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wannabemensch's review
First, I really enjoyed reading this exploration of the bar and bat mitzvah ceremony as a lens to dive into American Judaism. The author certainly can write, and it was an engaging and informative reading experience.
Second, I wish the author could have set aside his obvious bias against and disdain for Reform Judaism. It became entirely distracting, more so than the many typesetting errors in the first third of the book. No other denomination had a literal scorecard of its adherents’ progeny - who left the fold, whose children and grandchildren left? A less-than critical eye was turned toward the Chabad flavor of orthodoxy and its lack of equality amongst genders - yes, women may have roles, as pointed out, but do they get to chose what those roles will be? - as well as its rejection of all secular education. The bar mitzvah boy could recite pages of Yiddish, yes, but he didn’t know the name of the month of June.
It’s no coincidence that the two unfavorable portrayals in the collection were both centered around Reform congregations, one shown as soulless and mass-produced, and the other as intellectually barren.
And yet, in the addition to the recent reprinting (under a new title, The Bar Mitzvah Crasher, Oppenheimer shares his three rules for a meaningful bar or bat mitzvah, and one is that there should be some sort of ceremony that is important to and appropriate for the child to express who they now are and will be as a Jewish adult; *one* example involves chanting Torah. Ironically, this is a very Reform mindset. How can this tradition (born in modernity) be made meaningful? What is its essence? What can that look like today?
Lastly, what is more important? That the founding fathers - yes, all men - of Reform Judaism rejected the bar mitzvah along with most of the ritual inherent to Judaism more than 100 years ago, or that the movement, now including its women, has embraced the ceremony along with more rigorous and egalitarian training for more than 50? Which is more relevant to this book’s audience? The author, who grew up about as Jewish as I did, insists that it’s the former.
Second, I wish the author could have set aside his obvious bias against and disdain for Reform Judaism. It became entirely distracting, more so than the many typesetting errors in the first third of the book. No other denomination had a literal scorecard of its adherents’ progeny - who left the fold, whose children and grandchildren left? A less-than critical eye was turned toward the Chabad flavor of orthodoxy and its lack of equality amongst genders - yes, women may have roles, as pointed out, but do they get to chose what those roles will be? - as well as its rejection of all secular education. The bar mitzvah boy could recite pages of Yiddish, yes, but he didn’t know the name of the month of June.
It’s no coincidence that the two unfavorable portrayals in the collection were both centered around Reform congregations, one shown as soulless and mass-produced, and the other as intellectually barren.
And yet, in the addition to the recent reprinting (under a new title, The Bar Mitzvah Crasher, Oppenheimer shares his three rules for a meaningful bar or bat mitzvah, and one is that there should be some sort of ceremony that is important to and appropriate for the child to express who they now are and will be as a Jewish adult; *one* example involves chanting Torah. Ironically, this is a very Reform mindset. How can this tradition (born in modernity) be made meaningful? What is its essence? What can that look like today?
Lastly, what is more important? That the founding fathers - yes, all men - of Reform Judaism rejected the bar mitzvah along with most of the ritual inherent to Judaism more than 100 years ago, or that the movement, now including its women, has embraced the ceremony along with more rigorous and egalitarian training for more than 50? Which is more relevant to this book’s audience? The author, who grew up about as Jewish as I did, insists that it’s the former.
josephfinn's review
3.0
Pretty good overview of modern B'nai Mitzvah practices and how they reflect modern Judaism in the USA,
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