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kjersa's review against another edition
5.0
I’ll definitely come back to this book! Tons of info. Maybe the best sex ed that I’ve read that is exclusively about the uterine reproductive system and how tf it works in and around sex and sexuality. It focuses most on the way that sexuality and having sex isn’t as simple as pop culture makes it out to be and that literally (literally) everyone is different. If you’re a vagina owner and have ever had a hard time with anything related to the act of sex, I’d definitely give this a read. I really liked that she narrated her own audiobook - always super helpful to get the exact tone of what someone is trying to convey!!!
Note: she discusses SA quite a bit and how it effects one’s sexuality and the perception of and ability to have sex. She also notes up top that this book is written for cis women and/or people who were raised and socialized as female, and to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. I could definitely see non-women taking something away from this book as well!
Note: she discusses SA quite a bit and how it effects one’s sexuality and the perception of and ability to have sex. She also notes up top that this book is written for cis women and/or people who were raised and socialized as female, and to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. I could definitely see non-women taking something away from this book as well!
birdghosting's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
I really appreciate how much information this book offers you, even when plenty of it I couldn't apply to myself. It was interesting to learn about it all, and it was more than just a book about how to be happy and comfortable with sex. This touched on so many different aspects like body image, self esteem, trust, patience, and outside influences as well as inside influences. It is very obvious by the end of the book that being comfortable with sex or your sexuality runs deep in many areas of your life.
The garden metaphor was a really helpful visual, as were some of the others. Because it's so packed with different life avenues, I definitely feel like I'll have to reread this book multiple times to have everything really sink in and not just forget about it in a week. It gave me lots of things to try out in and out of bed, as well as even more reading material to go through by other people. The only thing that sometimes made it hard for me to get through was the way it was presented, the "voice" of the narration. It felt like it was trying a little too hard to be relatable or for non-science-y people to understand.
The garden metaphor was a really helpful visual, as were some of the others. Because it's so packed with different life avenues, I definitely feel like I'll have to reread this book multiple times to have everything really sink in and not just forget about it in a week. It gave me lots of things to try out in and out of bed, as well as even more reading material to go through by other people. The only thing that sometimes made it hard for me to get through was the way it was presented, the "voice" of the narration. It felt like it was trying a little too hard to be relatable or for non-science-y people to understand.
abruce16's review against another edition
slow-paced
1.5
I read this book expecting to be excited by the science, instead I got mostly pseudoscience and a couple of vague citations that didn’t really improve my overall understanding of the topic (such as a study where it was shown that subjects who wore socks found sex more pleasurable…like ok?) It also reads MUCH more self-help than anything else. After the first 25% of the book, the author’s tone veered into reiterating everything that she said over and over again (you are normal! 1000x), intermingled with “case studies” including dialogue that was incredibly unrealistic and seemed like they were only manufactured by the author to prove her point that, yes, you are normal! (Ignoring the fact that there are certainly cases that something could be wrong, which was never discussed) The half-holding by the author whenever (the extremely oversimplified to the point of not being useful) scientific information was extremely patronizing and baffling to me, potentially trying to hide the fact that maybe the author feels this way about scientific subjects as well. By the end, I was skimming through pages and pages of nonsense. Not even useless information, but complete nonsense (looking at you, garden metaphor).
On one hand, I could see how the author’s message could be incredibly helpful for some. But I’m also shook by the near universal glowing reviews. Part of me thinks this is due to the extreme dearth of factual information on women’s sexuality, and this book is a rare example of this being brought into the spotlight. Just the fact that the author is charting this new territory gives me hope. However, I’m not going to let that change my review: this is effectively terrible as a book. It should have been written as a longer article.
On one hand, I could see how the author’s message could be incredibly helpful for some. But I’m also shook by the near universal glowing reviews. Part of me thinks this is due to the extreme dearth of factual information on women’s sexuality, and this book is a rare example of this being brought into the spotlight. Just the fact that the author is charting this new territory gives me hope. However, I’m not going to let that change my review: this is effectively terrible as a book. It should have been written as a longer article.
leowilko's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
slow-paced
2.75
Far too long and too detailed for me. I feel the same advice, insights and stories could have been put across more succinctly. It felt like several books combined into one. But hey, maybe it's because I'm a guy...?
al_sharnaqi's review against another edition
5.0
I think this book should be listed in the educational curriculums. Very extraordinary book.
cassandrat's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Very educational and easy to read. It focuses a lot on becoming familiar with your body, insecurities, desires, and general needs. It goes into variability in experiences and desires. Don't yuck someone's yum! Decrease media that makes you feel bad about your body and increase media that makes you feel good.
Overall, I think it was a bit long for me at points, but the length is good for someone wanting more time to work through self-compassion or who wants some more background or generally just enjoys the topic of sex and desire.
I liked that Dr. Nagoski explains the research foundations and studies on pleasure and sexual response and desire. That was interesting.
Orgasms happen in your brain! Noncordance means that physical response (or lack of it) does not signify desire or pleasure or orgasm.
Overall, I think it was a bit long for me at points, but the length is good for someone wanting more time to work through self-compassion or who wants some more background or generally just enjoys the topic of sex and desire.
I liked that Dr. Nagoski explains the research foundations and studies on pleasure and sexual response and desire. That was interesting.
Orgasms happen in your brain! Noncordance means that physical response (or lack of it) does not signify desire or pleasure or orgasm.