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Reviews tagging 'Self harm'

Зайчик by Mona Awad

355 reviews

dark tense fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

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dark mysterious tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: No
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I had a hard time picking it up by the second half, but ugh, I loved it

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dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

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dark funny mysterious tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

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challenging dark mysterious fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: No
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

My god did I love this book. I am a big fan of books that welcome a mind-fuck and this surely did that. The characters were both distinct and blurred together (I'll get to that in a minute) and the plot was a twisting, turning journey that I genuinely had no idea where it was going to go next (for the most part). The horror elements were so good and the writing style??? I never thought I would laugh so much in a horror book. There were a few things that held off on this being a 5 star, however very fun read. 
Characters
Starting with Sam, I'm a big fan of unreliable narrators. Her journey throughout the book of her hatred towards the bunnies and how she realised that
this was really a hatred towards a part of herself was super interesting. I liked the commentary on feminism with the hyper-girly bunnies and the war in Sam's mind about whether she was a lesser person for being a part of the group.

Ava was gorgeous. I loved her give-no-shits attitude and her support of Sam's goals.
Obviously with the twist at the end being that she was really just a creation of Sam's, I kind of saw it coming with her always wearing gloves after the first Bunny Workshop but it really provided a blunt viewpoint of Sam's perspective of herself and her contrast between the versions of herself.

This next character I can't really talk about without spoilers so...
Max?! Loved him. Loved the literal personification of Sam's emotions, particularly to her feelings of love towards Ava (the hidden part of herself) and the internalised hatred towards the more feminine parts of herself. Ugh, perfection.

The bunnies were also brilliant. Please don't ask me to tell you their names (I only remember 3 of their nicknames) but I feel like that's the point. They are simultaneously one individual whilst also having distinct aspects of themselves. You could argue that they all represent different aspects of femininity. I just loved how contrasting yet cohesive they all were. And their internalised monologue
when Sam was a part of the cult
was super intriguing at how they all expressed hatred or disbelief of what they were saying. 
Plot
I'll be honest here. I'm not entirely sure what the plot was. And I think that's the point? It felt very much like a character driven story exploring Sam and her perspectives. I think that's where this book falls down a bit for me. The uncertainness was exciting but there is a part of me that's desperate to know what everything looked like from the outside.
We know that Sam was living in an abandoned house but were Ava and Max really a swan and a deer living inside that house with her? Were they pure figments of her imagination? But then what happened to the swan from the pond when Sam created Ava? How were the Bunnies able to 'create' boys yet judged Sam when she was doing the same thing? Whenever anyone saw Sam with Ava, what did they see?
Just these aspects as a reader really intrigued me and I would have loved to have more insight into these. 
Overall
I thought this was a banger of a book. I loved the characters and the development and the mystery and the confusion from seeing things through Sam's perspective. And whilst I am aware that I had some very essay-style analysis above, I liked that the book called into question what we do for art and what's really worth it. It felt satirical whilst also having so many layers to it that I would love to discuss it in a book club. The only place it falls down for me is in terms of personal interest. I would have loved to see what actually happened from an outside perspective but hey, maybe there's novella potential there. 

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dark emotional mysterious tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: N/A
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

This book was a LOT!! It made me feel like I was in another universe and even if I didn’t understand everything (maybe because english is not my first language or because I can’t really find deep meaning in everything I read) I loved it.

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Really liked it beside the
it's all in her head trope

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adventurous dark funny mysterious medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: No

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challenging dark mysterious medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Plot
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Updating my review to 4 stars—I was too hard on this one. It was—strange. Simultaneously cliche and unlike anything I have ever read before. There is a very specific niche of people I would recommend this book to, but I would definitely recommend it to them. Not really sure what I just read, though. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
challenging dark emotional mysterious tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

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