Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀

11 reviews

kellyofcali's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

A very tough story - not for those who cannot deal with a series of crushing blows - but well written and I did feel it paints a picture of a certain place and experience. I don't know if I can say I enjoyed it, per se, given the heaviness, but I am glad I read it. I will say it is "pitched" mush differently than it reads - it's more about being in a marriage, relationships, and being a parent than about a second wife. I also found it ended a bit suddenly for me.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Death, Chronic illness, Gaslighting, Grief, Child death, Dysphoria, Infidelity, Pregnancy, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Infertility, and Terminal illness

Moderate: Sexual content, Violence, Medical content, Abandonment, and Physical abuse

Minor: War

snapshotsofabookishlass's review against another edition

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death and Infertility

Moderate: Grief, Toxic relationship, and Death of parent

vedpears's review against another edition

challenging emotional inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Loved this book. The story sucked me in right away and made me tear up and/or cry a few times. As a mother, there were certain plot points that struck very deeply. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infertility, Infidelity, Gaslighting, Death, Grief, Child death, Terminal illness, Pregnancy, Dysphoria, and Chronic illness

Moderate: Toxic relationship, War, Police brutality, Death of parent, and Murder

Minor: Bullying, Gun violence, and Mass/school shootings

cerilouisereads's review against another edition

emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Ableism, Pregnancy, and Medical content

Moderate: Alcohol, Murder, Toxic relationship, and Sexual content

maithaalfalasi's review against another edition

dark emotional tense

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Infertility, Infidelity, and Toxic relationship

bandysbooks's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

This book went in way different directions than I was expecting. It is a very dark story and unbearably sad. I found myself viscerally frustrated at several points while reading. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Child death, Death, Gaslighting, Grief, Medical content, Miscarriage, Mental illness, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Infertility, Infidelity, and Pregnancy

amberinbookland's review against another edition

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infertility, Infidelity, Religious bigotry, Gun violence, Child death, Terminal illness, Medical content, Medical trauma, War, Violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Pregnancy, Murder, Miscarriage, Grief, Death of parent, Death, Blood, Alcohol, and Abandonment

deezy's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Grief, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Sexism, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, and Violence

Moderate: Death of parent

Minor: Murder

ejb44's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

 

Set in Nigeria during the 1990s and early 2000s, Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ follows Yejide and Akin on their troubled path to parenthood. The contrast between traditional family values and modern citizens breaking that norm permeates the book and is the centre of the conflict. The family are at cross-roads, with opinions rooted in Yoruba tradition and culture circling Yejide and Akin in their journey to conceive. 

Though mainly from the perspective of Yejide in the beginning, the book alternates between the two, so we read the raw emotions of both these adults as they are trying to conceive. The scale of emotional depth throughout the book is next to none, and for a debut novel, it is so raw and heart breaking that it often felt I was the protagonist going through the journey myself. 

The beauty of the writing, a style I would like to Purple Hibiscus, is what grounds the novel. Such detail to precision and a clear choice of words and plot is rare in best-selling novels and Adébáyọ̀ didn’t miss a beat in creating an enticing plot that had well developed characters and the right level of emotion to sustain the reader throughout. Adébáyọ̀ weaves the story in such a timely manner where each chapter unveils a new aspect to the story, a different angle or emotion for the reader to explore alongside the characters, and the quick pace of the novel never felt out of place. For a debut author to have such control of her writing is astonishing to see. 

My greatest joy when reading this book was seeing how flawed the characters were – time and time again, especially in marriages, writings will portray relationships as either toxic or perfect, with little room for complex analysis for themes of marital issues, divorce, cheating, infertility, child death and other more difficult subjects to discuss, but Adébáyọ̀ makes sure to centre these characters as flawed humans who are real and touchable. The book didn’t focus on who is accountable or who is to blame but just accepts that people are broken and don’t actually need fixing. This was a refreshing take on marriage, particularly marriages between African’s which often centre on African misconceptions (though, obviously, not untrue in some cases) like domestic violence and polygamy.  

The only thing that didn’t sit right with me was the ending, especially because I was so ready for this to be a five-star book. While I find it difficult to pin-point the actual reason why it annoys me so much, I thought the ending felt a little too simplistic and optimistic, especially when compared to the turbulence of the novel and the complex discussions and narratives that played throughout. I was gearing myself up for this novel to rip out my heart at the end, but in reality, I just felt numb to the ending, and perhaps that is my fault for always expecting the worst in novels. 

Overall, if you fell in love with the poetic language in Purple Hibiscus or want a novel that deals with Nigerian culture in the midst of their loose democracy being challenged, and also explores parenthood, polygamy and the dual narrative this book provides, I would highly recommend this read as it is so beautifully written. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Grief, Gun violence, Infertility, Infidelity, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Murder, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Violence

aegireads's review against another edition

challenging emotional sad medium-paced

• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Miscarriage, Misogyny, Infertility, Infidelity, Child death, Chronic illness, Sexual content, and Sexual violence

Moderate: Police brutality, Body shaming, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Mental illness, Gun violence, Grief, Domestic abuse, and Child abuse