Reviews with content warning for Physical abuse - How to Say Babylon

After more than nineteen years, my father still could not see me. To him, nothing I wrote would ever matter. Poetry was the voice I had forged because for so long I had been voiceless; I had written every word because I wanted him to hear me. Now I knew he never would.

I find it tricky to cast judgement on a memoir. How can I sit here and judge what happens when it's not just plot but someone's actual life and experience, it feels voyeuristic. At the same time the author is handing me their life on a platter, is asking me to come and see and experience. In How to Say Babylon Safiya Sinclair presents us the story of her life growing up in Jamaica under the control of a domineering abusive father who used Rastafarianism to control and terrorize the family. We're taken on this journey to her childhood, her struggles and how she persevered and became an award winning poet. She also explains what Rastafarianism is, how it got started, what are the practices and beliefs, and how that affected her.

I could not put this down, I read it in four days. The prose is beautiful and fluid, you could probably infer her background as a poet. If you don't enjoy purple prose, this might not be a good fit for you, for me it worked because I felt like I was right there in her head with her as the events happened. And boy did things happen to her, this is a book that deals with such complex and heart wrenching abuse. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, at times it felt so heavy and anxiety inducing. I was at a roller coaster right before the drop, or a balloon inflating with no sign of stopping and then... Well the drop didn't happen, the balloon never popped.

That was my only real issue with the book. The pacing brught us to this dazzling height only to gently let us down. To me it felt like perhaps she could have waited to write this memoir, there were a lot of painful memories she had to face and put to paper and the more recent ones just didn't come across as robust as the past. By this I mean I felt like she's too close to the point in time where her book ends to have been able to pull it apart and analyze it, process it. There's a lot of silence at the end, like the story was cherry-picked in some spots.

I'm obviously talking about her father. In a horribly distressing scene she depicts a night where he almost killed her, a night that traumatized her youngest sister and put her at odds with her older brother. And yet the book skips any meaningful conversation about this event, jumps right into her life in the USA and then into a reconciliation with her abuser. She spent the whole book painting this boogeyman, this dangerous figure that mistreated her and then did nothing to show the painful path towards forgiveness and personal growth. I don't want to speculate, but I do wonder if she has actually processed everything that happened, if she's been to therapy. It felt like she bent the knee after a full book of standing up for her younger self.

As I said at the beginning, it's hard to judge people's personal choices from my outside point of view but after being so in her head and life the ending felt empty of the same fire.

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alexhaydon's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad

5.0

A memoir that demonstrates how a poet's words are their lifeline. The anchor amidst turbulence that is awaiting its moment of tranquility. Sinclair's writing and character are forces to be reckoned with and her story is so simultaneously sharp and tender. Whilst there isn't so much a sense of urgency in her need to tell this story, it is clear that it is a necessary work, an emergence of a voice that has been trying to articulate the moments that have led up to this place of hope.

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cnlarge's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful sad tense slow-paced

4.5

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lngoldstein's review against another edition

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dark emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

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kenopedidntthinkso's review against another edition

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challenging dark informative reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

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chareadsss's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

I honestly haven't read anything like this that's written in such a poetic and elegant way. Sinclair's poetry influence shone through in this, and my dictionary app stayed open because she was educating me with new words left, right and centre 😁 A lot of the time, it didn't feel like I was reading non-fiction, and Sinclair's storytelling and poetic flare really made for a captivating read.

The reader gets an insight into Rastafari, and what it can be like for women of Rastafari, which was not something I was very well versed in. This memoir was an eye opener for me and, whilst a lot could be said for Sinclair's father and his extreme views, I have a lot of respect for how she dealt with things and am glad she got to speak her truth.

I loved seeing (or reading, I guess) Sinclair take more control and agency, become more empowered, and embrace becoming a woman unapologetically. The same for her mother as it was also heart warming to see her grow into a different version of herself that she was never allowed to be.

I normally don't care for books being split into parts as it often seems quite pointless and doesn't always serve much of a purpose. However, I think it worked well here and each part felt like it had a clear purpose in highlighting the different stages in Sinclair's life/journey as well as the shifts in the relationship with her father.

I did struggle with the length at times but that could've also been down to the fact that life was life-ing (as it does 😅) around the same time. Everytime I picked this back up though, I became so engrossed and invested in Sinclair's story, and wanted to learn/read more. Such a great and powerful read that had me feeling A LOT. I could say so much more but if you haven't read it already, BUY IT. READ IT. That is all.

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corinth113's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

Heartbreaking, poignant, and lovely. Raw, painful, bleak, abundant, a song, and a prayer. Beautiful prose, poetic and lyrical beats, this woman’s family’s story pushes and pulls at something deep inside of anyone who has ever had to deal with unsettling family dynamics and the way we wrestle forever with forgiveness and reconciliation—not just with others, but with who we become because of our parents and who we want to be despite them.

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