frances_chan's review against another edition

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challenging informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

plateye's review against another edition

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hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

One of the most insightful and helpful books I’ve ever read. It changed how I approach employees, coworkers, friends, family. Required reading for addressing The Loneliness Epidemic. 

c_hollow's review against another edition

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4.0

Wish I could copy and paste Rebecca’s review. This book is worth reading, not perfect but very insightful. Biggest take away so replace “What?” with “How & Why?” And people want to be deeply seen, heard and understood.

lilyevangeline's review against another edition

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informative reflective medium-paced

3.0

suzieel's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

sovereign_taweret's review against another edition

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medium-paced

4.0

edlee3's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

25benfadens's review against another edition

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David Brooks writes like a journalist. As he makes very clear, this is not an area his is an expert in — in fact, he switches between disciplines to discuss the (very general) problem at hand without warning and demonstrated very little depth of understanding of the subject matter. Perhaps I am not the right audience, but most of the claims he made were things I already knew and took for granted, or claims that were unsupported. I don't like the taxonomy of all people into illuminators and diminishers; it isn't clear at all what we are supposed to take from this except that diminishers are bad people and illuminators are good people (or, diminshing behavior is bad and illuminating behavior is good). It's not nuanced, and after reading Pinker it doesn't seem intellectually stimulating.

Also, it is not very elegant writing. I had to reread sentences on a few occasions because I couldn't decode the referent of the pronouns. The structure of the book or any individual chapter is not made apparent. The little stories he told sometimes seemed unrelated from the point, or at best not really evidence at all. Perhaps I just don't like journalism.

jeninchi's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring slow-paced

4.0

pineconek's review against another edition

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informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

2.5

This is basically "dang, I discovered emotional vulnerability and it's kind of neat" as a book. 

I picked this up because I'm in a stage of my life where I'm actively trying to be less dismissive of people who don't share my world view. I find this really hard in the current social climate, where one (1) Bad Opinion can be used to dismiss someone as not worth listening to. I appreciated the ways in which this book cautioned against using these mental shortcuts. 

As a side note: the author presents these ideas from the perspective of a hardened middle aged man, and I think other hardened middle aged men would benefit from reading this. 

That said, a stronger book on the topic that I recommend to a more general audience is You're Not Listening, which gets quoted in this one. I think that "how to know a person" can be useful for people new to the idea of emotional vulnerability. A soft 2.5 stars on SG rounded down to 2 on GR.