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megatsunami's review against another edition
4.0
3.5 stars. I really enjoyed reading this book and it led me to question and/or rethink many of my assumptions regarding children/youth and sex. Some important and interesting points:
- As a therapist, I found the "therapy" chapter really interesting. I had some disagreements (see below) but found it refreshing to hear someone challenging some sacred cows of the therapy field.
- It can be really damaging when we pathologize children's normative sexual behavior as abuse, molestation, or trauma reaction. (Also, I thought she made a good point about how little we really understand about what IS "normal" sexual behavior for children.)
- Statutory rape laws are really problematic, as is defining the "age of consent." The example story she tells about a young man who gets convicted of statutory rape is pretty sad.
- Her critique of sex education points out that it's problematic to encourage young people to make sex all about love and commitment, because actually they are more likely to make poor safety choices in the context of romantic love (e.g. agreeing not to use a condom because you are hooked into the narrative of "This is true love and you are the only person I'll ever be with").
- Also, her critique of sex education points out that even those who are willing for teenagers to have sex, don't want them to ENJOY it.
- I liked that she challenged the equation that girls' sexual activity = lack of self-esteem. This is really problematic and I think it's a really common belief/ assumption among therapists, teachers, and others who work with youth.
A few issues:
- Overall: This book was clearly written by a journalist with an ear for a good story. Throughout the book, the line "The plural of anecdote is not data" kept coming to mind. A great example can really serve to illustrate a point; but a great example doesn't necessarily PROVE a point.
- Why does Levine have such a beef with Toni Cavanagh Johnson? (She's a therapist who writes about how to assess children's sexual behavior.) As I said earlier, it's true that we don't necessarily understand what IS normal sexual behavior for children. Still, as a therapist, I've always found Johnson's guidelines to be pretty sensible. (For example, judging whether a sexual behavior is problematic based on the child's affect and feelings about it, rather than saying a specific behavior is always right or wrong.)
- She claims that being sexually abused is not linked to becoming a sexual abuser, because most ppl who are sexually abused don't go on to molest others. True, but (as I've always understood the research to show) most people who molest others had been sexually abused themselves. So clearly just being sexually abused doesn't automatically make you an abuser, but that doesn't mean there's no correlation. She doesn't address this at all.
- As a therapist, I found the "therapy" chapter really interesting. I had some disagreements (see below) but found it refreshing to hear someone challenging some sacred cows of the therapy field.
- It can be really damaging when we pathologize children's normative sexual behavior as abuse, molestation, or trauma reaction. (Also, I thought she made a good point about how little we really understand about what IS "normal" sexual behavior for children.)
- Statutory rape laws are really problematic, as is defining the "age of consent." The example story she tells about a young man who gets convicted of statutory rape is pretty sad.
- Her critique of sex education points out that it's problematic to encourage young people to make sex all about love and commitment, because actually they are more likely to make poor safety choices in the context of romantic love (e.g. agreeing not to use a condom because you are hooked into the narrative of "This is true love and you are the only person I'll ever be with").
- Also, her critique of sex education points out that even those who are willing for teenagers to have sex, don't want them to ENJOY it.
- I liked that she challenged the equation that girls' sexual activity = lack of self-esteem. This is really problematic and I think it's a really common belief/ assumption among therapists, teachers, and others who work with youth.
A few issues:
- Overall: This book was clearly written by a journalist with an ear for a good story. Throughout the book, the line "The plural of anecdote is not data" kept coming to mind. A great example can really serve to illustrate a point; but a great example doesn't necessarily PROVE a point.
- Why does Levine have such a beef with Toni Cavanagh Johnson? (She's a therapist who writes about how to assess children's sexual behavior.) As I said earlier, it's true that we don't necessarily understand what IS normal sexual behavior for children. Still, as a therapist, I've always found Johnson's guidelines to be pretty sensible. (For example, judging whether a sexual behavior is problematic based on the child's affect and feelings about it, rather than saying a specific behavior is always right or wrong.)
- She claims that being sexually abused is not linked to becoming a sexual abuser, because most ppl who are sexually abused don't go on to molest others. True, but (as I've always understood the research to show) most people who molest others had been sexually abused themselves. So clearly just being sexually abused doesn't automatically make you an abuser, but that doesn't mean there's no correlation. She doesn't address this at all.
gorditacrunchpuzzle's review against another edition
5.0
Highly recommend. Frank discussions about sex and sexuality need to happen at all ages, but I think it is especially important in childhood. The American right has pushed the idea that sex is shameful - while this book was talking of the 80s and 90s I feel we are still feeling the reprecussions of this view along with abstinence only education.
yourfriendtorie's review
3.0
If anyone doesn't quite see how the ultra-conservative Christian Fundamentalist agenda is and has been effecting the most intimate decisions we make, including how we raise children, this book will break much of it down for you. It took me a little while to process some of the things that Levine was arguing, because it goes against so much of what I was raised with, and you'll see what I mean if you read the book. Once I situated what she was writing within the right frame of mind, I found myself understanding and agreeing with a lot of it. I was kind of amazed that a book written a few years ago could still not only be so timely but could speak to so many oppressive moves by the right wing that are taking place right now. The joke that is sex education ("abstinence only") being one of them. Coincidentally, I've also been following a lot of the same issues on a great blog called Feministing (http://feministing.com/). For sure check it out.
olivinebranch's review against another edition
Thought I'd need the whole thing for research, only needed some sections
chrisiant's review against another edition
5.0
Great book. I'm going to re-read it and take notes because I'm going to want to remember a lot of her points. More later...
jaymeshaw's review against another edition
I gave up on this book. It was so heavy and so wordy that I just called it quits. Also it was 14 years old and I would have preferred something more current.
mkat303's review against another edition
5.0
The author is speaking at the Bay Area Anarchist Bookfair this weekend. http://sfbookfair.wordpress.com/
solovei's review
4.0
I saw this book in my university's library and skimmed through it, needing something to read on the bus that day. I took it home and could not put it down for the next 14 hours. It's an interesting exploration of many issues that a lot of people find too shocking or improper to talk about. I commend the author for not only daring to approach this subject but also for doing it with such a compassionate and educated stance.