Reviews with content warning for Toxic relationship - How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water

Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water by Angie Cruz

10 reviews

irinalast's review

dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Strangely relatable experiences of childhood and relationships - as someone from a Slavic immigrant family. Cara has a distinct voice, and we can understand her thoughts and actions even while we see her flaws and wrongs. I wish her character the best.

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abnormal_shadow's review

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emotional funny inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I didn't go into this book with a clear understanding of what it was. I listened to this as an audiobook on Libby and I would very much recommend this method. It felt like a podcast. The main character address me as a character. In the book I answer her questions, I follow her story and I check up on her. The audiobook had music, the sounds of waves and the scratching of pens and pencils on paper. The main character is flawed, she often doesn't see how she makes people actually feel. She is confident and assertive to the extent that

it took a public argument with her sister to understand how she actual hurt the people in her life (Fernando and the sister). Its seeing the other side of a child's life, how she feels she was doing her best, her side of the day that her son left, her side of the lives of those around her, her account of events.

You can tell in the book that she is an unreliable narrator and its easy to sympathize with her until certain things click you as a reader get angry with her but not for long. She is not a bad person she is just doing bad things and doesn't understand that.

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greatexpectations77's review against another edition

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emotional funny reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

This one didn't really do it for me, but I feel like if it was a one-woman show on a stage, I would be in. I think it was just a format thing? I'm not sure what else was missing for me, but I appreciated the whimsical style of the author, and I would read Ms. Cruz again.

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seethinglloron's review

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emotional funny reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

What an incredible novel. Cried for the last 20 pages. Hard to read, but as someone with a family that is not dissimilar, I could not put it down. This was healing for me to read, to be honest. I wish this had existed when I was in high school and I'd picked it up.

Funny, charming, heartwrenching. Every mistake Cara made tore my heart out. Every hurt she caused and every hurt she endured made me have to take a deep breath. Incredible.

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theabee's review

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emotional sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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readingwithcoffee's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Overall the book is about a woman using her job counselor more as therapist because she has no one to talk to and as the sessions continue and she looks for employment in an unforgiving country and city she unpacks the harm that’s been done to her and that she’s done to others.

A refreshing older woman protagonist but if you go in not expecting the character unpack domestic and child abuse and how she continued the cycles and tries it break them it may catch you off guard. I heavily recommend checking out the content warnings. Also most of the time the Spanglish made sense but there were times when instead “he has ten years” clearly being someone in English mimicking Spanish’s “Él tengo diez años”, instead at times it felt like taking a random word and making it Spanish to make sure we remember she’s poorly educated ESL especially that one sentence she didn’t recognize Chile the country despite being Latin American that seemed silly to me.

Small details but they bothered me, all in all Cara Romero is a very human character from her selfless virtues to her flaws that hurt everyone including herself. It made me cry which is a positive to the writer!

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booksinherhead's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

this epistolary novel absolutely caught me by surprise! In HOW NOT TO DROWN IN A GLASS OF WATER Dominican immigrant Cara Romero carefully describes her life to her job counselor over twelve sessions. Artful, lush, heartbreaking, and hopeful. I won't forget this one anytime soon. THIS is the sort of novel I truly love to read.

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reads_eats_explores's review

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emotional funny hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

It’s 2009, and while “El Obama” works to piece together a shattered US economy, Cara Romero, at age 56, must find a job of her own or face her benefits ceased.

She’s been unemployed for two years since the factory where she worked most of her life moved its operations abroad.

Cars attends ‘La Escuelita’ as part of a Senior Workforce Program in New York, where she sits down with a city employee, a younger Dominican American woman, for 12 sessions, during which they will work together to find Cara a job that matches her skills and interests.

Throughout the sessions, with wit and warmth, Cara recounts her upbringing in the Dominican Republic, her journey to the United States, estrangement from her only child, relationships with her sister and extended family, and commitment to her largely disadvantaged immigrant Washington Heights community.

The potency of Cara’s first-person voice as she speaks to the job counsellor is stunning, including some delectable multilingual turns of phrase that only heighten Cara’s authenticity. Cruz intersperses the 12 sessions with documents like rent notices and job application materials she must complete, including a “Career Skills Matcher,” all of which work together to demonstrate both the power of bureaucracy to complicate a person’s life and the ability of paperwork to tell one version of a person’s story while often hiding their reality and what makes life truly rich.

Despite all the hardships that Cara faces, the book also resounds with the sense that Cara loves and believes in herself. She is one strong lady, but behind the facade, she battles plenty of inner turmoil.

How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water is beautiful, a thoroughly engaging read that I devoured in one sitting.

Sure, haven't we all felt the need at one time or another to ‘desahogar’? A Spanish phrase, which translated, literally means “to un-drown.” To pour one’s heart out and cry until there is no need to cry anymore. 5⭐

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this e-ARC in return for an honest review.

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criticalgayze's review against another edition

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emotional funny inspiring fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

This is my 5th book for the Aspen Words Literary Prize longlist and my first audiobook of the year.

The audiobook was recommended to me specifically as the way to interact with this one, and I couldn't agree more. Rossmery Almante's portrayal of Cara Romero is incredibly endearing, and they do some fun and interesting things with sound effects and music that make the listening experience feel more immersive.

Storytelling gimmicks are a hard trick to pull off, and I didn't always groove with this one, but Cara Romero (through Cruz's caring work crafting her voice, is so indelible that this can often be overlooked. She is so incredibly funny but also so intuitively kind and self-reflective. I also like the satire present in some of the interstitial materials between interviews and the commentary those provide on the modern state of rent in America, especially in metropolitan areas.

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just_one_more_paige's review

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emotional funny hopeful reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I had checked this one out from the library on impulse (having enjoyed Cruz's first novel, Dominicana, and having seen a number of great reviews for this one). And literally while I had it checked out, the Aspen Words 2023 longlist got announced and this was on it! I haven't decided yet if I am planning to read the full longlist like I have the past couple years, but I'm thrilled that a number of the books this year are already ones I want to read (it's a great looking longlist, as always!). So, just in case I decide to go for this reading challenge for a third year, here's the first.

Cara Romero is in her mid-50s when she loses the job she's held for years becasue the lamp factory she worked in closes down. She is set up with a job counselor for "seniors" to help her find another employment opportunity and over the course of 12 sessions with this counselor Cara tells the story of her life. From gossip about her up-and-down relationships with all her neighbors in her rent-controlled housing in NYC, to her complicated relationship with her sister Angela, to the story of how she came to immigrate to America from the Dominican Republic, to her deepest, darkest secret(s) and the reasons her son, Fernando, is now estranged, Cara tells it all.

Y'all, this narrator! Cara is a force of voice from the very first page, her charisma and feisty personality hit you hard and fast and you cannot help falling in love with her. And even as, the further you read, the more you see that Cara spins her words/actions so as to never be her own fault, and it absolutely does make you angry, you still cannot help being drawn in by her perspective. You still want to give her the benefit of the doubt, when considering everything in light of her personal experiences and circumstances. By the end, all the reflection time her monologuing with the career counselor offers her gives the space to legitimately try to make changes. And you are back to feeling good about cheering for her (or the most part). And honestly, the tangibility and strength of her voice are so strong, and the emotional responses I had as she went through her story-telling, it was just...incredibly compelling as a result of Cruz's masterful writing. One final note on the writing, the flow of the Spanglish was rhythmic and lovely and one of my favorite things. (This was highlighted in a selection from a couple years ago as well, Fiebre Tropical, and I loved it then too.)

There were quite a few concepts and themes addressed in this novel, despite its short length, and they were all intertwined in such a smooth and authentic, and fully developed, way. A number of these could be emotionally fraught to read about, so please keep that in mind going into this as a reader. There was a really touching reflection on the way that a mother's trauma can be passed to a child, even as their only goal/thought is to protect them from whatever that trauma was happening to them too. In this case, it was mostly acted out as a conflating of homosexuality with softness, and a need to quash it in order to make a child strong enough to survive. It was tough and angering to read but a reality for many (especially, I think, in this first generation population - though that is absolutely a stereotype, and not always the case, either way, of course). It was heartbreaking in the way that that level of “love,” the fine lines of paranoia and protection, can cause such a rift. From a parental perspective, this MC, an older immigrant parent of adult-aged children is not one that I often see represented (usually we get their children's POVs), so that was original and I appreciated it, in both its peculiarities and universalities (like a parent's joint disappointment and relief when a child is just fine without them). And really, what a message about how the ties of family [traditionally] trump all else, even when it's not healthy or it looks like supporting someone unhealthy or that you'd rather not support...but you do it anyways because you feel like you must/have no choice (and maybe sometimes out of guilt/repayment). Phew - that was a lot.

There was an absolutely spectacular highlighting of the key role women play in their communities, that is, essentially, unpaid labor, without which communities and families would flounder/fail. However, it often goes unrecognized and the time/effort it takes is not considered in governmental definitions/expectations of “work.” This is even starker against the backdrop of financial hardship, access barriers, family dynamics and intergenerational differences, and the environmental concerns of gentrification and political landscape that Cara is portrayed within. Finally, I want to note what a gorgeous and subtle message this book holds on the importance of the role therapy can play (and healing it can provide), even/especially for the reluctant.

Just, really, what a tour de force of narrative voice Cruz has created in this novel. Cara Romero is compelling, humanly flawed, and genuinely trying - in short, absolutely and universally recognizable. And you literally cannot help but love her exposition. An understated and short novel that hits with an unexpected amount of emotional impact.

“When you need each other to survive, you forgive. That's the way it is.”

“You can plan all you want, but nature will always show you who's el jefe.”

“I learned the difficult way that you have to be gentle with your children, or you can lose them forever.”

“Anyway, I try not to think about the past, because what can we do about it?"

“Who wants to live in a lie? Freedom is being able to live your truth without having to apologize for it.”

“It is difficult to be happy for others when you have many problems.”

“Talking to you, all these weeks, has been very good for me. I have learned a lot. Talking always reminds me that no matter how difficult my life is, I have always found a solution to my problems. When I think about this, I am not afraid. We can do this. I can do it. Write this down: Cara Romero is still here, entera.”

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