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4.22 AVERAGE
4.22 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Everyone should read this. It's about what matters.
I rarely re-read books, but I would read this again if I got the chance. Lost Connections really does unpack the causes of depression and how to start looking at them realistically. The author did a lot of great research for this book, so I learned a lot. I highly recommend this book.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
Would give 6 stars if I could!
Content Warnings
May not be helpful if you are currently benefitting from being on anti-depressants
"In the same way, all these materialistic values, telling us to spend our way to happiness, look like real values; they appeal to the part of us that has evolved to need some basic principles to guide us through life; yet they don't give us what we need from values—a path to a satisfying life. instead, they fill us with psychological toxins. Junk food is distorting our bodies. Junk values are distorting our minds. Materialism is KFC for the soul." (p. 97)
As materialistic values get bigger, other values are necessarily going to be crowded out.
"there's never enough. When you're focused on money and status and possessions, consumer society is always telling you more, more, more, more. Capitalism is always telling you more, more, more. Your boss is telling you work more, work more, work more. You internalize that and you think: Oh, I got to work more, because my self depends on my status and my achievement. You internalize that. It's a kind of form of internalized oppression." (p. 101)
"This sense of precariousness started with people in the lowest-paying jobs. But ever since, it has been rising further and further up the chain. By now, many middle-class people are working from task to task, without any contract or security. We give it a fancy name: we call it being "self-employed," or the "gig economy"—as if we're all Kanye playing Madison Square Garden. For most of us, a stable sense of the future is dissolving, and we are told to see it as a form of liberation." (p. 141)
"It was, I think, the place that taught me how to begin to reconnect." (p. 163)
" 'The more you think happiness is a social thing, the better off you are' Brett explained to me, summarizing her findings and reams of other social science." (p. 181)
"I would buy something, or watch a film I like, or read a book I like, or talk to a friend about my distress. It was an attempt to treat the isolated self, and it didn't work very often. In fact, these acts were often the start of a deeper slide." (p. 183)
"'There's something about nature,' Lisa told me. 'You can't change how nature is—because the weather will do that. The seasons will do that. So you can plant things, and either they'll fail or they'll succeed. You have to learn how to do that. You have to learn to be patient. it's not a quick fix. Creating a garden takes time and investment of energy and a commitment...You might not feel you've made much impact in one gardening session, but if you that every week, over a period of time, you'll see a change. She was going to learn 'it's about commitment to something that might take a long time, and having the patience to do that.'" (p. 193)
"The pleasure was often in the craving and the anticipation. We've all had the experience of finally getting the thing we want, getting it home, and feeling oddly deflated, only to find that before long, the craving cycle starts again." (p. 215)
sympathetic joy
"the more open I am, and the more revealing I am, the more I'm going to get from anything." (p. 231)
"You are not suffering from a chemical imbalance in your brain. You are suffering from a social and spiritual imbalance in how we live. Much more than you've told up to now, it's not serotonin; it's society. It's not your brain; it's your pain. Your biology can make your distress worse, for sure. But it's not the cause. It's not the driver. It's not the place to look for the main explanation or the main solution." (p. 257)
As materialistic values get bigger, other values are necessarily going to be crowded out.
"there's never enough. When you're focused on money and status and possessions, consumer society is always telling you more, more, more, more. Capitalism is always telling you more, more, more. Your boss is telling you work more, work more, work more. You internalize that and you think: Oh, I got to work more, because my self depends on my status and my achievement. You internalize that. It's a kind of form of internalized oppression." (p. 101)
"This sense of precariousness started with people in the lowest-paying jobs. But ever since, it has been rising further and further up the chain. By now, many middle-class people are working from task to task, without any contract or security. We give it a fancy name: we call it being "self-employed," or the "gig economy"—as if we're all Kanye playing Madison Square Garden. For most of us, a stable sense of the future is dissolving, and we are told to see it as a form of liberation." (p. 141)
"It was, I think, the place that taught me how to begin to reconnect." (p. 163)
" 'The more you think happiness is a social thing, the better off you are' Brett explained to me, summarizing her findings and reams of other social science." (p. 181)
"I would buy something, or watch a film I like, or read a book I like, or talk to a friend about my distress. It was an attempt to treat the isolated self, and it didn't work very often. In fact, these acts were often the start of a deeper slide." (p. 183)
"'There's something about nature,' Lisa told me. 'You can't change how nature is—because the weather will do that. The seasons will do that. So you can plant things, and either they'll fail or they'll succeed. You have to learn how to do that. You have to learn to be patient. it's not a quick fix. Creating a garden takes time and investment of energy and a commitment...You might not feel you've made much impact in one gardening session, but if you that every week, over a period of time, you'll see a change. She was going to learn 'it's about commitment to something that might take a long time, and having the patience to do that.'" (p. 193)
"The pleasure was often in the craving and the anticipation. We've all had the experience of finally getting the thing we want, getting it home, and feeling oddly deflated, only to find that before long, the craving cycle starts again." (p. 215)
sympathetic joy
"the more open I am, and the more revealing I am, the more I'm going to get from anything." (p. 231)
"You are not suffering from a chemical imbalance in your brain. You are suffering from a social and spiritual imbalance in how we live. Much more than you've told up to now, it's not serotonin; it's society. It's not your brain; it's your pain. Your biology can make your distress worse, for sure. But it's not the cause. It's not the driver. It's not the place to look for the main explanation or the main solution." (p. 257)
informative
reflective
slow-paced