Reviews with content warning for Child abuse - You Exist Too Much

I flew through this book in a weekend. Super easy to read! I closed the last page thinking this was a story with a lot of pain — one that’s very sad because

the main character’s mother ultimately does not accept her daughter as she is, queer. The mother is terribly emotionally abusive towards her daughter throughout her life.

Perhaps this is realistic, but that aspect of the story does not improve. It offers an insight into survival as a young adult after emotional abuse and neglect from parents and intergenerational trauma: something others will probably relate to.

These are the voices and lives I want more of: queer, Palestinian-American, young, global citizens, educated. There is such an under—representation of these kinds of stories in so—called Australia. I felt privileged to get insights into the lives of people that are pretty different from my own.

Plus it’s just a cool book. Despite heavy content in places, the book manages to be incredibly light—hearted, fun, sexy and sharp, with wry political observations about racism, whites privilege etc.

As Professor Roxane Gay says, the book is sexy and compelling. Thank you to the author for this book. I’d definitely read another by this author.

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emma_ekb's review

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challenging hopeful reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

complicated female characters, mommy issues, recommended to fans of “my year of rest and relaxation”

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taratearex's review against another edition

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challenging reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

A character driven novel of a woman going through a 28 day program for love addiction. I enjoyed the vignette flashbacks to other times in her life that added depth to the story being told in the present. The main character is not very likeable, but I found myself rooting for her anyway. I think the theme of generational trauma and trauma through occupation and war is done really well, the moments with her mom and when she is talking about Palestine are heartbreaking and painful. This story is mostly told through the main characters relationships, which makes sense given her issue with love, but it did feel like there was a lack of something- it might just be that I usually feel that way about character driven stories. Overall, really interesting and some lovely writing but I wanted more.

I listened to the audiobook for this and was a thrown by the narration, and it took me a while to get into. I think the narrator is British but doing an American accent, but many of the words were pronounced in what I assume is the British pronunciation, as it's not the American. Otherwise some words were just pronounced with the emphasis not where it would be for an American pronunciation.

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mscalls's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

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cottageivy's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

i really liked this book! it really draws you into the narrators mindset and into her as a person so easily, which while the goal for plotless character driven books, is often hard to do but this one does it perfectly! overall i liked the discussion on her mental health in relationships, and i absolutely love a bisexual protagonist, however sometimes the way the author chose to talk about bisexuality was weird? there was a moment

with matias where she asked him if it bothered him that she’d been with girls (and the discussion around guys liking it in theory but feeling insecure was very accurate! which made the next part confusing) and he said ‘no sometimes i wish i was bisexual but unfortunately i only like girls’ and the narrator says ‘that was the exact right thing to say’ but like. me as a bisexual person, it felt weird. if my straight partner said that, i’d feel weird about it. it’s not an outright biphobic/awful thing to say, but. it’s not the exact right thing to say and it was weird for a bi narrator to say this. ofc all bi people aren’t a monolith, and some might not feel weird about it, but idk.

there were some other off things said about bisexuality, but overall i felt it was good rep. i don’t know the authors sexuality, (i googled, didn’t see anything) but it felt like someone who wasn’t bi wrote about it which is fine! but still. odd feeling.
i feel bc i spent so long talking about this that it’s negative but i did really love this book! i especially loved how i didn’t even notice the narrator doesn’t have a name, bc i felt like i knew her anyway. it was so cool to get to the end and realize after looking at authors interviews that she omitted the name and i didn’t notice.

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wasliestcaro's review against another edition

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challenging emotional tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

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ooo's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

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erinalt90's review against another edition

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challenging medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

I really had high hopes for this book. It had a great start and moved fast. around 40% it started to get slow and by 60% not only was it boring but it was a completely different book. I think Arafat is a great writer but she seems more like a short story/anthology writer.
The ending is disappointing and the book overall is just - sporadic? I don't know. It doesn't work in my opinion.
I never read reviews for books before/during. But all the reviews who also gave it around 2-3.5 stars I agree with completely.
There were also tiny conflicting details/inconsistencies in the set up/characters. At one point someone is referred to as a "classmate" and three sentences later - while talking about the same character- they are referred to as "coworker." They are small little details but there are enough of them that they start to add up.
TW: potential child abuse
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There was also an entire section with another character and pregnancy/child fetish played a role and it was just- weird.

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