physically ached for Jude, all that I felt for JB & Malcolm, for Henry & Andy, for how I still cry when I think of this book. For how I am still so emotionally hung up and connected to this book. But I fear my words won’t do this masterpiece any justice.
It’s not one I would recommend lightly, there are so many trigger warnings and I understand it may not be for everyone but it was everything for me. I hope if and when you read this book, that you love it too and you let its powerful story seep into you so that you can fully appreciate and feel it.
I want to write about it all and tell you about how my heart squeezed for Willem and my body physically ached for Jude, all that I felt for JB & Malcolm, for Henry & Andy, for how I still cry when I think of this book. For how I am still so emotionally hung up and connected to this book. But I fear my words won’t do this masterpiece any justice.
It’s not one I would recommend lightly, there are so many trigger warnings and I understand it may not be for everyone but it was everything for me. I hope if and when you read this book, that you love it too and you let its powerful story seep into you so that you can fully appreciate and feel it.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
ooooooof idk
Likes:
Good writing, makes you invested in the characters, captivating even though nothing goes on. I thought her portrayal of Pastor Luke and his emotional manipulation was great. I loved the buildup to the reveal about Jude's past. She really peeled back the layers slowly, showing just enough to keep you wanting more. I also loved the tender relationship Jude had with Harold and Julia, and Willem as well.
Dislikes:
So fucking bloated, could have edited down A LOT of the parts of the book. This did not need to be 800 pages long.
Lots of repetition in the Jude's cycle of self hatred, and how his loved ones try to understand him, but after the 2000th time he says I'm sorry to Willem or whatever it gets a bit boring. Also, where's the representation? Basically zero focus on any female characters, they had 2 black characters that she started focusing on.... and then nothing about them really.
Limited focus on JB, and NONE on Malcolm. Are we just going to ignore the complexity of him questioning sexuality? Did Hanya really flesh out this character for him to become an architect with no other depth? JB WAS LITERALLY AN ADDICT, and I feel like there was no expansion on his story. She could have delved into the crippling reality of addiction. I mean this guy was addicted to METH for a few pages, went to rehab and just... was cured? No talk about the lifelong struggle of addiction people feel. Just another cheap plot device honestly. It could have been so much deeper than: he addicted, he scared cause of some dude, his friends help, he not addicted.
Also, the torture porn. Suffering for the sake of suffering. He started to cut off pieces of his flesh? He suffered sexual abuse literally at every single place until the age of 15. Really? He could not have met ONE truck driver who didn't want to use him sexually.
Also, the cartoony villainess of some people. Caleb literally turned into a cartoon villain especially with the repeated rape and the brutal beating he gave Jude. Like throwing him naked onto the street. Is this not far fetched or am I just nitpicking? The fact that the root of JB's depression comes from this evil dude named Jackson that's egging him on and is the main driver of his addiction. Why create another cartoon villain. I also hated that This doesn't extend to evil as well, a lot of the characters and black and white, and we never see any of Willem's flaws, or Julia and Harold's.
They have all these "inside" jokes and quirks they mention like "hotel contractor" and the "post man" and then NEVER mention again. I understand she wants to display how close they all are or wtv, but it's a pretty poor way of displaying their closeness and their inside jokes.
It was great for the first half or maybe even 75% but after that you quickly realise how disjointed it is as a whole. Not really... worth it tbh.
Likes:
Good writing, makes you invested in the characters, captivating even though nothing goes on. I thought her portrayal of Pastor Luke and his emotional manipulation was great. I loved the buildup to the reveal about Jude's past. She really peeled back the layers slowly, showing just enough to keep you wanting more. I also loved the tender relationship Jude had with Harold and Julia, and Willem as well.
Dislikes:
So fucking bloated, could have edited down A LOT of the parts of the book. This did not need to be 800 pages long.
Lots of repetition in the Jude's cycle of self hatred, and how his loved ones try to understand him, but after the 2000th time he says I'm sorry to Willem or whatever it gets a bit boring. Also, where's the representation? Basically zero focus on any female characters, they had 2 black characters that she started focusing on.... and then nothing about them really.
Limited focus on JB, and NONE on Malcolm. Are we just going to ignore the complexity of him questioning sexuality? Did Hanya really flesh out this character for him to become an architect with no other depth? JB WAS LITERALLY AN ADDICT, and I feel like there was no expansion on his story. She could have delved into the crippling reality of addiction. I mean this guy was addicted to METH for a few pages, went to rehab and just... was cured? No talk about the lifelong struggle of addiction people feel. Just another cheap plot device honestly. It could have been so much deeper than: he addicted, he scared cause of some dude, his friends help, he not addicted.
Also, the torture porn. Suffering for the sake of suffering. He started to cut off pieces of his flesh? He suffered sexual abuse literally at every single place until the age of 15. Really? He could not have met ONE truck driver who didn't want to use him sexually.
Also, the cartoony villainess of some people. Caleb literally turned into a cartoon villain especially with the repeated rape and the brutal beating he gave Jude. Like throwing him naked onto the street. Is this not far fetched or am I just nitpicking? The fact that the root of JB's depression comes from this evil dude named Jackson that's egging him on and is the main driver of his addiction. Why create another cartoon villain. I also hated that This doesn't extend to evil as well, a lot of the characters and black and white, and we never see any of Willem's flaws, or Julia and Harold's.
They have all these "inside" jokes and quirks they mention like "hotel contractor" and the "post man" and then NEVER mention again. I understand she wants to display how close they all are or wtv, but it's a pretty poor way of displaying their closeness and their inside jokes.
It was great for the first half or maybe even 75% but after that you quickly realise how disjointed it is as a whole. Not really... worth it tbh.
-0.5 star because Jude deserved better fuck this book I loved it
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
Whoever green-lighted this book needs to be psychiatrically evaluated.
It wrecked me. It is not just a novel, it’s an endurance test of the heart, a relentless excavation of love, trauma, and the unbearable weight of being alive. I felt both honored and ruined by every page.
I can’t call it “beautiful” without also calling it brutal. I can’t call it “tragic” without also admitting it’s luminous. It left me hollow, grateful, and furious all at once. I don’t know if I could ever read it again, but I know it will never leave me and I'll be staring at a wall for awhile. If books are meant to change us, this one succeeds devastatingly.
It wrecked me. It is not just a novel, it’s an endurance test of the heart, a relentless excavation of love, trauma, and the unbearable weight of being alive. I felt both honored and ruined by every page.
I can’t call it “beautiful” without also calling it brutal. I can’t call it “tragic” without also admitting it’s luminous. It left me hollow, grateful, and furious all at once. I don’t know if I could ever read it again, but I know it will never leave me and I'll be staring at a wall for awhile. If books are meant to change us, this one succeeds devastatingly.
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes