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4.39 AVERAGE
4.39 AVERAGE
A heartbreaking and incredibly moving story about a father writing to his son at the end of his life, trying to atone for his mistakes. This book was slow to start for me and I wasn't sure if I was going to like it but once we got to Jacob's life with his wife and the struggles of their marriage, I was hooked!
Spanning decades, this story starts in 1950s rural Arkansas, where the legacy of slavery is still very much present. Jacob grows up living with his grandfather, who doesn't set the best example of manhood. My heart ached for Rachel, who marries Jacob when she gets pregnant and has to give up her dreams of going to college. These characters were so realistically flawed and their lives so well written!
Overall what I loved the most I think was that while Jacob made some horrible mistakes, he did try to change and took it upon himself to try to make it up to his son. Highly recommended and good on audio. Much thanks to Libro.fm for my ALC!
CW: domestic abuse, alcoholism, abortion, homophobia, death from cancer
Spanning decades, this story starts in 1950s rural Arkansas, where the legacy of slavery is still very much present. Jacob grows up living with his grandfather, who doesn't set the best example of manhood. My heart ached for Rachel, who marries Jacob when she gets pregnant and has to give up her dreams of going to college. These characters were so realistically flawed and their lives so well written!
Overall what I loved the most I think was that while Jacob made some horrible mistakes, he did try to change and took it upon himself to try to make it up to his son. Highly recommended and good on audio. Much thanks to Libro.fm for my ALC!
CW: domestic abuse, alcoholism, abortion, homophobia, death from cancer
3.5 stars. This is a painful letter written from an African American father to his gay son. He is attempting to apologize for the wrongs he has done to him and explains the terrible things that happened to him as a child that made him be how he was. A lot of cultural beliefs play a role in how and what people do. I think this is a brave attempt to explain some of this, but I was left wanting a bit more. Maybe the letter format is why? Maybe I want a reconciliation when there just shouldn’t be?
RTC. I’m still processing and plan to write my review after my book club discussion.
I definitely am more understanding of previous generations' views now. It was fueled by fear this whole time.
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
A must read. So much to learn about black men, gender, sexuality, oppression. It broke my heart wide open.
Deep book but beautifully written. A love letter about parents’ mistakes and growth that may not always be seen. Don’t let pride stop you from love and happiness.
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
“The point of history is to tell you how to live in the future. So people don’t make the same mistakes over and over.”
An emotionally impactful book that I will be thinking about for quite some time! You don’t often get the perspective of the homophobic father, but the author manages to weave the background and development so that you understand the character and can appreciate the imperfection of fatherhood. Many parts were painful to read, and yet it was so beautiful to see the transcendent love a parent can have for their child.
An emotionally impactful book that I will be thinking about for quite some time! You don’t often get the perspective of the homophobic father, but the author manages to weave the background and development so that you understand the character and can appreciate the imperfection of fatherhood. Many parts were painful to read, and yet it was so beautiful to see the transcendent love a parent can have for their child.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault
I would give this book 6 stars if Goodreads would let me.
“I turned to face him, prepared to hear his story…”
This book broke my heart. And despite the title’s admonition, I most definitely cried. This book felt like a kindred spirit to Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Quite a lot of this book hit too close to home. Not all of it, but enough that it makes it hard to review.
There is a deep river of pain that runs beneath us all. Pain, fear, hurt, violence, shame, cruelty, despair. It’s too big to reckon with all at once. But there are stories, like this one, that submerge their hand into that river to try and grab hold of the swift, sorrowful current.
It sounds trite, but all any of us really want is love and acceptance and kindness. Yet we are somehow frequently incapable of remembering that means everyone else wants the same things. Even though we know how much it would mean to them because of how much it means to us. Perhaps the heaviest part is that these things are the easiest thing in the world to give. But they are also the hardest.
“Just remember that, although we were flawed, we were marvelous, too.”
“I turned to face him, prepared to hear his story…”
This book broke my heart. And despite the title’s admonition, I most definitely cried. This book felt like a kindred spirit to Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Quite a lot of this book hit too close to home. Not all of it, but enough that it makes it hard to review.
There is a deep river of pain that runs beneath us all. Pain, fear, hurt, violence, shame, cruelty, despair. It’s too big to reckon with all at once. But there are stories, like this one, that submerge their hand into that river to try and grab hold of the swift, sorrowful current.
It sounds trite, but all any of us really want is love and acceptance and kindness. Yet we are somehow frequently incapable of remembering that means everyone else wants the same things. Even though we know how much it would mean to them because of how much it means to us. Perhaps the heaviest part is that these things are the easiest thing in the world to give. But they are also the hardest.
“Just remember that, although we were flawed, we were marvelous, too.”
emotional
informative
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Good story and very insightful as to the lived experiences of black men, what it means to be a “man”, and how we give and receive love differently at different points in life. The entire story was framed as a letter to his son, so I would’ve loved to see a chapter or two at the end about how the letter was received given their tumultuous history.