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erebus53's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
This is possibly a book that was accidentally chosen by my cat taking a shortcut across my keyboard when I was out of the room? I found it added to my TBR list and not even in audiobook form, so I swear I don't know how it got there. I didn't even read the blurb, so I decided to run with it and went in completely blind... well.. blinder than normal. I tracked down an audio version and off I went.
At the start of this book the first thing that struck me was the humour. I loved how descriptive it was. It really made me smile. The people-watching and the attention to detail was really amusing. The story is told in three parts from the perspectives of three different people, and tells the story of a woman who has made the decision to own herself, how she presents herself, and her own values.
The action starts in the gym, where there is an entire unpacking of the sorts of norms and expectations that are placed, predominantly on women. In a couple of places I felt the narrative slip a bit as it felt like a woman writing a man, but the audiobook narrator is really delightful and he performed the part brilliantly, so I let it slide. The whole feel of the piece was both delightful and disarming, but also just borderline creepy.
The Second part is the point of view of the mother of an adult child, thinking back over the parenting journey. This allows the story to dwell on the idea of taking back initiative for a life that has been focused on meeting the needs of a child. The entitlement of children also features here, and also what it's like to raise a child with psychological / neurological challenges as a sole parent.
Thirdly we have the story of the woman who is caregiver to a grieving friend. It describes how in caring for others this sometimes provides the structure we need to look after ourselves, and takes a look at the reciprocity in a codependent relationship.
A lot of this story deals with, self-possession, agency and autonomy, self-transformation, trauma and emotional abuse, anxiety, being a caregiver, curated image and parasocial influencers, and eschewing beauty norms to embrace and create your own aesthetic.
Mainly it comes down to the interplay of
Giving up self for others — Giving up others for self.
Having just read a book about a hikikomori (shut in) this was a big focus of this book. It takes the idea of individualism and scrutinises the role of social media. Much of it is left unsaid and I found it really thought provoking. By the end of the book I felt very unfulfilled, but that really seems to work for a book like this. I guess it drops a pile of ideas at your feet and then leaves you to deal with them all by yourself.
At the start of this book the first thing that struck me was the humour. I loved how descriptive it was. It really made me smile. The people-watching and the attention to detail was really amusing. The story is told in three parts from the perspectives of three different people, and tells the story of a woman who has made the decision to own herself, how she presents herself, and her own values.
The action starts in the gym, where there is an entire unpacking of the sorts of norms and expectations that are placed, predominantly on women. In a couple of places I felt the narrative slip a bit as it felt like a woman writing a man, but the audiobook narrator is really delightful and he performed the part brilliantly, so I let it slide. The whole feel of the piece was both delightful and disarming, but also just borderline creepy.
The Second part is the point of view of the mother of an adult child, thinking back over the parenting journey. This allows the story to dwell on the idea of taking back initiative for a life that has been focused on meeting the needs of a child. The entitlement of children also features here, and also what it's like to raise a child with psychological / neurological challenges as a sole parent.
Thirdly we have the story of the woman who is caregiver to a grieving friend. It describes how in caring for others this sometimes provides the structure we need to look after ourselves, and takes a look at the reciprocity in a codependent relationship.
A lot of this story deals with, self-possession, agency and autonomy, self-transformation, trauma and emotional abuse, anxiety, being a caregiver, curated image and parasocial influencers, and eschewing beauty norms to embrace and create your own aesthetic.
Mainly it comes down to the interplay of
Giving up self for others — Giving up others for self.
Having just read a book about a hikikomori (shut in) this was a big focus of this book. It takes the idea of individualism and scrutinises the role of social media. Much of it is left unsaid and I found it really thought provoking. By the end of the book I felt very unfulfilled, but that really seems to work for a book like this. I guess it drops a pile of ideas at your feet and then leaves you to deal with them all by yourself.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy, Sexism, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Bullying, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Alcohol and Grief
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