Reviews tagging 'Mental illness'

Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀

20 reviews

bookishkellyn's review against another edition

sad tense

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I thought this was just going to be a dual POV novel about an infertile couple (Akin & Yejide) and the second wife (Funmi) forced upon them in the tradition of polygamy. But the book’s synopsis barely touches on the real drama that unfolds in the rest of the story–lies, deception, infidelity, murder, death. Akin was THE most duplicitous character in the book. He reminds me of a quote: “Imagine the messiest person you know. It’s a man, isn’t it?” The plot twists were an A+.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infidelity, Infertility, Child death, Abandonment, and Grief

Moderate: Violence, Death of parent, Chronic illness, Pregnancy, Sexual content, and Mental illness

Minor: Gun violence, Excrement, and Murder

kellyofcali's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

A very tough story - not for those who cannot deal with a series of crushing blows - but well written and I did feel it paints a picture of a certain place and experience. I don't know if I can say I enjoyed it, per se, given the heaviness, but I am glad I read it. I will say it is "pitched" mush differently than it reads - it's more about being in a marriage, relationships, and being a parent than about a second wife. I also found it ended a bit suddenly for me.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Death, Chronic illness, Gaslighting, Grief, Child death, Dysphoria, Infidelity, Pregnancy, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Infertility, and Terminal illness

Moderate: Sexual content, Violence, Medical content, Abandonment, and Physical abuse

Minor: War

prairiek's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death

Moderate: Gaslighting, Violence, Pregnancy, Abandonment, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, and Infidelity

Minor: Sexual content, Bullying, Death of parent, Chronic illness, and Death

georgie_mb's review against another edition

emotional sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

An easy 5 stars. 

Heartbreaking and moving, this had me routing for all the characters. The struggle of Yejide trying to conceive soon lifts back the curtain of the lies and deceit that makes up her household. There are so many twists and turns that had me gasping out loud, and if this hadn’t been part of a readathon I would have read this quicker than I did!

I also loved the settings, shifting from Nigeria in the 1980’s to the modern day, and discovering the cultural and historical references along the way. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pregnancy

Moderate: Gun violence, Child death, Chronic illness, Medical content, Death, Death of parent, and Mental illness

Minor: Excrement

katharina90's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective medium-paced

• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.0

A strong debut with lots to unpack, especially patriarchal and familial expectations around having kids and how damaging that is for couples struggling with infertility. 

I didn't find the characters very likable but my heart still broke for them. 

The audiobook is narrated well and helped transport me to Nigeria where the story takes place.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Infertility, Mental illness, Child death, Sexism, Infidelity, Gun violence, and Grief

Minor: Sexual content

cerilouisereads's review against another edition

emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Ableism, Pregnancy, and Medical content

Moderate: Alcohol, Murder, Toxic relationship, and Sexual content

booktrovert's review against another edition

emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Misogyny, Mental illness, and Infertility

maggiefaye's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective sad

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Child death, Infidelity, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Infertility, Injury/Injury detail, Chronic illness, and Grief

Moderate: Death of parent

davidbythebay's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Absolutely brilliant! A lovely and devastating book that looks at a marriage from the 1980s through 2008, all with the background of Nigeria and its political turmoil. 

I first heard about this back in 2017 on NPR. I bought the book right before the pandemic started in 2020. And I finally read it now in September 2022. I do not know why I waited. If the discussion on NPR and the description wasn't enough, Margaret Atwood's Twitter review ("Scorching, gripping, ultimately lovely.") Should have really pushed this book forward for me as Atwood is an all-time favorite author of mine. But somehow I kept putting this off. 

First, let me say that it did take me a minute to get into the swing of things. By that I mean that sometimes Nigerian customs and phrases are used that usually have context clues or translations around where they are, but as I am fascinated by culture and language I often was paused by. Also, and more importantly, the story does have a dual POV which is never explicitly labeled at the start of a chapter. It was easy to pick up within the first paragraph or sentence who was talking, but it did throw me off a bit at first. 

The dual timeline (east Part begins in 2008 before going back in time to the 1980s and 90s) was easy to discern. It was very much a few chapters in 2008 with the majority of the book being a linear story of Akin and Yejide's marriage. What they went through was devastating and I won't go into it much here, but know that if you are sensitive to some topics, be warned.

Those "gripes" being laid out now, the whole book from start to finish was a captivating journey that really did sing off the page. It was lyrical and completely immersive. I learned a lot about Nigerian customs and traditions, as well as some history. This story, though, could really have been set anywhere at anytime. It is a universal story of marriage. The setting and timeperiod, however, added a whole other layer to the work and really was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous prose sang off the page and left haunting images. 

The ending felt completely right and full. Though Part 4 is short, the book has led to this moment and you can feel it. There is a hope and a future that is shadowy and unseen, but there is a great feeling at the end that left me feeling elated by the book. 

Do not hesitate like I did... read this now! I see the author has a new novel coming out early next year. My plan is to not wait on that as I did this one. A new classic to be sure and a brilliant debut novel. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pregnancy

Moderate: Alcohol, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Infidelity, Mental illness, Violence, Blood, Death, Abandonment, Child death, Chronic illness, Grief, Medical content, and Murder

reading_and_roaming20's review against another edition

emotional sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Oh my poor, poor heart. It is heavy and sad and feeling many feels. That’s it. That’s the review. 

Ok jk, that’s not the whole review but that’s the gist. 

I really enjoyed the dual timelines happening here. The structure was similar to THE ISLAND OF SEA WOMEN where we’re in the character’s present day every few chapters and learning about the past for the majority of the book. 

In this case, we got to see Yejide and Amin’s marriage from both of their perspectives. Watching them go from young and in love, knowing from the first chapter that they don’t wind up together, pulled me right in. They had so much stacked against them with infertility and the cultural family pressure to have children. (Big trigger warning there.)

In a short 260 pages, this story hits time and time again with heartbreaking twists that had me pausing to soak in what I had just read. 

AND THAT ENDING. I can’t express myself properly without spoilers. It just………..it was good but it hurt. 

This is the kind of book that you have to be in the right mindset for. That said, if you’re ready to wind up emotionally ragged, it is absolutely a must-read. I loved it. I am sad. The end.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infertility, Mental illness, Pregnancy, Child death, and Terminal illness