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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
Having followed the Twitter account for several years (https://twitter.com/duchessgoldblat), I expected to be really captivated by this book, but I was a little underwhelmed. The person behind the Twitter account remains anonymous in this book, and details how she created the persona as a coping mechanism during a terrible time in her life. Although there really were terrible things (divorce, job loss, and more), it was hard to conjure sympathy at times; it felt like she would treat her friends like crap and then blame them for abandoning her. Some of the Lyle Lovett stuff -- pages of dialogue -- had me wondering if she'd recorded their conversations, which felt odd. But the book took a while to reveal some parts of the author's childhood and how her brain works (she really does seem to be wired in a special way, like maybe she CAN recite pages of conversation from memory) that made all of that make a little more sense. But this is essentially a memoir of a person in pain, and I hope she's found some relief and a good therapist.
I was interested in how a lot of the persona of the Duchess is based on a painting found by a random Google. This post by the museum that houses the painting is fun: https://www.nga.gov/blog/frans-hals-duchess-goldblatt.html
Quotes:
"I'm also aware of a quote often attributed to Freud: 'All family life is organized around the most damaged person in it.'"
"Duchess's relentless insistence on her own physical beauty is both a running joke and a call to others to see and acknowledge their own gifts. When we rely on self-deprecating humor, we're trying to neutralize criticism preemptively, and there are echoes of ancient superstitions. I will deny my own gifts so that the gods don't punish me and take them away.
Duchess goes the other direction. Her old heart is broken and in tatters, but the world is beautiful and she loves it. She makes herself as large as possible. She reminds people that they're better than they give themselves credit for, that their creative efforts matter, that they have a responsibility to extend themselves on the side of righteousness and do their best work. It's part of the reason that she holds herself up as an example of physical beauty. If Duchess Goldblatt announces herself as beautiful, how can you not also acknowledge your own beauty?"
I was interested in how a lot of the persona of the Duchess is based on a painting found by a random Google. This post by the museum that houses the painting is fun: https://www.nga.gov/blog/frans-hals-duchess-goldblatt.html
Quotes:
"I'm also aware of a quote often attributed to Freud: 'All family life is organized around the most damaged person in it.'"
"Duchess's relentless insistence on her own physical beauty is both a running joke and a call to others to see and acknowledge their own gifts. When we rely on self-deprecating humor, we're trying to neutralize criticism preemptively, and there are echoes of ancient superstitions. I will deny my own gifts so that the gods don't punish me and take them away.
Duchess goes the other direction. Her old heart is broken and in tatters, but the world is beautiful and she loves it. She makes herself as large as possible. She reminds people that they're better than they give themselves credit for, that their creative efforts matter, that they have a responsibility to extend themselves on the side of righteousness and do their best work. It's part of the reason that she holds herself up as an example of physical beauty. If Duchess Goldblatt announces herself as beautiful, how can you not also acknowledge your own beauty?"
It took me a long time to finish this book. That’s not because it was bad, but because it is too good. It is inspirational and aspirational. Real tears and belly laughs. My ‘Phone a Friend’ when I needed a pick me up. I didn’t want to finish it because I was reading it while in the middle of a pandemic and the most horrid things were going on “outside” that I needed that lifeline. I wanted some part of Duchess to be waiting for me with a surprise letting me know once again that “you can do it, honey bunch”.
I’ve so marked it with sticky tags that it is a bit of a literary porcupine and it might just be the first book that I write in to remind me of my own worth.
I’m not sure that enough good can be said.
I’ve so marked it with sticky tags that it is a bit of a literary porcupine and it might just be the first book that I write in to remind me of my own worth.
I’m not sure that enough good can be said.
What a surprise. This slim book is one of my favorite reads of the year. Sweet but satisfying, amusing, funny, a little sad here and there but, ultimately, wonderfully uplifting. "Becoming Duchess Goldblatt" explores social media, capitalism, the healing power of music, families, loss, love, women in society and in the workplace but, mostly, community. Although not the best novel I've read this year, not the finest writing, if I could only suggest one novel to read this year, "Becoming Duchess Goldblatt" might be the one.
It started out as a very difficult story to hear, but developed into something I didn't want to miss a minute of. I want more Duchess!
At the time of writing this review, the average rating on GoodReads is 4.62 - that is probably exactly what I'd give it, but only because I'm terribly stingy with my 5* ratings.
This is a most surprising, heart-warming, tender, humorous memoir by Duchess Goldblatt and the anonymous writer who carries the Duchess in her heart and head. Anonymous is a very skilled writer, but is also incredibly humble and self-deprecating. @DuchessGoldblat had about 20'000 followers on Twitter last month, and I expect the numbers to go viral at the rate of Covid-19 now that this book is available. It's close to 40K today already, that's a pretty good R-factor, wouldn't you say?!
To her loyal followers, she is "Your Grace", and gracious she is; full of kindness and humour. Many life lessons can be learned from this wise, warm and witty person, whether she is Duchess Goldblatt or her more vulnerable self.
The author had a very close, mutually doting relationship with her father. He was a big influence on her and helped shape Duchess' heart of gold and inclusive (Goldbl)attitude to life and all the loons and sweethearts out there in the world.
Here are a couple of great lessons, especially for the toxic times we live in:
My father used to try to tell me to never say anything about anyone that I wouldn't want them to overhear. "It will make you boring in conversation sometimes", he said. "Maybe you know something private about someone that's embarrassing, and you could say it at a party, make everybody laugh. You'll have to hold yourself back from doing it. Give up the fun of getting that laughter for yourself. But if you believe that you're called to never cause pain to another human being, it won't be a hard choice." ...... It's harder work to reach out further for the joke that's fun and can't hurt anybody.
Secondly:
If you've ever wondered what the right thing is to say to someone who is grieving a death, I think this is it: "Tell me all about your dear one!"
Finally..... Lyle Lovett.... OMG, how amazing and generous is he?! I loved how their friendship simply started and grew, his ongoing contributions to the Duchess' rich online persona and the community that has formed around her, his way of expressing concern and kindness, and of course his partaking of this brilliant audio book. It's truly the icing on the Goldblatt cake!
This is a most surprising, heart-warming, tender, humorous memoir by Duchess Goldblatt and the anonymous writer who carries the Duchess in her heart and head. Anonymous is a very skilled writer, but is also incredibly humble and self-deprecating. @DuchessGoldblat had about 20'000 followers on Twitter last month, and I expect the numbers to go viral at the rate of Covid-19 now that this book is available. It's close to 40K today already, that's a pretty good R-factor, wouldn't you say?!
To her loyal followers, she is "Your Grace", and gracious she is; full of kindness and humour. Many life lessons can be learned from this wise, warm and witty person, whether she is Duchess Goldblatt or her more vulnerable self.
The author had a very close, mutually doting relationship with her father. He was a big influence on her and helped shape Duchess' heart of gold and inclusive (Goldbl)attitude to life and all the loons and sweethearts out there in the world.
Here are a couple of great lessons, especially for the toxic times we live in:
My father used to try to tell me to never say anything about anyone that I wouldn't want them to overhear. "It will make you boring in conversation sometimes", he said. "Maybe you know something private about someone that's embarrassing, and you could say it at a party, make everybody laugh. You'll have to hold yourself back from doing it. Give up the fun of getting that laughter for yourself. But if you believe that you're called to never cause pain to another human being, it won't be a hard choice." ...... It's harder work to reach out further for the joke that's fun and can't hurt anybody.
Secondly:
If you've ever wondered what the right thing is to say to someone who is grieving a death, I think this is it: "Tell me all about your dear one!"
Finally..... Lyle Lovett.... OMG, how amazing and generous is he?! I loved how their friendship simply started and grew, his ongoing contributions to the Duchess' rich online persona and the community that has formed around her, his way of expressing concern and kindness, and of course his partaking of this brilliant audio book. It's truly the icing on the Goldblatt cake!
This book surprised me. I thought it was going to be mostly funny, and while there is humor, the book is much more about how you heal yourself when life gets hard, and how you can bring about healing through compassion, empathy, and kindness towards others, regardless of whether they deserve it or not.
Listen to the audiobook if you can! Lyle Lovett narrates his part. It’s delightful.
Psychologically interesting but...Am I the only one who found her two personas impossible to reconcile?
emotional
funny
medium-paced
This is one of the more remarkable, heartwarming, intriguing books I’ve read in recent memory. I hadn’t noticed it was a memoir until I was almost done with it—honestly it made an excellent novel, but it’s even better knowing it’s a true story. Beautifully and memorably written.