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4.39 AVERAGE
4.39 AVERAGE
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
First book I’ve read that was written in letters. There were a couple of scenes that stuck out more than others. The conversation when Rachel realizes what Issac’s sexual orientation is and demands Jacob to do something to fix it may be a fair depiction how parents react to a child coming out. The other scene that sticks out is Jacob’s encounter with the woman at the Alice Walker event.
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
A dying father who has an estranged relationship with his gay son, wants to find peace before he passes. The story is told through letters the father writes to his son where he talks a bit his own upbringing, where his beliefs stemmed from, and an explanation for his behavior throughout the years.
The story is beautifully written. I found it difficult to empathize with the father though. Although he may have had a difficult upbringing, his rigid views of gender and masculinity ultimately made his son withdraw from him. I guess it’s hard to empathize with someone who causes someone else harm for being themself.
The story is beautifully written. I found it difficult to empathize with the father though. Although he may have had a difficult upbringing, his rigid views of gender and masculinity ultimately made his son withdraw from him. I guess it’s hard to empathize with someone who causes someone else harm for being themself.
Outstanding book! A wonderful story of a dying man's unconditional love for his son, despite his many failures as a father. I thought the supernatural element of Isaac being able to communicate with the dead was unnecessary and took away from the book a little bit, but not enough to prevent it from being a highly enjoyable read.
This has been a truly, remarkable read for me. It felt like an embrace & a conversation that should have been and was being held between me and my late Dad.
Daniel Black’s pen is truly a work of art, a healing tool that is capable of understanding the many generations that this story had. I felt an array of emotions including - anger at Jacob for still not doing the right thing even when he knew better and compassion for him as he was only mirroring what he has seen. Jacob could not give what he had never received and yet when he had an idea of what he should do he couldn’t see it through. Was the gap too wide or was he not brave enough?
I don’t have a lot of words to express how I felt about this book. Not because I cannot articulate myself well. But rather because of how deeply layered and complex the paternal relationships in the black community can be. And how this book captured it so perfectly that not much can be said that Black has not said already. But I can only encourage others to read it.
The importance of reading and the wonder of books comes through fiercely too. How Rachel discovers feminism through a book and how so much of Jacob’s journey was furthered by books. It’s truly a marvel.
In the author’s note, Black outlines the aim of this book as follows: “So this book, this record of a poor black father’s appeal, is what any dying daddy might say to his son. More than anything, I want readers to reconsider the capacity of our fathers’ hearts. Many of them were handed so little, yet we expected so much. They gave more than they had, but less than we needed. They were burdened with a notion of manhood that destroyed so many sons’ lives; but they didn’t know another notion to teach. In the end, many destroyed themselves, too.”
The aim of this book was met and it exceeded any other expectations held. I will dutifully recommend it to everyone I hold dearly because everyone needs to read this. Especially the black daughters.
A captivating read!
Daniel Black’s pen is truly a work of art, a healing tool that is capable of understanding the many generations that this story had. I felt an array of emotions including - anger at Jacob for still not doing the right thing even when he knew better and compassion for him as he was only mirroring what he has seen. Jacob could not give what he had never received and yet when he had an idea of what he should do he couldn’t see it through. Was the gap too wide or was he not brave enough?
I don’t have a lot of words to express how I felt about this book. Not because I cannot articulate myself well. But rather because of how deeply layered and complex the paternal relationships in the black community can be. And how this book captured it so perfectly that not much can be said that Black has not said already. But I can only encourage others to read it.
The importance of reading and the wonder of books comes through fiercely too. How Rachel discovers feminism through a book and how so much of Jacob’s journey was furthered by books. It’s truly a marvel.
In the author’s note, Black outlines the aim of this book as follows: “So this book, this record of a poor black father’s appeal, is what any dying daddy might say to his son. More than anything, I want readers to reconsider the capacity of our fathers’ hearts. Many of them were handed so little, yet we expected so much. They gave more than they had, but less than we needed. They were burdened with a notion of manhood that destroyed so many sons’ lives; but they didn’t know another notion to teach. In the end, many destroyed themselves, too.”
The aim of this book was met and it exceeded any other expectations held. I will dutifully recommend it to everyone I hold dearly because everyone needs to read this. Especially the black daughters.
A captivating read!
adventurous
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Overall rating: 4.75
"Everything I'd loved I'd destroyed. You don't know-- I hope you don't know-- the feeling of losing everyone you ever loved. You're left with only your own hurt and regret. All you can do is relive mistakes and wish you could undo them. You never can."
"Everything I'd loved I'd destroyed. You don't know-- I hope you don't know-- the feeling of losing everyone you ever loved. You're left with only your own hurt and regret. All you can do is relive mistakes and wish you could undo them. You never can."
Don't Cry For Me is a tender exploration into the heart of Jacob, a father dying of cancer writing to his gay son that he hasn't spoken to in years. The characters are complex and the situations real, with a sympathetic touch to everything that may come from the nature of the work being Black's wish that his father did something similar for him.
Entertainment
Rating: 4/5
I found the book to be super entertaining. I found I was able to read through it pretty quickly and couldn't put it down. The only reason this isn't getting a perfect score is that I do feel like in the penultimate chapters there was a heavy loss of momentum, but I don't think that it detracted from the experience heavily overall.
I found the book to be super entertaining. I found I was able to read through it pretty quickly and couldn't put it down. The only reason this isn't getting a perfect score is that I do feel like in the penultimate chapters there was a heavy loss of momentum, but I don't think that it detracted from the experience heavily overall.
Characters
Rating: 5/5
What I really appreciated about the characters was that they all felt extremely complex. No character felt one-sided (well maybe for the exception of Mr. John, but he was there for like, a chapter and a half) and everyone was deeply flawed, but still managed to be sympathetic. Jacob was not a good father and was both physically and verbally abusive, but we understand why he was like that. Rachel was sympathetic and kind, and especially loving of Isaac, but she was an alcoholic and was unnecessarily cruel to Isaac when he came out. The audience doesn't really learn a lot about Isaac, but that makes a lot of sense-- our narrator, Jacob, doesn't know a lot about him!
What I really appreciated about the characters was that they all felt extremely complex. No character felt one-sided (well maybe for the exception of Mr. John, but he was there for like, a chapter and a half) and everyone was deeply flawed, but still managed to be sympathetic. Jacob was not a good father and was both physically and verbally abusive, but we understand why he was like that. Rachel was sympathetic and kind, and especially loving of Isaac, but she was an alcoholic and was unnecessarily cruel to Isaac when he came out. The audience doesn't really learn a lot about Isaac, but that makes a lot of sense-- our narrator, Jacob, doesn't know a lot about him!
Plot
Rating: 4.5/5
The plot, for me, flowed extremely well. It nicely combined a more stream-of-consciousness style with linear progression, which makes the story much easier to follow and helps it avoid the pitfalls commonly associated with SoC. The stories start with before Jacob, Jacob's life, and then Isaac's life. Occasionally we do have jumps outside of the progression (see the cemetery scene orwhen Jacob returns to Blackwell towards the end of the book ), but these are done in dialogues and thus don't really break the progression-- although I do think the latter example breaks the progression a tiny bit, just due to how long it is. I'm also not quite sure how necessary they are to the book in general-- it fleshes out Jacob's life and allows him to understand new things, but doesn't really impact the storyline with Isaac in any sort of meaningful way. However, these are letters from Jacob to Isaac, so it would make sense for him to tell him basically anything that could be forgotten by his passing. I also think Jacob's progression outside of bigotry was a tiny bit idealistic-- through the all-saving power of books -- but I don't think it negatively impacted the story and is plausible enough.
The plot, for me, flowed extremely well. It nicely combined a more stream-of-consciousness style with linear progression, which makes the story much easier to follow and helps it avoid the pitfalls commonly associated with SoC. The stories start with before Jacob, Jacob's life, and then Isaac's life. Occasionally we do have jumps outside of the progression (see the cemetery scene or
Writing style
Rating: 5/5
Huge fan of Black's writing style. I loved the way the story was formatted-- using a series of letters was both creative and provided a logical explanation on why Jacob needed to tell all these stories now. I also love how the dialogue was very regional, with the orthography matching how the characters would talk. I only wish the writing was a bit more... poetic, I guess? There wasn't many lines that truly wow'd me, but the ones that did were really good.
Huge fan of Black's writing style. I loved the way the story was formatted-- using a series of letters was both creative and provided a logical explanation on why Jacob needed to tell all these stories now. I also love how the dialogue was very regional, with the orthography matching how the characters would talk. I only wish the writing was a bit more... poetic, I guess? There wasn't many lines that truly wow'd me, but the ones that did were really good.
Editing
Rating: 5/5
No grammatical errors or typos that I could see (that wasn't stylistic). Chapters finished and began naturally.
No grammatical errors or typos that I could see (that wasn't stylistic). Chapters finished and began naturally.
Wow. Wow. Wow. This book wrecked me. It is fiction, but it reads like it’s non-fiction. So much pain. So much loss. So many regrets. So many words left unsaid. It broke my heart into a million pieces and I will probably never forget this story.
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated