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4.39 AVERAGE
4.39 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Really beautifully written reflection on love and grief and life at its end.
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This novel is beautiful. Epistolary. Reminded me of Gilead, but more interesting.
Wow, truly blown away by how amazing and beautiful this book is. Definitely had me tearing up throughout. I enjoyed that this book was just from Jacob’s POV because we get to hear all of his thoughts and experiences uninterrupted. One of the lines that stuck with me throughout the book was “Many of them (fathers) were handed so little, yet we expected so much. They gave more then they had, but less then we needed” Daniel Black does such a great job at humanizing Jacob and of showing how parents try their best but they can only do from what they were taught and experienced especially during a time when black boys were made to not feel or express feelings.
Such an amazing read and I saw in one of his interviews that he’s working on Issac’s response so I can’t wait until we get that!
Such an amazing read and I saw in one of his interviews that he’s working on Issac’s response so I can’t wait until we get that!
3.5 stars
I wish this had impacted me more because I love the concept of this book. It was reminiscent of Brian Broome's Punch Me Up to the Gods memoir, where generational trauma was linked to how Black parents treat their queer children, particularly their sons. Focusing on the perspective of the offending party, rather than the child, was an interesting switch and I think added some nuance to these types of conversations. Particularly, I loved the exploration of how trauma and a survival mentality can prevent families from truly pouring into each other emotionally.
While I appreciated that this book was entirely in the father's perspective, I felt like a chapter or two from the son's POV could've really rounded out the story. It's a story told in letters, which made it a really quick read, but it felt kinda..removed? Objectively, it was heartbreaking to see how the patterns of behavior and the environment Jacob witnessed in his childhood made it hard for him to accept Isaac. Subjectively, I didn't feel the pain and the regret and the heartache. It ultimately felt like an overview or outline rather than a fleshed out story.
I wish this had impacted me more because I love the concept of this book. It was reminiscent of Brian Broome's Punch Me Up to the Gods memoir, where generational trauma was linked to how Black parents treat their queer children, particularly their sons. Focusing on the perspective of the offending party, rather than the child, was an interesting switch and I think added some nuance to these types of conversations. Particularly, I loved the exploration of how trauma and a survival mentality can prevent families from truly pouring into each other emotionally.
While I appreciated that this book was entirely in the father's perspective, I felt like a chapter or two from the son's POV could've really rounded out the story. It's a story told in letters, which made it a really quick read, but it felt kinda..removed? Objectively, it was heartbreaking to see how the patterns of behavior and the environment Jacob witnessed in his childhood made it hard for him to accept Isaac. Subjectively, I didn't feel the pain and the regret and the heartache. It ultimately felt like an overview or outline rather than a fleshed out story.
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
DON’T CRY FOR ME
"’Have you ever done something unforgivable?’
--
I never answered your question that day, but I never forgot it either. This letter is my answer.”
Don’t Cry For Me broke my heart -- how do you tell your son you love him after a lifetime of refusing to accept him as he is?
In one final letter to his son, Jacob Swinton recounts his past and faces his mistakes. His son, Isaac, never fit the mold of a “man”, no matter what Jacob tried to change him. For so long, Jacob rejected the notion that a man could love another man. But, in his lonely, estranged life, he begins to reckon with the beliefs he held to be true about the makings of a man, the forms love can take, and the pieces of life that hold true importance. Jacob recognizes that while it may be too late to heal their shattered relationship, his son will always be worthy of his love, and he deserves to know that.
“I guess I'm saying I understand the love one man can have for another, although I don't mean it the way you do, but perhaps the difference isn't as great as I've thought.”
The most impactful piece of this story for me came before the first page -- in the Author’s Note, Dr. Black acknowledges the nature of his own relationship with his father and the fact that they never had the chance for reconciliation. He says:
“I wondered what he'd say if he could stare into my heart. This book is his response, his desperate plea.”
Dr. Black, thank you for sharing this deeply intimate story. I know that I’m better for reading it.
"’Have you ever done something unforgivable?’
--
I never answered your question that day, but I never forgot it either. This letter is my answer.”
Don’t Cry For Me broke my heart -- how do you tell your son you love him after a lifetime of refusing to accept him as he is?
In one final letter to his son, Jacob Swinton recounts his past and faces his mistakes. His son, Isaac, never fit the mold of a “man”, no matter what Jacob tried to change him. For so long, Jacob rejected the notion that a man could love another man. But, in his lonely, estranged life, he begins to reckon with the beliefs he held to be true about the makings of a man, the forms love can take, and the pieces of life that hold true importance. Jacob recognizes that while it may be too late to heal their shattered relationship, his son will always be worthy of his love, and he deserves to know that.
“I guess I'm saying I understand the love one man can have for another, although I don't mean it the way you do, but perhaps the difference isn't as great as I've thought.”
The most impactful piece of this story for me came before the first page -- in the Author’s Note, Dr. Black acknowledges the nature of his own relationship with his father and the fact that they never had the chance for reconciliation. He says:
“I wondered what he'd say if he could stare into my heart. This book is his response, his desperate plea.”
Dr. Black, thank you for sharing this deeply intimate story. I know that I’m better for reading it.
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes