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Reviews tagging 'Abandonment'
Ask Me About My Uterus: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women's Pain by Abby Norman
2 reviews
idk_indigo's review
challenging
informative
slow-paced
4.75
I really enjoyed this book! It was very informative, very enlightening. Some of the book’s Amazon reviews are quite negative, primarily because it’s a very self-reflective book. Norman acknowledges that this book is more of a dive into her personal experience & what research she has compiled in an effort to better understand her illness & her pain. Less of a know-all about endometriosis, which we see towards the end of the book when she is in the diagnosis stages of another chronic illness. The book talks about the author’s journey with chronic illness with an implied, “This is how it was for me. Others may relate, but I am not speaking for anyone else.” I appreciated the physician aspect; most physicians are trying their best, but they are also imperfect. It is a very true phenomenon that women’s pain is taken less seriously; this rings especially true for WOC & for disabled/chronically or mentally ill women. I enjoyed this book; definitely not a medical guidebook on endometriosis, but I don’t think it was ever trying to be.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Ableism, and Medical trauma
Moderate: Eating disorder, Medical content, Sexism, Excrement, and Grief
Minor: Vomit, Infertility, Abandonment, and Child abuse
stguac's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.25
I feel like this title is a little misleading because throughout the book, no one had ever really asked Abby about her uterus. Frankly....most people seem indifferent to uteruses.
As someone with a uterus, as someone with possibly endometriosis, as someone unable to get doctors to take them seriously for these issues, this was a genuinely upsetting, miserable, triggering read. The book awoke a response in me i can only really describe as mourning because i don't think my sexual/reproductive health has ever been normal and yet it's always been dismissed by everyone around me (cis women, cis men, doctors...the third gender ofc) as not being that bad. Occasionally other trans people, including transmisogyny affected people, people who don't have uteruses, have commiserated with me, and I've really appreciated this, especially because i felt like other women who do have uteruses just...seem so dismissive of anyone who complains about menstruation. Like I'm not doing it right.
I hesitate to harp on the lack of inclusivity because this is more of a memoir than i expected. Abby Norman is an advocate, yes, but she's also a victim of the medical system abusing and neglecting her. Some of these interactions in the book are mind-numbing. Like it makes me want to black out with rage sometimes thinking that doctors can speak to patients sobbing in front of them with such hatred in their eyes. But the fact remains that this is the story of a white cis woman, and she does try to point out that things are exponentially more difficult for BIPOC and transgender people looking for a diagnosis. And as helpful as the book was for me, this was not my experience. No matter what, i cannot make this fit my life.
But maybe i don't need it to. Endometriosis is such a broad experience. It isn't just something you can check off as typical of the diagnosis. Some people will have all the typical symptoms. Others will have a bunch of perplexing symptoms maybe only tangentially related to their reproductive systems. The fact that the majority afflicted are cis women, that nonwhite women and trans people barely have access to medical care let alone the attention of a self important doctor, that trans women may be afflicted yet are overwhelmingly dismissed....all of this amounts to a disease of invisibility. Of pathology. Where it's all in your head. Stop complaining. Get back to work. If you didn't live the way you did, you wouldn't be this way. And so on.
I think books like these are important. Norman has not described the entire endometriosis experience. She is privileged in many aspects, but has suffered tremendously in others. And she's used her voice to try to get more research and eyes on people who normally don't get much attention. If you suspect you have endometriosis, please check this one out.
As someone with a uterus, as someone with possibly endometriosis, as someone unable to get doctors to take them seriously for these issues, this was a genuinely upsetting, miserable, triggering read. The book awoke a response in me i can only really describe as mourning because i don't think my sexual/reproductive health has ever been normal and yet it's always been dismissed by everyone around me (cis women, cis men, doctors...the third gender ofc) as not being that bad. Occasionally other trans people, including transmisogyny affected people, people who don't have uteruses, have commiserated with me, and I've really appreciated this, especially because i felt like other women who do have uteruses just...seem so dismissive of anyone who complains about menstruation. Like I'm not doing it right.
I hesitate to harp on the lack of inclusivity because this is more of a memoir than i expected. Abby Norman is an advocate, yes, but she's also a victim of the medical system abusing and neglecting her. Some of these interactions in the book are mind-numbing. Like it makes me want to black out with rage sometimes thinking that doctors can speak to patients sobbing in front of them with such hatred in their eyes. But the fact remains that this is the story of a white cis woman, and she does try to point out that things are exponentially more difficult for BIPOC and transgender people looking for a diagnosis. And as helpful as the book was for me, this was not my experience. No matter what, i cannot make this fit my life.
But maybe i don't need it to. Endometriosis is such a broad experience. It isn't just something you can check off as typical of the diagnosis. Some people will have all the typical symptoms. Others will have a bunch of perplexing symptoms maybe only tangentially related to their reproductive systems. The fact that the majority afflicted are cis women, that nonwhite women and trans people barely have access to medical care let alone the attention of a self important doctor, that trans women may be afflicted yet are overwhelmingly dismissed....all of this amounts to a disease of invisibility. Of pathology. Where it's all in your head. Stop complaining. Get back to work. If you didn't live the way you did, you wouldn't be this way. And so on.
I think books like these are important. Norman has not described the entire endometriosis experience. She is privileged in many aspects, but has suffered tremendously in others. And she's used her voice to try to get more research and eyes on people who normally don't get much attention. If you suspect you have endometriosis, please check this one out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Medical trauma, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Eating disorder, Misogyny, Vomit, and Chronic illness
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