Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

112 reviews

windermerepeak1's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

The intersectionality between race, sexuality, and religion is done so well here and that makes it good enough of a read to recommend

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dreareads_'s review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Beautiful and poignant look at mental health and mother/daughter relationships.

Our main character is Palestinian / American (never named), which leads to constant flashbacks to her summers in Palestine and her mothers own experience growing up. During the present timeline, our MC is dealing with her addiction to love, and her relationship with her mother who refuses to accept our MCs bisexuality. We see her learn to come to terms with her traumas, and create connections with those around her beyond her usual sexual and obsessive ones. 

There is a lot of beautiful and personal introspection throughout the text, but it all gets lost with the constant time jumps. At times they all feel separate from each other, and it leaves you with a sense of vagueness, never truly getting to the root of each theme. The ending especially felt rushed, as we jump from relationship to relationship and the role of the mother (which seems to be the core relationship of the book) being put off to the side. 

I could definitely relate to the mother/daughter relationship, as it reminded me of my own. Especially in regards to being a bisexual woc whose mother dismisses, ignores, or at worse condemns their sexuality. I was also moved by the exploration of the mother as an individual outside of her role as mom to remind us that she is just human and not some evil manipulative monster. I simply wish that we had had more interactions between mother and daughter in the present and not only in the past.

I will say, the title of this book? to me was the most powerful statement made. I think in some ways, I wish the book lived up to the title. 

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l1ndz7's review against another edition

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3.0

I’ve discovered that I don’t enjoy toxic relationships or unlikable main characters too much. Especially in the same book, yikes. I loved the LGBTQIA+ rep and the generational trauma from the occupation of Palestine (briefly and somewhat messily) discussed. It does end on a happy note which made me enjoy it more because this isn’t a happy book. She’s either cheating or getting cheated on. She’s a sex/love addict which was interesting to read about but she gets caught up in these silly situations that were relatable but at the same time frustrating to watch. 

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coffeenoldbooks's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Read for Pages4Palestine readathon

I first want to say that I really enjoyed this book and wasn’t what I was expecting. This book has a flawed protagonist who discusses their journey of being a bisexual Palestinian American who suffers from addiction and anorexia. She goes through her self destructive habits and trying to better herself even after sabotaging her relationships one after the other. She discovers a lot of her root cause is a very emotionally unavailable mother whom she craved love and affection from. 

The bulk of the story is told while she is in rehab with flashbacks on where things went wrong for her and the decisions she made that she seemed to regret. She talks about her mother’s past and her childhood where she grew up in an occupied state and married young and gave up a lot of her dreams to only end up emotionally detached and regretting many things. We see how the protagonist understands this but does not pardon her mother for not being there and providing the love and affection she needed herself.

Other points of note in the book are talks of her feeling othered in many ways. Never feeling like she has a place to fit in. She is a Palestinian American and doesn’t fully feel like she fits in the American world but also not an Arabic world either. She feels like she has no place she truly belongs and it makes her longing for love an affection much deeper; craving some sense of belonging. 

The one thing I do truly wish there was more talk about is the last relationship she has with Anouk. I’d love to know more of how they were able to come to trust eachother and find the love she was craving. 

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and recommend it. I’d say to check some trigger warnings beforehand.

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hellichipmunk's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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saraellenme's review against another edition

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medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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nikia4's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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randiesrno's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

For most of the book, I wondered what was going on. It got really interesting towards the end and the relationship between the main character and her mother truly stuck out to me the most and resonated a lot with me. I thought it was good (but lowkey wanted it to be more sapphic but maybe that’s just me). 

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hstcrow's review against another edition

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emotional tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

I understand the main character’s central story is about her complicated relationships and many of them, but I felt we were really jumping around a lot between her love interests, especially towards the end, and it felt unrealistic and unnecessarily confusing. The best parts were her learning about her past trauma, her relationships with her family members and cultural history, but those were focussed on the least. Felt a bit unfinished in a few ways. Her dad is mentioned a lot, but honestly we don’t really know anything about him, and he sporadically comes into the story only to have that plot point dropped and then never explained. Maybe that’s meant to be reflective of her actual relationship with her dad, but it felt incomplete as a book.

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katharina90's review against another edition

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dark reflective slow-paced
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

2.0

The main character is unlikeable and frustrating. She treats others horribly, but throws a fit when she receives the same treatment. 

The trauma at the root of her harmful choices isn't explored in a way that works for me, and without seeing much of a change in behavior I found it difficult to care. 

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