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bicanthropus's review against another edition
emotional
mysterious
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
We hate John Winchester in this household, but man was this book interesting. It did fuel my John Winchester hate more but it’s super interesting to see what Sam & Dean’s lives were like before the show.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Child abuse, Violence, Alcohol, Death of parent, Gore, and Gun violence
Minor: Cannibalism
simple_alien's review against another edition
dark
informative
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
Would have been 1 star, but I wrote all my hatred for John Winchester in the margins and it was so fun and therapeutic I had to add a star.
What I wanted: A character study and exploration into John's psyche as a man twisted by grief who becomes obsessed and drags his children into a quest for vengeance. Insights into how being raised in this environment affected Sam and Dean. Some cool lore and case details and callbacks to the show thrown in.
What I got: 10% what I wanted, 90% bloated lore. The neglect and abuse simmered in the background, mostly unacknowledged. Which... is kind of in character I guess if its from John's perspective? But feels kinda sketchy, like it rushed over all the interesting bits. Like: no abuse here! Dont think about it! And just swept it all under the rug of lore and latin exorcism incantations. Also some inconsistencies with canon.
The book overall was average, the lore was so boring compared to the insights into John's thought-process/delusions, and the insights into Sam and Dean's childhood. I skimmed the lore to get to the parts of the book that actually interested me.
The illustrations and handwriting were a nice touch, I'll admit.
Lets be clear... I hate John Winchester. But he is a complicated character and it is very interesting to see his justifications for his obsessive quest for vengeance. You don't need to read the book to know that John neglected his children, and put them into a dangerous world and life threatening situations - all while claiming he was protecting them. He burdens them with things no child should ever shoulder. He practically forces Dean to parent Sam, and made Dean feel personally responsible for Sam's safety even though "THAT'S YOUR JOB JOHN" (-me in the margins). John traumatized Sam and Dean beyond belief, raised them like soldiers, emotionally stunted Dean and pushed Sam away.
I could go on forever... hence the annotations I wrote all over the book (its my book - don't judge - and if John can spew his mental garbage in those pages then SO CAN I)
The book was worth the read just to get more depth to this history and trauma.
The main issue about the journal, is that due to its nature, it never challenges John's choices or highlights his abuse, since it is from his perspective and he isn't exactly skilled at taking personal responsibility for how his grief-motivated actions affect others. The abuse just lurks in the background while the narrator (John) doesn't look too closely at it, or worse... actively justifies it. Because of this... it sets the reader up to sympathize with John and excuse his abuse. They may even come out thinking John is a hero. And that doesn't sit right with me. It is a delicate line to walk, to make it clear to the reader that John is abusive without having John acknowledge it directly.
They could have taken things farther. There were some great lines which made me want to punch John in the face. But I needed MORE of those. Really make it clear to the reader that John is in the wrong, and that he destroyed his family, and traumatized his kids because he got so twisted up in pain and self justification and a sense of righteousness that he lost himself. THAT is the main story of the journal and it felt like it was just shoved under the rug of Supernatural lore.
This journal just could have been so much better...
John loved his kids, I believe that wholeheartedly. But he abused them.
If he hadn't done what he did... if he had given Sam and Dean a normal childhood like he should have, ironically, the world would have ended, because Sam and Dean would never have become hunters. But John doesn't get credit for their accomplishments. As much as he loved his kids, he was too far-gone to notice the effect his actions and choices had on them and he caused them actual damage, and deep emotional wounds. This wasnt explored enough
The BEST parts of the book were when these things are explored. You get to see John's love for his kids, and all the ways he is hurting them despite that love (he is usually oblivious to this hurt). You even get some rare moments where he recognizes how he is hurting them, and then you get to see him shrug it off with whatever rehearsed self-justification he can come up with (I have no choice, it's to keep the boys safe, etc), so that he can continue on his quest for revenge.
If that sounds interesting to you, then it's worth a read so you can pick up those little crumbs. Wish they could have given me a whole cookie, but that's Supernatural for ya.
What I wanted: A character study and exploration into John's psyche as a man twisted by grief who becomes obsessed and drags his children into a quest for vengeance. Insights into how being raised in this environment affected Sam and Dean. Some cool lore and case details and callbacks to the show thrown in.
What I got: 10% what I wanted, 90% bloated lore. The neglect and abuse simmered in the background, mostly unacknowledged. Which... is kind of in character I guess if its from John's perspective? But feels kinda sketchy, like it rushed over all the interesting bits. Like: no abuse here! Dont think about it! And just swept it all under the rug of lore and latin exorcism incantations. Also some inconsistencies with canon.
The book overall was average, the lore was so boring compared to the insights into John's thought-process/delusions, and the insights into Sam and Dean's childhood. I skimmed the lore to get to the parts of the book that actually interested me.
The illustrations and handwriting were a nice touch, I'll admit.
Lets be clear... I hate John Winchester. But he is a complicated character and it is very interesting to see his justifications for his obsessive quest for vengeance. You don't need to read the book to know that John neglected his children, and put them into a dangerous world and life threatening situations - all while claiming he was protecting them. He burdens them with things no child should ever shoulder. He practically forces Dean to parent Sam, and made Dean feel personally responsible for Sam's safety even though "THAT'S YOUR JOB JOHN" (-me in the margins). John traumatized Sam and Dean beyond belief, raised them like soldiers, emotionally stunted Dean and pushed Sam away.
I could go on forever... hence the annotations I wrote all over the book (its my book - don't judge - and if John can spew his mental garbage in those pages then SO CAN I)
The book was worth the read just to get more depth to this history and trauma.
The main issue about the journal, is that due to its nature, it never challenges John's choices or highlights his abuse, since it is from his perspective and he isn't exactly skilled at taking personal responsibility for how his grief-motivated actions affect others. The abuse just lurks in the background while the narrator (John) doesn't look too closely at it, or worse... actively justifies it. Because of this... it sets the reader up to sympathize with John and excuse his abuse. They may even come out thinking John is a hero. And that doesn't sit right with me. It is a delicate line to walk, to make it clear to the reader that John is abusive without having John acknowledge it directly.
They could have taken things farther. There were some great lines which made me want to punch John in the face. But I needed MORE of those. Really make it clear to the reader that John is in the wrong, and that he destroyed his family, and traumatized his kids because he got so twisted up in pain and self justification and a sense of righteousness that he lost himself. THAT is the main story of the journal and it felt like it was just shoved under the rug of Supernatural lore.
This journal just could have been so much better...
John loved his kids, I believe that wholeheartedly. But he abused them.
If he hadn't done what he did... if he had given Sam and Dean a normal childhood like he should have, ironically, the world would have ended, because Sam and Dean would never have become hunters. But John doesn't get credit for their accomplishments. As much as he loved his kids, he was too far-gone to notice the effect his actions and choices had on them and he caused them actual damage, and deep emotional wounds. This wasnt explored enough
The BEST parts of the book were when these things are explored. You get to see John's love for his kids, and all the ways he is hurting them despite that love (he is usually oblivious to this hurt). You even get some rare moments where he recognizes how he is hurting them, and then you get to see him shrug it off with whatever rehearsed self-justification he can come up with (I have no choice, it's to keep the boys safe, etc), so that he can continue on his quest for revenge.
If that sounds interesting to you, then it's worth a read so you can pick up those little crumbs. Wish they could have given me a whole cookie, but that's Supernatural for ya.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Abandonment, Death, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Grief, Gun violence, and Violence
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