maylingkuo's review against another edition

5.0

thanks to chanel miller for the absolute gift of this book. i experienced such a range of emotion in reading this memoir - love, empathy, rage, desperation, melancholy, frustration, connection. what makes this book incredible is not what she went through, but instead her reflection on the assault's impact on her life, her identity, society, institutions and connections to current events. she's wise beyond her years and through this narrative shared what it means to grapple with sexual violence, loss of memory, and the court system. my understanding of what survivors encounter in the hospital, with law enforcement and others has expanded, and for this i'm grateful. she writes with sensory detail that brought me into each setting and uses strong metaphors.

everyone should read 'know my name.' it's important and thought provocative. in hallway conversations i've had with friends and colleagues, they've brought up things like - it might make them feel sad or be too difficult to read. that they heard it wasn't written by her (an infuriating comment, that i'm glad miller addresses regarding the victim statement). we have a huge sexual violence and consent problem. going through this experience through the author's eyes helps anyone gain empathy and see the complexity and wrongness of not only our legal institutions, but also our social understanding and language around sexual violence. she asks basic questions that demonstrate the ridiculousness of how survivors vs. perpetrators get treated socially and legally. the physical, emotional and financial costs required to bring cases to court are too high.

i found this text smart, brave and strong. the topic is urgent and her last paragraph written to survivors left me feeling inspired.