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m_h_dahl's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
4,75 stars 💫
Reading this book felt like being immersed in a clammy, vividly feverish dream or a surreal hallucination. It's an oddly story that may be misunderstood by some readers due to its strangeness, but it was precisely this peculiarity and its exploration of unconventional themes that captivated me.
It’s a book about love. However, this isn’t love as we typically envision it—it’s a love that both consumes and reveals.
The protagonist, a young Korean American woman, becomes entirely consumed by a K-pop idol, Moon, and this obsession becomes a conduit through which she explores her desires and the emptiness she feels. In my opinion, this is not merely a superficial obsession but a profound engagement with her innermost voids and longings.
It is also about identity. As the protagonist becomes increasingly obsessed with Moon, she navigates her own sense of self. Her fixation on the K-pop idol leads her to lose herself, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy. The novel examines how modern culture and fandom can shape and sometimes erase our understanding of who we are. It offers a profound reflection on how we construct and deconstruct our identities in the face of cultural phenomena.
The protagonist's intensified fascination with Moon provides her with a sense of purpose while simultaneously revealing the deep, unexplored voids in her life. Moon acts as a "knife," exposing wounds and voids in the characters’ lives, which opens up possibilities for both fulfillment and disappointment. Through this obsession, the novel highlights the fine line between love and obsession and how our deepest desires can lead us to both self-discovery and self-destruction.
This is a very dark book, to be honest. To me, this story is a profound exploration of depression. The protagonist’s obsession with Moon becomes a lens through which her deep-seated despair is magnified. This isn’t just a simple fan crush; it’s a desperate attempt to find meaning and connection in a world that feels overwhelmingly bleak. Yi’s depiction of depression is raw and unflinching, capturing the protagonist's oscillation between moments of intense disgust and fleeting empathy, revealing the roller coaster of emotions that many who suffer from depression experience. The protagonist frequently contemplates suicide, and the narrative doesn’t shy away from discussing the dark allure of death as an escape from overwhelming pain.
Abusive relationships are another key theme, explored through the protagonist's parasocial relationship with Moon. This obsession, while one-sided, mirrors many dynamics found in abusive relationships—control, manipulation, and emotional turmoil.
The obsession with Moon could be seen as ironic, I think, given the fast-paced, colorful, and fleeting nature of pop culture. This irony highlights a deeper meditation on contemporary forms of worship and devotion, suggesting that even the most seemingly superficial obsessions can reveal significant aspects of our inner lives and societal values.
The novel also tackles body image issues and disordered eating, particularly within the harsh reality of the idol industry. Moon and other idols are under constant pressure to maintain an almost unattainable standard of physical perfection, leading to dangerous behaviors and mental health crises. Yi uses these elements to critique the broader societal obsession with appearance and the extreme lengths people will go to in order to fit a certain mold.
The surreal and trippy narrative style gives the novel's unique charm and depth. These elements blur the lines between reality and fantasy, reflecting the protagonist's disorienting journey through her emotions and obsessions.
Its vivid portrayal of intense and often uncomfortable themes makes it a challenging read, but also an incredibly rewarding one. Esther Yi has crafted a story that dares to go where few others do, shedding light on the darkest corners of the human experience with empathy and insight. ‘Y/N’ is undoubtedly a strange and fascinating book, and it is precisely its exploration of such unconventional themes that makes it so compelling.
Reading this book felt like being immersed in a clammy, vividly feverish dream or a surreal hallucination. It's an oddly story that may be misunderstood by some readers due to its strangeness, but it was precisely this peculiarity and its exploration of unconventional themes that captivated me.
It’s a book about love. However, this isn’t love as we typically envision it—it’s a love that both consumes and reveals.
The protagonist, a young Korean American woman, becomes entirely consumed by a K-pop idol, Moon, and this obsession becomes a conduit through which she explores her desires and the emptiness she feels. In my opinion, this is not merely a superficial obsession but a profound engagement with her innermost voids and longings.
It is also about identity. As the protagonist becomes increasingly obsessed with Moon, she navigates her own sense of self. Her fixation on the K-pop idol leads her to lose herself, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy. The novel examines how modern culture and fandom can shape and sometimes erase our understanding of who we are. It offers a profound reflection on how we construct and deconstruct our identities in the face of cultural phenomena.
The protagonist's intensified fascination with Moon provides her with a sense of purpose while simultaneously revealing the deep, unexplored voids in her life. Moon acts as a "knife," exposing wounds and voids in the characters’ lives, which opens up possibilities for both fulfillment and disappointment. Through this obsession, the novel highlights the fine line between love and obsession and how our deepest desires can lead us to both self-discovery and self-destruction.
This is a very dark book, to be honest. To me, this story is a profound exploration of depression. The protagonist’s obsession with Moon becomes a lens through which her deep-seated despair is magnified. This isn’t just a simple fan crush; it’s a desperate attempt to find meaning and connection in a world that feels overwhelmingly bleak. Yi’s depiction of depression is raw and unflinching, capturing the protagonist's oscillation between moments of intense disgust and fleeting empathy, revealing the roller coaster of emotions that many who suffer from depression experience. The protagonist frequently contemplates suicide, and the narrative doesn’t shy away from discussing the dark allure of death as an escape from overwhelming pain.
Abusive relationships are another key theme, explored through the protagonist's parasocial relationship with Moon. This obsession, while one-sided, mirrors many dynamics found in abusive relationships—control, manipulation, and emotional turmoil.
The obsession with Moon could be seen as ironic, I think, given the fast-paced, colorful, and fleeting nature of pop culture. This irony highlights a deeper meditation on contemporary forms of worship and devotion, suggesting that even the most seemingly superficial obsessions can reveal significant aspects of our inner lives and societal values.
The novel also tackles body image issues and disordered eating, particularly within the harsh reality of the idol industry. Moon and other idols are under constant pressure to maintain an almost unattainable standard of physical perfection, leading to dangerous behaviors and mental health crises. Yi uses these elements to critique the broader societal obsession with appearance and the extreme lengths people will go to in order to fit a certain mold.
The surreal and trippy narrative style gives the novel's unique charm and depth. These elements blur the lines between reality and fantasy, reflecting the protagonist's disorienting journey through her emotions and obsessions.
Its vivid portrayal of intense and often uncomfortable themes makes it a challenging read, but also an incredibly rewarding one. Esther Yi has crafted a story that dares to go where few others do, shedding light on the darkest corners of the human experience with empathy and insight. ‘Y/N’ is undoubtedly a strange and fascinating book, and it is precisely its exploration of such unconventional themes that makes it so compelling.
caseyaonso's review against another edition
2.0
2.5
well as expected this was definitely a bit bizarre lol. i think i like the idea of this book and the topics it tried to grapple with more than the execution of it though. despite a few high points overall it kind of felt unrealized to me tbh.
"being practiced at love is exactly what ruins it" was a banger line though
well as expected this was definitely a bit bizarre lol. i think i like the idea of this book and the topics it tried to grapple with more than the execution of it though. despite a few high points overall it kind of felt unrealized to me tbh.
"being practiced at love is exactly what ruins it" was a banger line though
frodolives's review against another edition
dark
funny
reflective
4.0
Y/N is a very surreal book and at first I wasn't sure what to make of it, but by the end I think it's kind of genius? It's essentially a pilgrimage narrative except it follows a modern fangirl on her quest for spiritual fulfillment, which she projects onto a parasocial relationship with her kpop idol Moon. It sounds like another terrible contemporary novel, but Esther Yi is smart and unique enough to actually have interesting things to say about modernity, loneliness, religion, consumerism, obsession/fanaticism, escapism, delusion, sexuality, etc. The most striking element of this book is certainly the prose which is almost aggressively weird, but once I got used to it I appreciated the creativity. I like reading books like this where I know I could never have come up with any of it if I tried, so I have to respect it even if I didn't fully understand all of it. I'm sure some of it was pretentious nonsense, but there was enough that wasn't nonsense that makes it worthwhile. Actually, I think the blend of nonsense/genuinely profound elements kind of works for the satirical but yet deeply earnest edge this book has. It comes together nicely for a messy but compelling whole.
I don't know much about kpop so some of the allusions were probably lost on me (like apparently Moon is based on Jimin from BTS). But I think this book keeps the characters vague and metaphorical enough that Moon could be any celebrity you know a little too well. As a teenager I was a massive Beatles fan (yes I'm Gen Z), and the narrator of this book reminded me a LOT of a certain Paul McCartney fan whose Tumblr I used to follow. At first, I followed them as a fellow McCartney fan, but it soon became clear that they were a much bigger fan than I could ever be, but I continued to follow them out of a kind of psychological fascination. Their fanfic and fanart were so bizarre, and their prolificness and dedication were so impressive, I truly got invested in their journey to find and fuck 80 year old billionaire Paul McCartney. Their blog was so extremely similar to this book it was all I could think of while reading (the only difference really is that the blogger in question seemed a lot more resentful of McCartney than this narrator ever gets for Moon). All this is to say: I can attest this book isn't that much of an exaggeration from how some people actually are. As surreal as it is, it holds a lot of truths and actually works as a very compelling psychological study if you want to read it that way. But in this way, reading Y/N feels much more like a voyeuristic endeavour than something you can personally relate and connect to (at least for me). But the main character says they don't want to be related to, so I suppose that's the point. There's a lot of ideas going on in only 200 pages, so I think I will eventually have to reread this one more carefully to appreciate it fully, but overall I did enjoy it!
I don't know much about kpop so some of the allusions were probably lost on me (like apparently Moon is based on Jimin from BTS). But I think this book keeps the characters vague and metaphorical enough that Moon could be any celebrity you know a little too well. As a teenager I was a massive Beatles fan (yes I'm Gen Z), and the narrator of this book reminded me a LOT of a certain Paul McCartney fan whose Tumblr I used to follow. At first, I followed them as a fellow McCartney fan, but it soon became clear that they were a much bigger fan than I could ever be, but I continued to follow them out of a kind of psychological fascination. Their fanfic and fanart were so bizarre, and their prolificness and dedication were so impressive, I truly got invested in their journey to find and fuck 80 year old billionaire Paul McCartney. Their blog was so extremely similar to this book it was all I could think of while reading (the only difference really is that the blogger in question seemed a lot more resentful of McCartney than this narrator ever gets for Moon). All this is to say: I can attest this book isn't that much of an exaggeration from how some people actually are. As surreal as it is, it holds a lot of truths and actually works as a very compelling psychological study if you want to read it that way. But in this way, reading Y/N feels much more like a voyeuristic endeavour than something you can personally relate and connect to (at least for me). But the main character says they don't want to be related to, so I suppose that's the point. There's a lot of ideas going on in only 200 pages, so I think I will eventually have to reread this one more carefully to appreciate it fully, but overall I did enjoy it!
osstockton's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
elys_exe's review against another edition
dark
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
When nearly all the reviews of a book tell you it reads like a fever dream, you should believe it!
Y/N is an attempt at shining light on fandom culture, parasocialism and obsession with a focus on K-pop specifically, but does so in such a poor and incoherent way that the reader is left wondering just what exactly is it that they’ve read.
The writing is oftentimes clunky at best, uncoordinated at worst, filled with various frill words that instead of enriching the writing serve as a weight on whatever thought is getting portrayed.
The story itself feels like a ball of delirium that just keeps on rolling, whilst there are some good ideas and prompts within, the short chapter content stops them from ever getting developed and instead feel like brief stops before getting propelled deeper into oddness, the exaggeration of different tropes and behaviour is so parodic and unserious within itself that it’s tragicomic to witness.
With just a short count of twelve chapters, there’s so much getting grabbed at and mentioned, that ultimately none of it delves past surface level. The groundwork is all there, but it feels the construction has long stopped.
magis1105's review against another edition
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
sullyvan's review against another edition
dark
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
keithtaylor76's review against another edition
I got a little too creeped out and lost in the narrator’s Bell Jar-esque escapades.
I hope to return to this one because I loved the tension that was building, but I think it was just too much for me at the time
I hope to return to this one because I loved the tension that was building, but I think it was just too much for me at the time