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ethancf's review against another edition
2.0
Part of my low rating for this is due to my own expectations: I went in expecting a horror novel featuring plants that killed people (which is 100% my fucking JAM) and what I got instead was a family dysfunction novel with a healthy dose of psychological suspense. The "horror", if it can be called that, hinges on whether or not the protagonist is insane. There's nearly no monster description, no suspense, and no atmosphere. It's about as light as a Twilight Zone episode, which is the only reason I got through it - the short length meant that I wouldn't have to hate this for quite so long.
And the book does fly by; the pacing is quick and keeps you guessing. But the writing style is a struggle to get into, especially the dialogue (even this idiot of a protagonist wouldn't only refer to his wife as "you old battle axe" out loud), and without a decent atmosphere the book just seems devoid of anything but attempts at making the reader second guess the ending (which is, with respect, actually quite good).
And while the writing is weak, where the book really falls apart is the premise. It seems outstanding at first: for 300 years, the Durkin family has weeded Lorne field of maneating plants. Now the town doesn't believe in the plants and thinks the caretaker is crazy. That premise? Solid. But as soon as the novel starts expanding on the premise and constructing the world it takes place in, it completely falls apart and asks the reader to spend a herculean amount of disbelief.
If you're looking for a 'light' horror novel, you might be into this, but actual horror readers should stay far away from Lorne Field.
And the book does fly by; the pacing is quick and keeps you guessing. But the writing style is a struggle to get into, especially the dialogue (even this idiot of a protagonist wouldn't only refer to his wife as "you old battle axe" out loud), and without a decent atmosphere the book just seems devoid of anything but attempts at making the reader second guess the ending (which is, with respect, actually quite good).
And while the writing is weak, where the book really falls apart is the premise. It seems outstanding at first: for 300 years, the Durkin family has weeded Lorne field of maneating plants. Now the town doesn't believe in the plants and thinks the caretaker is crazy. That premise? Solid. But as soon as the novel starts expanding on the premise and constructing the world it takes place in, it completely falls apart and asks the reader to spend a herculean amount of disbelief.
If you're looking for a 'light' horror novel, you might be into this, but actual horror readers should stay far away from Lorne Field.
woowottreads's review against another edition
1.0
I realize once again, I deviate from my fellow readers. I read a highly favourable review of this little book and thought it sounded utterly fascinating; and so, I grabbed it from the library when I saw it.
I'm glad I didn't buy it: It would have been a waste for me.
Essentially, you DO have a 'Twilight Zone' plot. Man weeds all day every day. Weeds are bad killer creatures. Everyone things man is insane. Bad things happen to man. Luck is against man. Man is accused of hurting son who went weeding with him. Is man crazy? Is he the world's saviour?
Man weeds. And weeds. And weeds. Most of this book is either dysfunctional family happenings, which feel dull and dated to me--or WEEDING. There is so much weeding, I felt like I'd been weeding myself. The pacing is slow, despite the book's brevity, because of all the bloody weeding. And the crux of the matter, the most interesting part, doesn't happen until the very end. There are so many pages wasted on weeding, I couldn't handle it. At all. I do not recommend. At all.
I'm glad I didn't buy it: It would have been a waste for me.
Essentially, you DO have a 'Twilight Zone' plot. Man weeds all day every day. Weeds are bad killer creatures. Everyone things man is insane. Bad things happen to man. Luck is against man. Man is accused of hurting son who went weeding with him. Is man crazy? Is he the world's saviour?
Man weeds. And weeds. And weeds. Most of this book is either dysfunctional family happenings, which feel dull and dated to me--or WEEDING. There is so much weeding, I felt like I'd been weeding myself. The pacing is slow, despite the book's brevity, because of all the bloody weeding. And the crux of the matter, the most interesting part, doesn't happen until the very end. There are so many pages wasted on weeding, I couldn't handle it. At all. I do not recommend. At all.
woodge's review against another edition
2.0
Jack Durkin is the current caretaker of Lorne Field. From age 21 until his first-born son can take over at age 21, his contracted job is to "weed" the field every day. But he's not really pulling up weeds. They may look like weeds but they're Aukowies and if left alone will grow fast and in about 8 days would grow into a 9-foot-long fanged beast that would eat everything and everyone. And there's a giant field of them. The Durkin family has been doing this for 300 years but these days there are few people who believe the weeds are anything but simple weeds.
You can see where this is heading can't you? That's part of the problem. No real surprises. Another issue is that none of the characters are all that likable. Nevertheless, I zipped through the story in just a few days. Story could've really used some surprises, though.
You can see where this is heading can't you? That's part of the problem. No real surprises. Another issue is that none of the characters are all that likable. Nevertheless, I zipped through the story in just a few days. Story could've really used some surprises, though.
meltedsquirrel's review against another edition
2.0
Once again I liked the idea this book was based on but I didn't like the execution of it. I immediately hated everyone in it and that feeling did not go away. I don't know if I was meant to hate everyone, including the Caretaker so much but I found the characters made it hard for me to want to read the book. Also in the edition I read there were A LOT of typos/misplaced words.
And here is where I get ranty about plot points First off, this book takes place in the 1990s I believe so why the hell was the Caretaker's wife so adamant that the household income was solely the man's responsibility? Why couldn't she go out and get a job instead of ruining Jack's life (and basically causing the end of the human race).
Also when Bert is killed by a car and no one thinks to look at Lorne Field to inform his father of the fact that his son is dead?!? And then the sheriff is all surprised to find Jack living at Lorne Field seemed either super idiotic or super cruel. I couldn't tell which one. OF COURSE he was living at Lorne Field. Jack was raised to believe that his job was saving the world by weeding this field. He's going to keep doing it even after you made him homeless and his family left. Even if he was just a crazy person with a delusion. That's the FIRST place they should have looked for him when his son died. Why wouldn't you think he was there?!? Either the Sheriff was dumb enough to not think that or he was adding to the cruelty of ruining this potentially mentally ill homeless man's life by just deciding to not tell him about the death of his son. You know AFTER taking away him home and income and stealing the only money he had left while evicting him. And after HIS ONLY FRIEND (and lawyer) had just suddenly died.
And here is where I get ranty about plot points
Also when Bert is killed by a car and no one thinks to look at Lorne Field to inform his father of the fact that his son is dead?!? And then the sheriff is all surprised to find Jack living at Lorne Field seemed either super idiotic or super cruel. I couldn't tell which one. OF COURSE he was living at Lorne Field. Jack was raised to believe that his job was saving the world by weeding this field. He's going to keep doing it even after you made him homeless and his family left. Even if he was just a crazy person with a delusion. That's the FIRST place they should have looked for him when his son died. Why wouldn't you think he was there?!? Either the Sheriff was dumb enough to not think that or he was adding to the cruelty of ruining this potentially mentally ill homeless man's life by just deciding to not tell him about the death of his son. You know AFTER taking away him home and income and stealing the only money he had left while evicting him. And after HIS ONLY FRIEND (and lawyer) had just suddenly died.
mfred's review against another edition
3.0
Dave Zeltserman’s The Caretaker of Lorne Field is not really a horror story. I mean, I’m reading and reading and thinking to myself, when does the scary stuff happen? It’s not even particularly thrilling or suspenseful. It is, however, interesting and darkly humorous.
Jack Durkin is the nth generation of Durkins to weed Lorne Field of Aukowies. According to Durkin, the contract signed with the Durkin family 300 years ago, and the Book of Aukowies that only the Durkins have read, Aukowies are the monsters that will end the world— should a Durkin ever stop weeding that field of them.
And so we spend the book in Jack Durkin’s small, and yet incredibly important worldview— as he struggles to convince his wife, his children, the sheriff, and even the town, that he really is saving the world. Every day. From monstrous creatures. As readers, even we can’t be sure these Aukowies aren’t just the product of some gardner’s psychosis.
And so the book is quite compelling; I certainly turned the pages trying to figure it all out. But it is never, really, scary. You know how some horror movies ruin it by showing the monster too soon? This time around, the monster simply wasn’t there.
3 of 5 stars. An interesting psychological story about fighting monsters is not actually a horror story
Jack Durkin is the nth generation of Durkins to weed Lorne Field of Aukowies. According to Durkin, the contract signed with the Durkin family 300 years ago, and the Book of Aukowies that only the Durkins have read, Aukowies are the monsters that will end the world— should a Durkin ever stop weeding that field of them.
And so we spend the book in Jack Durkin’s small, and yet incredibly important worldview— as he struggles to convince his wife, his children, the sheriff, and even the town, that he really is saving the world. Every day. From monstrous creatures. As readers, even we can’t be sure these Aukowies aren’t just the product of some gardner’s psychosis.
And so the book is quite compelling; I certainly turned the pages trying to figure it all out. But it is never, really, scary. You know how some horror movies ruin it by showing the monster too soon? This time around, the monster simply wasn’t there.
3 of 5 stars. An interesting psychological story about fighting monsters is not actually a horror story
elliotvanz's review against another edition
3.0
What an odd novella. This book reads a lot like a Beckett play mixed with a retelling of Job. The main tension of this story revolves around whether or not Jack Durkin is insane, or if he really is pulling up monsters out of a field every day. Most of the scenes take place in his kitchen where he argues with his wife, and out at Lorne Field where he breaks his back working all day. If you're looking for a monster book with a lot of action this is not the book for you. If you want a slow story where you just watch things decay and fall to pieces you might wan to give this one a try. It's far more of a study in psychology and society than a monster story. While I'm not sure I enjoyed the journey I am glad I read this one - it will stick with me.
Book #31 of 2013
Book #31 of 2013
etchlings's review against another edition
2.0
Overall, this feels like a story from Weird Tales. From 1938. Aside from a few instances of modern background setting/props, the atmosphere of this small town horror tale, the interactions of its characters, and the contest of "the horrible unknown universe vs. humans/civilization" that lurks behind each page all feel like something dated.
It may be an homage to older horror tales, which I can get behind, but the tired tropes that are the first thing you read on page one... they bored me terribly. I think every time a woman & man interact man in this book, it's either "shrewish" or matronly. And there aren't even that many characters.
That said, the author does a fairly good job of keeping the reader guessing until the end if the protagonist is insane or not. But because it comes at the very end, the reveal feels rushed and sudden. Rather like an episode of some horror TV show, as many have mentioned.
It may be an homage to older horror tales, which I can get behind, but the tired tropes that are the first thing you read on page one... they bored me terribly. I think every time a woman & man interact man in this book, it's either "shrewish" or matronly. And there aren't even that many characters.
That said, the author does a fairly good job of keeping the reader guessing until the end if the protagonist is insane or not. But because it comes at the very end, the reveal feels rushed and sudden. Rather like an episode of some horror TV show, as many have mentioned.
mikedeab63's review
4.0
This is a book I really enjoyed and really struggle to describe to people. Is it a satire? A black comedy? Noir? Horror? All of the above. Zeltserman balances everything on the head of a pin and keeps you guessing right till the last page where he'll land. Recommended for folks who like off beat fiction.
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