Scan barcode
Reviews tagging 'Grief'
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by KC Davis
13 reviews
avisreadsandreads's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Oh gawd, I feel like I've needed this book my whole adult life! I definitely need my own copy -- it feels like something to read over and over again.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Grief, Mental illness, Ableism, and Chronic illness
Minor: Fatphobia, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Sexism, Addiction, and Body shaming
emilywemily6's review
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
fast-paced
4.0
This book is short and sweet, with ideas for reframing how we see “care tasks” (aka chores) as morally neutral and should be considered only when functioning for our lives. It was written with neurodivergence in mind, but as a neurotypical person (or am I?) I found this book so helpful to help me start to think differently about the state of my life and home when I am juggling a full time job, parenthood, being a life partner, and all my other obligations. I think my husband, who is neurodivergent, would benefit from this quick read also. I’m looking forward to talking about it with him once he reads it! I love short books and feel like anyone would benefit from this one.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Ableism, and Grief
Moderate: Child abuse and Cursing
Minor: Drug abuse and Emotional abuse
gwenswoons's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
relaxing
fast-paced
5.0
I loved this book so much. It’s way outside my usual reading palette, and I’m so grateful Storygraph’s 2024 Genre Challenge helped nudge me to read it! A non-fiction book about psychology?!? Would never have found my way to this on my own, and I already feel the huge impact it will have in my life. I was struck again and again by the author’s ability to both do necessary reframing for us - like separating care tasks from moral successes/failings, as they’ve been societally framed for us - and to simultaneously reassure us, letting us know that changing these patterns in our brains will take time, and giving us inspiring achievable ideas to begin that work. I also deeply appreciated Davis’s acknowledgment of different needs and circumstances - so many conversations about self care and self help ignore forms of oppression and challenge, like systemic racism, financial inequity, neurodiversity, and mental health struggles: factors that can quite literally change and affect people’s abilities to do the same tasks others find easy and accessible. This book explores these things honestly and gently, and as someone who’s had serious struggles with anxiety and depression I felt seen and reflected in this book in a way I haven’t in many modern takes on related topics (whether in books or on social media, journalism, etc.). I’m short, I can’t recommend this book highly enough - truly helped me and I hope it might do the same for you. 💜
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Minor: Ableism, Body shaming, Pandemic/Epidemic, Addiction, Sexism, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Grief, Rape, and Fatphobia
katiemack's review
emotional
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
5.0
I read this book at the optimal time in my life. As someone who is postpartum and has perpetually dealt with a lifetime of blaming and shaming myself for not keeping a clean house or yard, KC Davis' words really resonated with me.
The book is short--150-ish pages--and concise, as Davis knows that some of her readers don't have the time or capacity to take in all of what they read. It's packed full of useful methods of perspective-shifting that aren't just "clean as you go" or "make a schedule" and emphasizes doing what works best for you. For me, the most valuable pieces of advice are about reframing chores as "care tasks" and doing them not because it's the morally correct thing to do but because I deserve to live in a clean house, to be kind to myself in this way. Her giving permission to not have everything be spotless all the time is also exactly what I needed to read right now.
If you're struggling in life right now, pick this up. If you don't want to read 150 pages, take her advice about which chapters to skip.
The book is short--150-ish pages--and concise, as Davis knows that some of her readers don't have the time or capacity to take in all of what they read. It's packed full of useful methods of perspective-shifting that aren't just "clean as you go" or "make a schedule" and emphasizes doing what works best for you. For me, the most valuable pieces of advice are about reframing chores as "care tasks" and doing them not because it's the morally correct thing to do but because I deserve to live in a clean house, to be kind to myself in this way. Her giving permission to not have everything be spotless all the time is also exactly what I needed to read right now.
If you're struggling in life right now, pick this up. If you don't want to read 150 pages, take her advice about which chapters to skip.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism and Mental illness
Moderate: Addiction, Chronic illness, and Grief
Minor: Emotional abuse and Body shaming
thenovelmaura's review
informative
fast-paced
5.0
I realize I am not the target audience for this book, but I really appreciated the overarching themes and the entire concept of Davis' "gentle approach." The primary audience seems to be neurodivergent and/or disabled individuals who struggle to meet and often feel shamed by societal standards for a clean home. So I loved Davis' use of straightforward language, short chapters, and instructions for which chapters readers could skip over while still grasping the key concepts. The way she explained each metaphor that she used in literal terms gave me a new understanding of what accessible writing could look like, and I hope we see more nonfiction books written this way in the coming years.
Although I don't currently struggle with routine care tasks, I acknowledge that I am coming from a place a privilege and that my circumstances will change as I get older. For now, I'll highlight a few of Davis' guiding principles that most resonated with me while reading:
Although I don't currently struggle with routine care tasks, I acknowledge that I am coming from a place a privilege and that my circumstances will change as I get older. For now, I'll highlight a few of Davis' guiding principles that most resonated with me while reading:
- Your space exists to serve you and not the other way around;
- Do not assign moral value to care tasks;
- The care tasks that you do today are meant to be a gift to your future self;
- Division of labor in a household should be based on each partner receiving an equal amount of fulfilling rest (i.e. restorative time away from the pressure to perform care tasks).
All that to say, I gave this book a high rating because I think anyone can benefit from reading it! I understand why I've heard nothing but good things before picking it up.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Grief
melodyseestrees's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness and Ableism
Moderate: Addiction, Chronic illness, and Grief
Minor: Emotional abuse, Body shaming, and Child abuse
imstephtacular's review
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness and Medical content
Moderate: Pregnancy, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, Grief, Ableism, Drug use, Cursing, Classism, Medical trauma, Pandemic/Epidemic, Body shaming, and Gaslighting
Minor: Racism
kimveach's review
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
I picked this little book at the library because the title intrigued me. It's an intriguing way to look at taking care of your house and yourself, especially if you are struggling. This book teaches you to reframe how you look at "care" tasks (hygiene, cleaning, cooking, etc.). This book would help anyone who is temporarily struggling (grief, depression, illness, injury), as well as those who are permanently struggling (ADHD, disability, chronic disease, being a caretaker.)
At first, some of the suggestions were the same as most self-help books (do tasks the night before to set yourself up for a good day, put on music to clean). Still, others were out of the box (too tired to empty the dishwasher - take out the few things you need now, add the few that must be cleaned, and rerun the dishwasher.)
This book would be helpful for those struggling, but I think it could be even more useful for someone who knows a person struggling. It would give them concrete ways to help the person without shaming them about the state of their home or self.
At first, some of the suggestions were the same as most self-help books (do tasks the night before to set yourself up for a good day, put on music to clean). Still, others were out of the box (too tired to empty the dishwasher - take out the few things you need now, add the few that must be cleaned, and rerun the dishwasher.)
This book would be helpful for those struggling, but I think it could be even more useful for someone who knows a person struggling. It would give them concrete ways to help the person without shaming them about the state of their home or self.
Content Warnings
Minor: Ableism, Abandonment, Bullying, Chronic illness, Addiction, Child abuse, Cursing, Body shaming, Grief, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, and Physical abuse
erebus53's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.75
When I picked up this book I was clueless as to how deeply it would affect me. I also didn't know that I was the target audience.. it was just this month's non-fiction read for Book Club.
This is a book that is designed as a first line of support for people who have challenges with executive function, be that due to Neurodivergence, brain injury, chronic pain, trauma, chronic illness, anxiety or anything that causes challenges with motivation, organisation and time management, priorities, or attention span.
The author is a therapist, but also late diagnosed ADHD and a mother.. and some of her confessions about ways she copes with not being able to _even_ are just utterly relatable. It's so important to feel seen, and understood. Among friends I have shared this book with they agree that this book is one of the few self-help books they have ever read that makes them feel like they are understood, and that they aren't alone in their struggles.
-edit to add- There is a section that is part of the self care strategies that focuses specifically on care of Black hair. I admire the author for handing off this section to her co-author (and co-narrator) Dr Raquel Martin, who is a Black American psychologist with personal experience.
This book is real. It cuts to the base of problems with the whys backed up by sound scientific and neurological findings. It is full of life-hacks, and more importantly, paradigm shifts. Reframing how you feel and think about your problems can help you break free from cycles of guilt and self blame, and approach problems from angles that don't look conventional, but that work for you.
I already feel more confident with my housekeeping, and I only just read the book..which in turn is helping me with other areas of confidence and motivation in my life. It's true what she says about motivation begetting motivation.
I may need to buy 2 paperback copies (one for reference and one to lend), because I know so many people for whom this book may be a life changer.
This is a book that is designed as a first line of support for people who have challenges with executive function, be that due to Neurodivergence, brain injury, chronic pain, trauma, chronic illness, anxiety or anything that causes challenges with motivation, organisation and time management, priorities, or attention span.
The author is a therapist, but also late diagnosed ADHD and a mother.. and some of her confessions about ways she copes with not being able to _even_ are just utterly relatable. It's so important to feel seen, and understood. Among friends I have shared this book with they agree that this book is one of the few self-help books they have ever read that makes them feel like they are understood, and that they aren't alone in their struggles.
-edit to add- There is a section that is part of the self care strategies that focuses specifically on care of Black hair. I admire the author for handing off this section to her co-author (and co-narrator) Dr Raquel Martin, who is a Black American psychologist with personal experience.
This book is real. It cuts to the base of problems with the whys backed up by sound scientific and neurological findings. It is full of life-hacks, and more importantly, paradigm shifts. Reframing how you feel and think about your problems can help you break free from cycles of guilt and self blame, and approach problems from angles that don't look conventional, but that work for you.
I already feel more confident with my housekeeping, and I only just read the book..which in turn is helping me with other areas of confidence and motivation in my life. It's true what she says about motivation begetting motivation.
I may need to buy 2 paperback copies (one for reference and one to lend), because I know so many people for whom this book may be a life changer.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Classism, Grief, Bullying, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Child abuse, and Emotional abuse
pineapple_queen's review against another edition
reflective
fast-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Minor: Ableism, Domestic abuse, Addiction, Fatphobia, Child abuse, Grief, Body shaming, and Drug abuse