Reviews tagging 'Domestic abuse'

Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀

8 reviews

jazlem's review against another edition

challenging dark hopeful informative reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

My first 5 star Read of 2024! This book will really stay with me for a long time (excuse the pun!) The characters had so much depth to them and the plot kept me guessing throughout, I did not expect the ending or any of the twists. It was beautifully written and kept me hooked throughout. It of course deals with some heavy themes of child loss, familial abuse and political turbulence in the landscape of 1980s Nigeria but it had a hopeful ending and I recommend everyone to read this!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Domestic abuse, Police brutality, Infertility, Death of parent, Medical content, Child death, Gun violence, and Infidelity

sharifas's review against another edition

emotional sad tense

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Child death, Death, Gaslighting, Infertility, and Misogyny

cerilouisereads's review against another edition

emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Ableism, Pregnancy, and Medical content

Moderate: Alcohol, Murder, Toxic relationship, and Sexual content

paigemignon's review against another edition

challenging emotional fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Miscarriage, Child death, and Domestic abuse

ejb44's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

 

Set in Nigeria during the 1990s and early 2000s, Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ follows Yejide and Akin on their troubled path to parenthood. The contrast between traditional family values and modern citizens breaking that norm permeates the book and is the centre of the conflict. The family are at cross-roads, with opinions rooted in Yoruba tradition and culture circling Yejide and Akin in their journey to conceive. 

Though mainly from the perspective of Yejide in the beginning, the book alternates between the two, so we read the raw emotions of both these adults as they are trying to conceive. The scale of emotional depth throughout the book is next to none, and for a debut novel, it is so raw and heart breaking that it often felt I was the protagonist going through the journey myself. 

The beauty of the writing, a style I would like to Purple Hibiscus, is what grounds the novel. Such detail to precision and a clear choice of words and plot is rare in best-selling novels and Adébáyọ̀ didn’t miss a beat in creating an enticing plot that had well developed characters and the right level of emotion to sustain the reader throughout. Adébáyọ̀ weaves the story in such a timely manner where each chapter unveils a new aspect to the story, a different angle or emotion for the reader to explore alongside the characters, and the quick pace of the novel never felt out of place. For a debut author to have such control of her writing is astonishing to see. 

My greatest joy when reading this book was seeing how flawed the characters were – time and time again, especially in marriages, writings will portray relationships as either toxic or perfect, with little room for complex analysis for themes of marital issues, divorce, cheating, infertility, child death and other more difficult subjects to discuss, but Adébáyọ̀ makes sure to centre these characters as flawed humans who are real and touchable. The book didn’t focus on who is accountable or who is to blame but just accepts that people are broken and don’t actually need fixing. This was a refreshing take on marriage, particularly marriages between African’s which often centre on African misconceptions (though, obviously, not untrue in some cases) like domestic violence and polygamy.  

The only thing that didn’t sit right with me was the ending, especially because I was so ready for this to be a five-star book. While I find it difficult to pin-point the actual reason why it annoys me so much, I thought the ending felt a little too simplistic and optimistic, especially when compared to the turbulence of the novel and the complex discussions and narratives that played throughout. I was gearing myself up for this novel to rip out my heart at the end, but in reality, I just felt numb to the ending, and perhaps that is my fault for always expecting the worst in novels. 

Overall, if you fell in love with the poetic language in Purple Hibiscus or want a novel that deals with Nigerian culture in the midst of their loose democracy being challenged, and also explores parenthood, polygamy and the dual narrative this book provides, I would highly recommend this read as it is so beautifully written. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Grief, Gun violence, Infertility, Infidelity, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Murder, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Violence

bookedbymadeline's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infertility, Infidelity, Child death, Grief, Chronic illness, Terminal illness, Mental illness, and Violence

Moderate: Medical trauma, Medical content, Blood, Gun violence, Death of parent, and Sexual content

Minor: Rape, Vomit, Domestic abuse, Murder, and Police brutality

megannewsome's review against another edition

challenging emotional tense medium-paced

• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

A beautiful but heart-wrenching story. Trulyyymy heart ached for the characters the whole time. Cultural differences between the reader and the author may play a big role in how one interprets the book; try to hold yourself back from saying "why doesn't she just ___?!" when you think things could be handled differently. There are lessons to be learned by accepting the story as presented. This book expresses the lengths one will go to for family and love, and how those efforts backfire when not communicated with the same family and loved ones.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Miscarriage and Mental illness

Minor: Domestic abuse

aegireads's review against another edition

challenging emotional sad medium-paced

• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Miscarriage, Misogyny, Infertility, Infidelity, Child death, Chronic illness, Sexual content, and Sexual violence

Moderate: Police brutality, Body shaming, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Mental illness, Gun violence, Grief, Domestic abuse, and Child abuse